Can't find like minded people you connect with ?

The problem with most of us auties is we don't know where we fit so assumptions are made along NT lines and thought processes.       That's doomed to fail.

I really think you need to dig deep into your childhood and remember what delighted you as a child.      It's usually easier for blokes because there's easy access to cars, trains, Lego etc. so then it's just a case of finding the particular group that suits best.       The focus of all conversations will be about a 'thing' or a defined subject so it's really easy to keep up and learn the rules - it lights all the specialist subject parts of you brain.   Communication can be as simple as grunts of approval 

It's much harder for women - unless they're into bloke-stuff.    Most 'female interest' groups like history or book clubs will include a lot of communication skills - lots of masking and maybe some politics.    It's much harder to break into.       A lot of the typical female-interests are solo pursuits too - needlework, jewellery, toy making etc. so it's hard to make a friend group.

I spent years trying to be interested in the normal girl stuff, soap operas, fashion, makeup. I wasted so many years trying to fit in and not looking weird. Never figured out that I was expending energy on being miserable.

I even gave up my costume work because I was too focused on the social aspect and getting worn out when I just needed to focus on the core skills which made me happy and would have helped me to build my career. There seems to always be an emphasis on women being social creatures. I still can't convince my lot at work not to give me a birthday card each year.

I've joined an online Costume History group which is great for me, as it's helping me tap into the type of thing I enjoy, but even there, there is a substantial amount of social etiquette that I have to be mindful of, even if it's predominantly online at the moment.

I just asked a question about corset patterns, I made it clear that I had the skills and knowledge, (Just being lazy and didn't want to draft a pattern) I still had people 'advising me' very basic things. The urge to point out that not only have they not actually answered the question, but have also insulted my knowledge on the subject is strong, but I know that will cause me issues within the group. It's all politics as much as it is about the shared interest.

Yeah - that's the big problem with female groups - you just can't get away from the politics - and there's always someone who turns out to be a narcissist who wants to control the group.

I know a few people in the industry who make corsets but they are one-woman businesses and they do it all themselves for the niche customers.    It's the same in Camden - all individual makers going it alone.

I see, my view was just something I read in a psychology article. I suppose there are all sorts of explanations for why the birth rate is declining.

I think having children is just too difficult, too unattractive, too grown up for most people now days. A life without children is just easier and we don't need them to look after us as we get older, or take over the farm we live on, or provide new people to keep the community going as we did in history. Now we have care homes for old people, few people live off the land, we have a vast population, we're not going extinct. In history, having children was vital to keep communities alive.

I read that only 47% of Americans are parents now so I expect that goes for most western countries.

I've noticed that too.

Another downvote from Charles, the phantom account...

But there are so many - we'd need a month at least! 

Maybe we should have a National Love-A-Stupid-Person-Day?

ChaosLogrus said:

I apologise unreservedly

Absolutely not needed - your opinions and views are just as correct and valid as anyone else's - feel free to joust any time 

It's sorta the other way around - I'm watching an image consultant on Youtube  - his channel is highlighting that women are delaying/avoiding getting married  but still having kids by various Chads.    In some racial groups, 80% of men never father a child.      The women are in default poly-relationships.

To be clear, my response was intended as a purely hypothetical exploration of the idea.

I will never make assumptions regarding people’s character. 
If I have or ever do give anyone the impression I am making value judgements based on these or indeed any personal criteria, it is most certainly not my intention and I apologise unreservedly.

Regarding people of lesser relative cognitive function or intelligence, as before I can see no reason to attempt to refute your logic.

No, but so far we've done a lot better in modern times than people in history haven't we. I mean we haven't been wiped out by climate events...yet.

And that would be the end of women forever, wouldn't it. We'd be culled.

I've never said stupid people don't deserve love - but they are likely to overestimate their abilities and so get injured or killed doing something dumb.

wow my imagination started creating a very bizarre image there lol

climate events if very large can not be controlled. Nor will we be able to predict when they are coming. 

I don't imagine working for the Prince of Darkness in any capacity is a wise career mov. Even for a supervillain!  In my experience, there is always one answer to all such matters: 

All you need is love... and a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones.

I genuinely don’t entirely disagree in principle with any particular point that has been made. But if I may play devils advocate:

Variation in cognitive ability or relative intelligence could be considered in the same way as any neurological diversification. If we apply the most conventional morality to the subject, the general indication is that the more able have a responsibility to those who are not accompanied by obligation to treat them fairly. Is this not after all a similar understanding we as autistic people require?

Therefore, and I can barely believe I am even saying this, stupid people are valid?

Everyone had a place back in the day - and yes, the idiots removed themselves from the gene pool.

I'm a tad miffed - I've done everything right - don't smoke or drink, surprisingly healthy and fit - but it's game over for me.

Yet the self-destructive ones will live to 90.

Life is not fair.

Round of applause for you! So true.

Also, I read that the problem with modern society is that the clever ones spend lots of time stopping the stupid ones killing themselves by accident e.g. drinking, taking selfies on cliffs etc.

For most of history, if you were stupid, you died. End of. You had to be clever, have initiative, have lots of skills, or you'd get killed somehow.

Now days, most people can get anything they want at the click of a button, there aren't any predators (apart from other humans), climate events can be predicted and/or controlled, medical care is state of the art so most people survive horrendous illnesses/ accidents.

Humans are victims of our own success.

we could always start growing the babies in glass tubes instead.

there is a very clear link between how intelligent a woman is and how disposed to having children she is.

And that's why we're headed for the Idiocracy - the dumbasses breed like rabbits and the clever ones die out.

I agree with this. I've never got on with groups of women. The first thing they say is 'why are you so skinny?' and that is the end of the social interaction. Please women stop fixating on your weight!

So I work alone at home as an editor with no colleagues.

I agree with this. I've never got on with groups of women. The first thing they say is 'why are you so skinny?' and that is the end of the social interaction. Please women stop fixating on your weight!

So I work alone at home as an editor with no colleagues.

Jealousy is so stupid. If they knew the health problems I struggle with every day, the severely restricted diet, they'd change their tune. Although having said that, women have said to me 'I wish I had your health problems, then I'd be thin.' Talk about a stupid, selfish comment.

They're jealous and have to point something out to make it seem like you're 'doing something wrong.' I too don't play the stupid female games that are expected of me. I sometimes watch "Real Housewives' with a sort of fascination, like watching aliens.