# Daily Updates 2 #

Tough Monday.

All the things that I explicitly said I needed post-diagnosis disappeared today. Called into a meeting last minute, no brief, no update, no clear steer and expected to present to a meeting full of stakeholders without a clear ask. The topic is not even my stuff. Made worse because someone else fudged something which apparently some people know about and I'm placed in a vulnerable position on how to deliver information because I don't know who knows about said fudge -so do I refer to it or not? I do not do this kind of uncertainty. I need parameters to work in. On my pay scale I expect them.

Stress levels through the roof which left me disconnected and frayed most of the day. My colleague less than helpful - at times I need someone to be objective and mindful of my traits when I'm feeling on edge - not bombarding with me opinions and useless information. 

I present, I decided not to refer to the fudge because my so-called leads haven't (and they're supposed to be the ones setting the scene). The information lands well. Everyone is happy.

Except me.

How the hell do people work like this?

Hi Ethan. That sounds like a awful day. You were up till late posting it (if you are in the UK) so I hope that you managed to get some sleep and are feeling more rested. I hope that today goes better and that you are managing okay. Take care. 

Hi Ethan. That sounds like a awful day. You were up till late posting it (if you are in the UK) so I hope that you managed to get some sleep and are feeling more rested. I hope that today goes better and that you are managing okay. Take care. 

Thanks, I vented to my manager this morning so it's getting people aware of what accommodations I need - although my "everything is chaotic" (which it is) philosophy is being put to the test. 

Slept for hours after I logged off the works PC - which means I can be awake at unsocial hours. When I get restless I'll potter about and do an update entry which tends to quieten a busy mind down.

Things have been better today though (I'm holding the fort for another 2 weeks). The sup-a-cuppa-while-waiting-around-for-a-call this morning was a godsend. 10 minutes of pure heaven.