Hi my daughter/son as asd. But as so many meltdowns were he bites his self punchs walls and bangs his head on floor. Hes also transgender wanting to be a boy instead of a girl.he dosnt go out of house cos of anxity. His safe place is his bedroom. He is 17 and i dont know what i can do to help him. Please can anyone give me advice . He also tells me he wishes he was dead.
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Clare Mod
ethics could be a good one to think upon though, what is ethics and how it relates to this. is it the thing that makes NTs blunt out lie to your face and make them feel they are doing good? ....i dont do lies... so perhaps if ethics is lies then i do lack ethics. although i dunno i may have came close to regretting my truth one time and thinking on that, i blunt out told someone that the person they thought was their friend didnt really like them when i volunteered at a charity shop one time, although it had more context than that which i forgot now, i thought i was doing good by telling them the truth of the matter as the person they was following around always moaned about how they wish they would leave them alone but never could tell them to their face. but i guess the effect ended bad. i guess lies to preserve some form of weird continuation or something is ethics? meh i dont lie.... i find it really hard to lie even when its covering up something bad i have done, i cant do it and usually end up telling the truth.
honesty is a virtue though lol but what is ethics? surely ethics are a virtue too which means being blunt and telling the truth is not against ethics as that would clash with virtue and i guess ethics is supposed to be some form of virtue?
edit: sorry but i thought and looked into this before you can reply lol virtue is actually ethics.... virtue is the foundation and the very first of all human ethics on the planet.... and thus you preach ethics while your ethics are those of telling white lies... that is not ethical as any lie even a white lie is unvirtuous and virtue is ethics and so even white lies are unethical..... perhaps the opposite of virtue is also ethics... that would be sin.... so your ethics are that of sin.... but sin is morally wrong ethics.... while virtue was the morally good ethics...
now if a kid was brainwashed into thinking they are born into the wrong body and are actually a tree and got upset and suicidal then for being a human when they have been fooled into thinking they are a tree.... do you pander to this and then plant your kid in the garden? ,..... or do you instead try to reverse that damage, bring them back to sense and then find and go after the brainwashers that drove your kid man and made your kid think they was a tree? .... you see which is ethical here? ... the brainwashers are unethical.... they need to be gone after and stopped for their practices are unethical... but its also unethical for you to go along with it and then plant that kid in the garden isnt it.... so pray tell me how your ethics stand now... as you can see i dont just comment anything... i think... i think and that is all i ever do, which is why i can write so much and then still write more. so your previous arguments of me commenting and not thinking are perhaps projections of your self? because they dont suit me... how many times today have you thought of this topic? ... i have thought of it all night and all day up until now.... who doesnt think here then?
Let me give you a word of advice, young man: you will never be afforded the kind of help in the world you are receiving here in this forum from older and wiser autistic individuals who can see Right Through You.
Who have been where you think you are and managed to get ahold of their control issues.
This is a space for Growth: No one picked an argument. It appears you have not been given proper boundaries and so you do not know where they reside.
It appears you have been treated harshly, and bluntly, uncared for and so you do not know how to care for and be kind to others.
You have most likely not been helped to understand ethical manners of behaviour and practice in the least or taught how to seek understanding.
You are ill mannered, inconsiderate and inappropriate. Most likely you have been left feral and it is not admirable.
Humans like you, untended to, running wild, malfunctioning in all the Ego Centric ways only create MORE problems for Autistic Individuals (if you actually are autistic).
If I were you, I would shut up, sit down, and seek guidance. If you feel offended at what I'm saying? Let that and let that shock be a starting point. Be thankful if you can actually tap into that as a compass and follow it to a place of growth.
To the person who started this thread: I apologise for all of this - it looks like you struck a chord of some sort with this chap (perhaps there's a massive issue here with his back story and what you've said that he needs some counselling for) and I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
no, you specifically respond on my comments and comment direct to me to harrass and attack me when you dont need to do... if you dont like me or my comment just ignore me entirely and move on and put your own reply to the OP instead. but instead you opt to follow me around and respond to all of my comments in a harrassing antagonist manner when thats not really needed. but i suppose you have been indoctrinated to be like that in this era of fascist politics.... i bet you harrass and follow politicians around you dont like too and follow them around all day shouting abuse at them dont you like those people we see who are always wasting their time to follow around and heckle boris johnson as if harassment isnt a crime and is if he isnt a human that deserves to go about his day without grief and harassment. sadly these days harassment is normalised and you dotn even see the problem with it.
