Published on 12, July, 2020
Just been for my first hair cut in more than 2 years.
Since the lockdowns I've enjoyed the quiet, the routines, the lack of pressure to be out in busy places socialising.
Went back to somewhere I have been before and I was totally unused to it. Pains, sensory overwhelm, couldn't understand convos, went into my shell and could have agreed to anything (but thankfully a day later I can see I didn't have my head completely shaved or anything too drastic, haha, phew.) When I eventually got home I was ready to meltdown. Fearful of the sudden change to my hair.
Last time I was there I had no idea I was autistic. I don't remember SO much overwhelm, but I do remember it being a 'bigger' experience but couldn't pinpoint how. Yet I also remember some times of complete quiet - which tended to be when there was lots of white noise from hair dryers, etc. I could zone out, kind of an out-of-body experience, but also ran the risk of getting disorientated and forgetting what I'm supposed to do, leading to panic.
I totally understand that hairdressers and barbers could be hugely overwhelming places now, and I'm seriously considering cutting my own hair, but I don't think I'd do well with that at all so for now I'll continue putting myself through this as infrequently as I can...
What are your experiences with hair cuts - especially before and after the lockdowns?
Also, have any of you ever confided in a hairdresser / barber about being autistic? Did it help?
JustMe said:they always want to chat. "Have you booked your holidays?"
I think people need to look at it another way - these people are bored sh*tless - spending all day, every day in a 12' box, on their feet doing a job guaranteed to give them RSI.
An ASD person with a specialist subject knowledge is like a breath of fresh air - I've found many just need you to talk about anything to relieve their suicidal boredom - so something out of the ordinary repertoire of "weather's nice" input is usually welcomed - even if they are baffled by your knowledge about 1965 Citroen 2CV engine rebuilds.
I haven't been to a hairdresser/barber for years, thankfully! My partner was a hairdresser, many years ago, so I get it cut for free and without the added stress. I've always hated the hairdressers, mainly because they always want to chat. "Have you booked your holidays?", "Going anywhere nice this year?". "Just shut up and cut my hair!". I never said that, but I wanted to! Lol! The last few times I went to a local barber. I have short hair in a basic style so being a woman wasn't an issue. Apart from being miles cheaper, £20+ at a hairdresser's to less than £10 at the barber for the same service, the guy didn't insist on small talk either! Win, win. I'm super glad I don't have to do that now, though!
I'm the opposite. I hate having long hair and a beard. But I could NEVER shave myself properly. The barbershop does it for me.
I have that quirk too, I don't think it's an autistic thing is it? Just a human thing. I can't bear it when men insist on shaving their heads when they aren't bald.
Will you keep the beard?
expensive lol i get my hair cut once a year and so it grows shoulder length, barber still only charges basic rate of £10 and i get it cut short so its alot of hair on floor and lotta stuff to cut.
I'm fortunate that my hair is long. I used to get it cut at the hair dressers and it was always between £25 and £35 for a trim, I always put it off. During Covid, I found out I could just trim the ends myself. Because it's long, any mistakes aren't noticeable. Takes me five minutes, costs nothing. I prefer it tied back, so again, it's easy to manage if I do it myself and isn't worth the trouble or expense.
Ethan said:Since lockdown I just use the clippers every couple of months (went full Buddhist one month - which I quite liked).
I've done the opposite. Have not cut my hair at all since February 2020 and grown a beard so it's very long now! It's the first time in my life I've had long hair or a beard.
Really not looking forward to going to the hairdresser but I don't think I can go on looking like I've been stranded on a desert island for much longer.
When I was younger (20s, 30s) I used to HATE going to the hairdressers because there was pressure to answer stupid questions e.g. Are you going out tonight? Do you have a boyfriend? Doing anything special at the weekend? No, no and no and why is it your business?
But since being 40s, 50s, I must be more confident or hairdressers' training is better because they don't ask stupid questions anymore, we talk about all sorts of things.
However I am very, very careful what hairdresser I choose now. If one is too nosey/ bossy/ boring, I quickly make an appointment with another one.
do your ears get hot inside? I don't like wearing earphones for too long because I mono-focus on the sweaty heat inside my ear.
This sounds blissful!
I love massages and touch, but not at the same time as sensory overload and has to be from someone I know I trust. I have lots of links with people taking advantage of me physically and me not realising (me not catching social cues, I think), so trust has to come first. My PTSD episodes were about when I was hit as a child as well :(
It sucks that a sensory experience that can give so much pleasure can be associated with trauma. Glad not to have lost the pleasurable side completely though.
Me too!
That's surprising to me. I love it. I can literally have any part of my body massaged, touched for any length of time.
I like hair cuts - my wife has a visiting hair dresser who cuts my hair too - she knows I'm aspie - but only from chatting about stuff - she has a young autistic nephew so I'm a source of real-world autistic data
I'm like a cat - I could sit all day having my hair combed, pulled, trimmed - I normally pull my own hair when I need to stim.
I hate shaving in every possible way.
I've not been to a hairdresser/barber for years, I use electric clippers now to do my own grade-3 all over.
However, back when I did go to get my hair cut by a professsional, I didn't so much mind having my hair cut, but there is always this inane chatter that they try and I'm just there thinking "I don't know you, why would I want to have a conversation about my life?" Also there was the issue where I never knew what to ask for - the only times I ever tried anythign different was when a friend came with me and gave suggestions, otherwise I'd just ask for it to be the same but shorter.
I don't have any sensory issues so I can't relate to this. Also the barber I typically go to always has the radio or tv show playing, so the staff would rather focus on that in the background than to have small talk and casual low brow chat with their customers.
I'm hoping to go full Buddhist one day! I think I would be hooked! (Except for the cold!) But I think not yet. Maybe when my hair is much more grey and frazzled. Only a few days ago it was down to my tail bone... Any hair cut leaves me in shock, so I'm trying to be sensible here, too!
Would love to shave my head in solidarity with someone going through chemo and for charity... but am NOT hoping for that situation to arise... Glad it hasn't yet, i.e. noone close to me is getting chemo.
Same here! I also love the book thing - usually get handed gossip magazines that remind me of the worst of humanity!
I absolutely hate them - but then I have an aversion to persons standing close to me with sharp objects and the social chit chat.
Since lockdown I just use the clippers every couple of months (went full Buddhist one month - which I quite liked).
I got a haircut and shave yesterday for a Tenner. That's for nothing. :)
I can handle chit chat okay, but despise queues. So this setup suits me better.