Being unable to control the situation, not having any idea what could happen next, work I cannot do, Panic Attacks and Depression, unexpected telephone calls, discovering a job is not at all appropriate... I could go on. The best I find one can do is find an environment that has as few "triggers" as possible and a supportive staff, work which will take your mind off of things and no nasty shocks. Hope this helps.
My management of myself: the way I care for myself. I’m a slave master, hostage taker, thuggish jailer to my own spirit and health. I’m volatile emotionally and frightened of what havoc some future outburst of my inner beast might wreak.
I’m whispering my SOS so it doesn’t hear me and kill me in revenge.
I get anxious about keeping my flat clean. When I clean it I feel like I should get a microscope to check for detail. I lack discipline and the place looks messy and chaotic. I feel lazy about maintaining it. I’m ashamed of myself and my lack of motivation. I guess I need to get more and more methodical. I’m anxious about how to handle the knock on effects of my death and what I should be doing in order to integrate my mortality in to my life. I’m always chasing where I feel I should be. My ideal self seems to be accelerating ahead in the race against my real self. I’m anxious about my ability to accept myself.
Being late for things. Particually when going to the airport, mega stress about missing a flight being at the wrong gate etc.
Confrontations with people, or people trying to sell me things. Either way i will just take the easy way out.
Random telephone calls, I wont answer if I don't know the number. Thankfully Covid has killed of the door to door seller, hated that too.
People just poping round when I am at home without calling first. My parents did this one day and I had a melt down.
Making mistakes, however minor and thinking everybody is laughing at me.
Finally more of a phobia but it freaks me out ..is fish! Can't even watch nature films with fish in them. No way would you get me to go to a Sea Life Center, mega melt down. Don't know why but they just freak me out totally.
