Help / Guidance

You clearly have a problem with my post - or can you not add anything except hastily edited posts?

Do you think it's ok to mess with people without proper qualifications?

Plastic said:

It's always a worry when unqualified people go meddling in other people's mental health.    This is why fully trained and qualified professionals must have indemnity insurance

aidie said:

My top manager  ( just below CEO) is now teaching and taking her own meditation sessions in my work, with the approval of the CEO,, HR and backed by the unions !  I hope to be working with her in delivering these and other types of meditation once Covid is over.

It's always a worry when unqualified people go meddling in other people's mental health.    This is why fully trained and qualified professionals must have indemnity insurance.

Agreed Plastic, meditation is going to be limited without making some changes to the work load. But it's also helpful to be aware of various ways that people have found to incorporate different techniques into their workload. That way, if an opportunity presents itself, a person is in a position to take advantage of it. 

The worst thing is to finally get a moment, and not know that you can do something helpful with it. I've been through it and I could kick myself with the amount of missed opportunities that I've had which could have made such a difference to my health. Both physical and mental.

Loz and Pikl

thanks for your support, and very constructive contributions,  all 3 of us and more in this forum have all benefited from meditation.   

My top manager  ( just below CEO) is now teaching ( qualified teacher )  and taking her own meditation sessions in my work, with the approval of the CEO,, HR and backed by the unions !  I hope to be working with her in delivering these and other types of meditation once Covid is over.

Mindfulness Meditation is effective against anxiety and depression  in 60-70% of adults with autism.

Mediation has been shown ,  and  I have have seen this many times, to be very practical for top executives and managers as well as the other workers as well.

But that's the problem the O.P. has - no spare minutes and not enough recuperation time - it's the edge of the death-spiral - the even-horizon if you will.

The O,P. needs to shed some of the immediate responsibilities to make the space for down-time to start to self-repair..      I've seen it lots of times.

I realise it doesn't sound practical, Plastic. I think many people don't realise you can take a few seconds or a few minutes and still get some benefit. I rarely sit down to meditate for more than a few minutes at a time. But those times that I do, I feel better. I think it's more about stealing a quiet moment for yourself than trying to find the answer to the 'ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything'.

That's good - but you have to have the time available to do this.     A lot of professional people are too overloaded to fit this in until they off-load some of the pressure they are under.

My therapist sends me links to guided meditation on YouTube, and we've meditated together. She's teaching me mindfulness to help me let go of stress that has happened and to not stress over what may happen.

Meditation and navel gazing is all well and good - but unfortunately, most people have to perform in the real world and deliver targets under such stress that there isn't space for it.   

It's something that can be looked at once the work/life balance is addressed to create the time to look at oneself

Just to agree with Loz the increased calmness and reduced anxiety achieved using meditations is pretty useful for all situations

there are different types ( sitting, lying, walking, "By doing" )

Guided meditations are the way i started.

it took 2 years before i seen personality/ behavioural changes. But everyone is different.

I always find it contains a lot of practical advice. There are a lot of guided meditations on youtube. it's often a good place to start. I quite enjoy listening to the talks you get from the monks and nuns. Even something as basic as 'happiness'. Often they have a meditation at the end so by the time they have finished the talk, I've been listening and am therefore more calm so by the time I do the meditation, I'm used to how they talk and it's easier to go through the meditation. Plus it's always nice to learn something about happiness

Very true. In order to get a job that was not reliant on the renewal of fixed-term grants I had to leave bench research, which I loved, and take on a 'management' position. In universities there is essentially no career structure outside teaching or administration/management. There is no promotion or reward system for able experimenters.  

I think this is a big problem in science and analysis jobs. Promotion almost always takes you away from the lab bench eventually. It's the captain kirk problem. Commanding a starship was really the only thing he was good at. Being made an admiral and given a desk job is almost the worst thing for you. Industry / education / the public sector, really need a promotion path where the job stays very technical.

After many enjoyable years working in a relatively small scientific research team, we had a failure in grant money. This resulted  in me moving into managing scientific services/facilities in a research institute, many more people, many more interactions and I was suddenly having to solve other people's problems, not my own. This resulted in greatly increased stress. One practical method to help minimise this that I found, was to take breaks, usually about 20 minutes at at time, where I was on my own and uncontactable. I often sat at the top of a fire escape or on the roof-access landing, where no-one ever went. It helped me cope, but at the earliest opportunity I took retirement, I was coping with, but not enjoying, my job.

Hiya

You may not necessarily retire-  but measure your limits.    You sound like me - used to just succeeding and powering through and solving problems on the fly - however, you're starting to see the limits and edges of your capabilities - and it's a shock.

You need to have a think about your options - just walking away may be difficult if you're used to operating at high levels and making things happen   It's worth considering that a good chunk of governance and compliance with standards is all logic and application of the clearly published rules-  so is there a side position or a job split where you can concentrate of the more logical, defined parts of the business and leave the softer, woolly, ill-defined parts to someone more suited to the constant fog-knitting?    

Other than that, do you have enough hobbies and interests to make your life fulfilled?   Just stopping isn't healthy.

What other passions and hobbies do you have?  

Hello Plastic,  I answered your reply last night but it does not appear so I must have done something wrong.  So sorry.

Thank you for your response, clearly genuine, frank and understanding.  It helped me do a lot of thinking yesterday.  You are right the HR space is difficult and I get so many questions / meetings flooding in often asking for decisions which will cause discomfort to someone and it makes me feel horrible.

Defraging my brain - yes got that and now it does not always clear in the evening and I am not doing anything else as my brain is frazzled as you say.

I am now at a cross road and your honest comments are helping me reach a decision.  My health is more important than a job and it may be time to retire.

Thanks again and sorry my response last night went wrong.

G

Thank you Loz.  Some good thoughts there, differentiating between meetings I am comfortable and preventing sprung meetings is a good idea. Not tried meditation, although have a very healthy respect for Buddhists who always seem to appear calm and in control. Mere fact you replied is a help - thank you.

I've worked a lot at director level - I'm afraid there's no good answer for your position.     You're in the best places for HFA - sticking with the areas that are fact-based - financial and H&S but the HR functions will be tough for you - it's all a bit nebulous and you have to use flexible judgment everywhere - that will be stressful.

One of our problems is masking - providing a nice user-interface to everyone so we seem more 'normal'.     You might not realise you're doing this but it's extremely energy hungry - as we age we lose the ability to sustain it - we get home totally frazzled and need increasingly longer periods to de-frag our brains from the day's social interactions.

It's likely that you're already feeling the effects of ageing with autism - I'm sorry to say it doesn't get better unless you actively work at off-loading what stresses you.

Not a director I'm afraid. But I am also waiting on assessment so I understand what it's like to be in limbo. I'm still learning, and others could offer you more advice, but one thing that has helped me, is keeping a routine for the things I can control. That way I have to expend less energy on everything else and I can put more energy into dealing with people socially. If you can choose to have meetings where you know about the topic being discussed rather than having a meeting sprung on you at the last minute, that can help you prepare mentally. Mindfullness is always helpful. As is meditation. Buddhism is a good way to found out both of these things. Finally, I keep a bullet journal. It was created by a guy called Ryder Carroll and has helped me to put things in order in my head. I believe he is also on the spectrum so what he's created is something you can adapt for your specific needs. Hope this helps. Good luck with your current position. I'm sure that you will do amazing things for your charity.