and by the way, learn the law.... hate crime requires a crime.. words alone are not a crime. hate crime is a motivator label for a actual crime... like assault... if you assault someone that is the crime, then if they see you made a comment about that persons skin when doing it that assault becomes hate crime.... for the hate crime there needs to be a actual crime.... harassment is a actual crime though. which is what fills in most hate crimes as the true hate criminals generally harrass and dont leave a person alone thus their hate crime is cemented as a crime by their harassment.
there is also public disorder offences which most come down to, and they are slap on the wrist offences that are mainly only there to be used as crowd control. to temporary arrest and remove someone, it is the perfect power to temporary remove someone from a protest for example, of which i think we had this discussion before and you didnt believe me then but makes full sense when you see it as a control mechanism and see the amount of people done for public disorder offences who were merely just moved out of the way and let go.
Heya, i understand sone of what you are going through, my son has just turned 16 he is transitioning from female to male with the help of camhs and koi. He is currently on puberty blockers and will move on to cross sex hormones(testosterone) after around 12 months all being well.
he had many of the same issues punching walls, banging head self harm also saying he would rather be dead.
He would very much agree that his bedroom is his safe place,
the route we took was primarily to gp who made a referral to camhs who helps him deal with anxiety coping mechanisms and prescribed anti depressants and counselling etc they made a referral to the gender clinic who helped him discuss his options legally changing his name and then hormones.
it has been a long hard road tho took three years to get to where we are now.
he still has bad days but now the main issues he suffers are related to his asd more than anything unfortunately we are still ore diagnosis tho at this point it feels more like a formality than anything.
Just try and support as much as you can and dont be afraid to reach out to gp or mental health time they will help you through it.
Following you around? You comment on every single post, regardless of whether you actually have anything relevant or knowledgeable to add to the matter (you rarely, if ever, do). I'm perfectly within my rights to comment on any post too, and I do, but only on those I know something about (unlike someone else). I don't "follow you all over the Internet", apart from the fact that I have no idea where else you might take your hate filled rants, I don't have any wish to "follow you"!. Please don't flatter yourself! And your "formal legal notice" isn't worth the time it took to type that. As I've said before, you have strange ideas. I'm sure the OP of this post is very happy that you hijacked her thread to spout your transphobic hatred, and to continue to try to lambast me for offering her support. I would love it if I could block you, but unfortunately I can't. And neither can you block me, that's the unfortunate way this particular site works. So I'll have to continue to see your ridiculous posts on, what you've freely admitted, you know nothing about because you have no real world knowledge. You cannot tell a transgengered person that what they are doing is wrong, that they don't know what they want and that they will end up hurting themselves or worse, or that any surgery they "might" decide to have in the future, is simply mutilation, akin to FGM (which is something else you have no idea about or you wouldn't attempt to equate the two!). That is just totally unacceptable in today's world. It's insulting and it could be seriously triggering. If you don't know anything about a topic, just DON'T COMMENT! I know it's a novel thought, but you don't have to comment on EVERY thread. Especially if you're going to spout nasty, hate filled, transphobic rhetoric. (Which by the way, is just as illegal online as it is in RL. Using the Internet to spread that sort of abuse is disgusting and is, rightfully, stamped down hard on by the police, who can easily find out who you are).
yeah and ive reported all your posts too for harrassment and i now issue you a formal legal notice to cease harrassing me over every single topic and stop following me all over the internet attacking me. this is your formal legal notice.... the next step is a court case... i mean come on, if you dont like me then stop following me and replying to my every post and harassing me, this is you doing this, leave me alone and ignore me, mods make it so she cant comment on any of my comments or something...
