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Help / Guidance

NAS73375

Hello everyone,  I have just joined as I need some guidance and to be honest this is scary.  I have not been diagnosed although recent reading and on line indicators suggest I am on the Autistic spectrum somewhere.  I am struggling at present and need to find a way forward.  My mind has always been my strength and during my career have enjoyed taking on problems that others have shied away form as not possible.  However a couple of months ago I was promoted to Director in the Charity I work with and now my work is at least 50% meetings plus dealing with people (I look after finance, systems, HR, governance and H & S).  I have realised I no longer have my bolt hole of spread sheets, financial modelling or analysis to hide in while I recharge my batteries. Many years ago I had the opportunity to partake in Myers Briggs test which taught me that whilst I was introverted I could summon up the energy to do more extrovert things, for a short while.  Now I need batteries to be full all the time. Yes I am now declining in mental health and worry I cannot do my job or will have a meltdown.

There are other things in life which challenge me socially but work is the big one at present.  I hope to retire in about a year's time.  Is there a director on this forum who appreciates what I am saying here and can perhaps give me some tips / ideas to help me manage myself.

Thank you and apologies if I have wasted anyone's time.

G

Parents

  • I've worked a lot at director level - I'm afraid there's no good answer for your position.     You're in the best places for HFA - sticking with the areas that are fact-based - financial and H&S but the HR functions will be tough for you - it's all a bit nebulous and you have to use flexible judgment everywhere - that will be stressful.

    One of our problems is masking - providing a nice user-interface to everyone so we seem more 'normal'.     You might not realise you're doing this but it's extremely energy hungry - as we age we lose the ability to sustain it - we get home totally frazzled and need increasingly longer periods to de-frag our brains from the day's social interactions.

    It's likely that you're already feeling the effects of ageing with autism - I'm sorry to say it doesn't get better unless you actively work at off-loading what stresses you.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Hello Plastic,  I answered your reply last night but it does not appear so I must have done something wrong.  So sorry.

    Thank you for your response, clearly genuine, frank and understanding.  It helped me do a lot of thinking yesterday.  You are right the HR space is difficult and I get so many questions / meetings flooding in often asking for decisions which will cause discomfort to someone and it makes me feel horrible.

    Defraging my brain - yes got that and now it does not always clear in the evening and I am not doing anything else as my brain is frazzled as you say.

    I am now at a cross road and your honest comments are helping me reach a decision.  My health is more important than a job and it may be time to retire.

    Thanks again and sorry my response last night went wrong.

    G

Reply
  • in reply to Plastic

    Hello Plastic,  I answered your reply last night but it does not appear so I must have done something wrong.  So sorry.

    Thank you for your response, clearly genuine, frank and understanding.  It helped me do a lot of thinking yesterday.  You are right the HR space is difficult and I get so many questions / meetings flooding in often asking for decisions which will cause discomfort to someone and it makes me feel horrible.

    Defraging my brain - yes got that and now it does not always clear in the evening and I am not doing anything else as my brain is frazzled as you say.

    I am now at a cross road and your honest comments are helping me reach a decision.  My health is more important than a job and it may be time to retire.

    Thanks again and sorry my response last night went wrong.

    G

Children
  • in reply to NAS73375

    Hiya

    You may not necessarily retire-  but measure your limits.    You sound like me - used to just succeeding and powering through and solving problems on the fly - however, you're starting to see the limits and edges of your capabilities - and it's a shock.

    You need to have a think about your options - just walking away may be difficult if you're used to operating at high levels and making things happen   It's worth considering that a good chunk of governance and compliance with standards is all logic and application of the clearly published rules-  so is there a side position or a job split where you can concentrate of the more logical, defined parts of the business and leave the softer, woolly, ill-defined parts to someone more suited to the constant fog-knitting?    

    Other than that, do you have enough hobbies and interests to make your life fulfilled?   Just stopping isn't healthy.

    What other passions and hobbies do you have?