Can't find like minded people you connect with ?

The problem with most of us auties is we don't know where we fit so assumptions are made along NT lines and thought processes.       That's doomed to fail.

I really think you need to dig deep into your childhood and remember what delighted you as a child.      It's usually easier for blokes because there's easy access to cars, trains, Lego etc. so then it's just a case of finding the particular group that suits best.       The focus of all conversations will be about a 'thing' or a defined subject so it's really easy to keep up and learn the rules - it lights all the specialist subject parts of you brain.   Communication can be as simple as grunts of approval 

It's much harder for women - unless they're into bloke-stuff.    Most 'female interest' groups like history or book clubs will include a lot of communication skills - lots of masking and maybe some politics.    It's much harder to break into.       A lot of the typical female-interests are solo pursuits too - needlework, jewellery, toy making etc. so it's hard to make a friend group.

I spent years trying to be interested in the normal girl stuff, soap operas, fashion, makeup. I wasted so many years trying to fit in and not looking weird. Never figured out that I was expending energy on being miserable.

I even gave up my costume work because I was too focused on the social aspect and getting worn out when I just needed to focus on the core skills which made me happy and would have helped me to build my career. There seems to always be an emphasis on women being social creatures. I still can't convince my lot at work not to give me a birthday card each year.

I've joined an online Costume History group which is great for me, as it's helping me tap into the type of thing I enjoy, but even there, there is a substantial amount of social etiquette that I have to be mindful of, even if it's predominantly online at the moment.

I just asked a question about corset patterns, I made it clear that I had the skills and knowledge, (Just being lazy and didn't want to draft a pattern) I still had people 'advising me' very basic things. The urge to point out that not only have they not actually answered the question, but have also insulted my knowledge on the subject is strong, but I know that will cause me issues within the group. It's all politics as much as it is about the shared interest.

I spent years trying to be interested in the normal girl stuff, soap operas, fashion, makeup. I wasted so many years trying to fit in and not looking weird. Never figured out that I was expending energy on being miserable.

I even gave up my costume work because I was too focused on the social aspect and getting worn out when I just needed to focus on the core skills which made me happy and would have helped me to build my career. There seems to always be an emphasis on women being social creatures. I still can't convince my lot at work not to give me a birthday card each year.

I've joined an online Costume History group which is great for me, as it's helping me tap into the type of thing I enjoy, but even there, there is a substantial amount of social etiquette that I have to be mindful of, even if it's predominantly online at the moment.

I just asked a question about corset patterns, I made it clear that I had the skills and knowledge, (Just being lazy and didn't want to draft a pattern) I still had people 'advising me' very basic things. The urge to point out that not only have they not actually answered the question, but have also insulted my knowledge on the subject is strong, but I know that will cause me issues within the group. It's all politics as much as it is about the shared interest.

Jealousy is so stupid. If they knew the health problems I struggle with every day, the severely restricted diet, they'd change their tune. Although having said that, women have said to me 'I wish I had your health problems, then I'd be thin.' Talk about a stupid, selfish comment.

Because good people are too self-loahing to procreate.

Whatever you think about, you create. We thought about a possible Dystopia, and that's what we have.

The problem is that the Media tail is wagging the Political dog.

Politics is superseeded by Cult-Worship.

I have an online Female Friend from Toronto who has an Autistic-style Hyperinterest in Makeup. She's considering becoming a YouTube Influencer.

Forced multiculturalism (and then forced campaigns for diversity) were introduced by the neoliberals in the late 70's early 80's to prepare for the transition to a global economy. It was a social engineering strategy to browbeat the poorest communities into accepting low-paid workers from different countries, fostering job insecurity within the working class, and thus keep wages low. 

Countries rarely send their most skilled citizens abroad. You don't get poor Pakistanis moving to Knightsbridge or settling in the home counties. They make to the large cities and poor urban areas where housing is cheap and low-paid jobs are plentiful.

And of course, after 30 years, it lead directly to a surge in nationalism across Europe and the world as native populations realised that the decades of forced multiculturalism, unfettered immigration had not lead to an increase in their standards of living as promised. 

The only people to benefit were the fat cats at the tops of corporations, the corrupt bankers and financial sector, and other neoliberal institutions.

After the banks were bailed out from ruin in 2008, the neoliberal agenda was laid bare for all to see. That's why we got Brexit. 

One of the big problems with US businesses is they score 2 inclusivity points if they hire minority women - so they tick boxes rather than looking for the best.

I read that only 47% of Americans are parents now so I expect that goes for most western countries.

The huge problem is maths.     Women have been told they can have it all - but if you do the maths backwards from retirement then women are on a real time-crunch to do the whole marriage / family thing.  

Not long ago, people were married in their early 20s, kids done around 30, kids leaving the nest in your mid-50s, save hard and retire mid 60s.

Now everyone tells the educated to be perpetual children until mid 30s so by the time they get into a relationship and are stable enough for kids, they're 40 - and can't be bothered with sleepless nights and working until mid 70s to pay for it all.

The dummies don't even consider any of this - they just pump them out from 14 onwards - someone else will clean up the mess.

I'm not sure I'm onboard with the all-women businesses. Same with race...I'm sure I'll get some hate here. I also don't get on board with the forced 'diversity' in the workplace...we aren't baseball cards. You can't just collect all of us & then brag about your inclusion. I feel like the all-women business hurts equality in a big way.

They're jealous and have to point something out to make it seem like you're 'doing something wrong.' I too don't play the stupid female games that are expected of me. I sometimes watch "Real Housewives' with a sort of fascination, like watching aliens.

I see, my view was just something I read in a psychology article. I suppose there are all sorts of explanations for why the birth rate is declining.

I think having children is just too difficult, too unattractive, too grown up for most people now days. A life without children is just easier and we don't need them to look after us as we get older, or take over the farm we live on, or provide new people to keep the community going as we did in history. Now we have care homes for old people, few people live off the land, we have a vast population, we're not going extinct. In history, having children was vital to keep communities alive.

I read that only 47% of Americans are parents now so I expect that goes for most western countries.

ChaosLogrus said:

Thank you so much for taking the time to compose this response. The knowledge and insight demonstrated here is genuinely useful and I appreciate it greatly.

I've noticed that too.

Another downvote from Charles, the phantom account...

But there are so many - we'd need a month at least! 

Maybe we should have a National Love-A-Stupid-Person-Day?

ChaosLogrus said:

I apologise unreservedly

Absolutely not needed - your opinions and views are just as correct and valid as anyone else's - feel free to joust any time 

It's sorta the other way around - I'm watching an image consultant on Youtube  - his channel is highlighting that women are delaying/avoiding getting married  but still having kids by various Chads.    In some racial groups, 80% of men never father a child.      The women are in default poly-relationships.

To be clear, my response was intended as a purely hypothetical exploration of the idea.

I will never make assumptions regarding people’s character. 
If I have or ever do give anyone the impression I am making value judgements based on these or indeed any personal criteria, it is most certainly not my intention and I apologise unreservedly.

Regarding people of lesser relative cognitive function or intelligence, as before I can see no reason to attempt to refute your logic.

No, but so far we've done a lot better in modern times than people in history haven't we. I mean we haven't been wiped out by climate events...yet.

And that would be the end of women forever, wouldn't it. We'd be culled.