Karin Mod to the mods i request you to remove the user "JustMe" for breaking the uk laws on harrassment. she makes me feel uncomfortable and not safe or welcome here and i feel she needs to be removed from this site.... i have many other witnesses on this site who can attest to the fact this user has been following me around trying to provoke me and harrass me for weeks now. some even pointed it out in previous topics that she was doing this...
also i now suspect that your a twitter type fake lefty and possibly a NT who is just chasing labels for the sake of social gain and weird online social points.... you dont speak or think autistic enough, you are a social lie peddler who then forces your social lies with hate speach laws, which is the NT thing to do.... you dont go by logic or thinking for yourself... why dont we debate, how do you make a genetic woman into a man? .... tell me how that works and why is it that a historian who digs up your bones will not see you change of gender and instead see your birth gender from your remains? doesnt that mean the transition didnt truly change you and is all for show? tell me without the lies, tell me with logic how it works.... logically it doesnt work doesnt it? ... but yet you want to force by way of law the lie that it does work? for social points? ..... now isnt that rather neurotypical of you?
and yet your the one that came to me to start a fight with me? ..... check this all again and see who is the antagonistic one here... you could have ignored me and shut up but instead you decided to pick a argument on a sensitive topic and be so insensiitive as to start a war in the middle of this topic which is rather insensitive of you, and that other person who picked a fight too who has been harrassing me all over this forum of which to them i might have to issue a initial warning to cease harrassment so then i can take it farther if they ignore the warning.
You are neither qualified for intervention nor applying proper ethics with engagement.
You do not have a PhD nor are not asking diagnostic questions.
This forceful and defensive approach is out of bounds and out of control. If you want to help and not perpetuate hurt/antagonise further, Go to the Library or to Uni. There are manuals and tutorials and shelves of books on how to psychoanalyse properly. You will require mentorship and a stern but kind hand understanding how to problem solve when the heart is a matter of consequence. I do not hear the words of a caring adult man in anything you've said.
You are not equipped to be useful in this conversation.
Karin Mod, I've sent an email regarding this matter, but you might be able to deal with it in a more timely matter. Caelus is being extremely abusive and spreading hate speech regarding transgenger issues. Not only is this illegal, but it's highly upsetting and triggering for many, not least the OP, I'm sure. It is completely unacceptable that he be allowed to publicly claim that gender reassignment is genital mutilation (which, in itself, is a very serious matter and not something to be bandied about), and that anyone who supports and accepts someone who wishes to reassign, is a murderer. This is going to be devastating for any parent with a transgenger child to read! He needs stopping!
but then you dont tackle the problem and thus the suicide takes place.... how are you then helping? .... how is it helping to not tackle the issues and instead dance around them and allow them to grow worse?
when a issue is sensitive like this, you have to get to the point... if you dance around you will be too late to save a life yes?
They'll laugh you out of the station. But go ahead. With luck they'll arrest you for your hate speech. Maybe that's where I should report you, rather than this website. You DO realise that saying what you're saying is illegal? "Hate speech laws in England and Wales are found in several statutes. Expressions of hatred toward someone on account of that person's colour, race, disability, nationality (including citizenship), ethnic or national origin, religion, GENDER REASSIGNMENT, or sexual orientation is forbidden. ANY COMMUNICATION WHICH IS threatening or ABUSIVE, and is intended to harass, alarm, or DISTRESS someone is forbidden. The penalties for hate speech include fines, imprisonment, or both."
***edited by moderator**** influencers and teachers that spread these ideas to your kids in the first place and cause them these issues to begin with. they are a poison to your kids mind and when the damage is done it will be undoable and the worst will happen. these people need to be taken to court in a ideal world for forcing your kid down a path of self harm and mutilation.
and how can accepting the body you have make you feel rejected? if you cant accept your own body ofcourse your gonna feel a lot of rejection, these people force your kid to doubt themselves and reject their body and not accept their body and thus causes all these feelings of rejection ..... to say you are the person that your body isnt actually adds the feeling of rejection as it makes them feel they have to reject their body, and that usually ends with mutilation followed by suicide, all the feelings your kid hgas... ******** rather than wanting a person to be at ease with themself and accept themself and be happy.
[Edited by moderator due to breaking rule 4]
I think he needs professional counselling. I'm not sure, with his current mental state as it is, that you can do much to help him. He's got a lot going on, ASD 'and' transgenger issues. I think you need to speak with your GP, see if you can access counselling. Or maybe CAMHS (the cut off age is, I believe, 18. Though I could be wrong there). If you can finance it, you could cut out the middleman and go private, but make sure you find a reputable counsellor with experience in both ASD and transgenderism (there's probably a directory on this site). Ignore Caelus, he's not great with the advice, no real world experience. By acknowledging your sons desire to change gender, you're not "pandering" to him, you're accepting him. And that's what he needs. The worst thing you could do, in his current fragile state, is try and make him accept his femaleness. He'll feel rejected, confused and even more alone. Professional counselling can help him find out if that's what he really wants.
