for all people suffering ,,,,,stop blaming others,,,,,,, zen

what is right ?

biological right

or law of the country right

or religion right

or just your right? 

in short u could be deemed wrong by a later generation or another country or even your country !

I have no desire to hurt anyone - but if people seek conflict with me, they will find I'm happy to go right back at them.

I will also not stand by and watch innocent people being hurt.    Sometimes, being a man means something and standing up for right is one of them..

Zen buddhism isnt a religion so u can be Christian and Buddhist but  I would say the Buddhism part is so powerful the deeper u go,,,  that any trace of a religion would be over written.

but there are Christian Buddhists running around i just haven't met one yet 

In that respect, holding grudges won't change the actions of the guards, vengeance won't break the cycle either. Situations like that, blame is way too harmful.

I suppose if blame is used, it should always be paired with reason. 'I blame you for this action, I wish you to acknowledge it and understand why I feel you are responsible so we can find a resolution and move forward'.

Probably a hell of a lot better than 'I blame you and I hate you forever!'

love thy neighbour as yourself ! 

I also come from a Christian background but found most Christians dont follow their own teachings !

Well I come from a christian tradition so take a different view. As we like to remind people if you ask what would Jesus do remember chasing you with a whip is on the list of options. You don't have to hate people to seek conflict with them, just to recognise there is a situation that won't be resolved without conflict. Passive self sacrifice is noble, if it serves some higher purpose or is protecting someone. If it's merely a means of escaping conflict for an easy life then its ultimately self serving.

If life gives you lemons... 

Gosh, I am so much happier that I know now, even though in some ways I can much more clearly see what an objectionable human being I can be at times, which is a bit "draining", at least I have a chance of using the new knowledge to do something about it. 

O.K. I'll admit that sometimes forming an Autistic army to use our innate resourcefulness and talents for improvising weapons to rise up and slaughter all the normies, (or at least put them in camps and take their slice of the pie) seems like something that needs to be done as a matter of urgency, but I'm actually still holding out for a more elegant and kind solution to appear to me... :c)

Zen teaches u that the solution is within you at all times its never anywhere else !

Zen says, everyone is pure and good,,  you just have to remove/quiet/see through the bad thoughts  and thinking ( imposed by society etc, and created by your own mind "the ego" ) to return to the real you

to people who say "take up arms", I say you go ahead, you do it.

But dont use, or encourage,  the vulnerable, or anyone i know,  to do it for you

Zen says ---- your views are allowed you are just on the wrong path 

Zen just gave me a headache, lol,,, it is so difficult,   coming from a background/upbringing of pure violence to that of pure peace with life and the universe  ( equanimity )

u're reflecting and changing your behaviour thats great to see. 

just to show you how far this is expected to go  ---- when the Tibetan monks while being tortured by their chinese guards would be polite to them and not blame them, not hold a grudge against them. "We are all one" prevails, we are all in the one big game together 

I know its mind blowing

somes days i "get it",,,  then another day i dont. I am trying to increase the number of "get it" days by applying this thinking it really changes the rest of your life

jordan stole it from Zen  --- zen/buddhism was into this stuff in AD 600 approx and maybe earlier 

lol

thats awesome,,, good to see such a reflection of the self

I feel culturally enriched from your reply peter, as well as agreeing wholeheartedly. I always dimly wondered what all that slings and arrows stuff was all about, as it appears so often. Great, I learned something!

I very much agree with both lines of thought. I'm dealing with an ongoing issue involving my Management team. As much as I would like to simply walk away from it and get on with my life, they have created a toxic environment for myself and others. One example is asking a manager why she passed on a private email that I had sent her in confidence (I actually told her that I had been threatened by another manager - she passed email to said manager who told me I was being unreasonable and they were just doing their job). Instead of answering my question, this manager replied with 'I'd like us to move forwards now and look to the future'. I've attempted to deal with numerous issues like that as each time things happen, my mental health takes a beating and gets worse and worse. I acknowledge that I have faults, but my management team actively use gaslighting techniques to push blame onto myself and others.

Blame is like poison. You have to balance it out so you don't give or take too much. I don't want to simply blame my managers, I want to find genuine solutions to an issue that has been going on for years. Despite the advice I've received from union rep, counsellor, etc, I'm trying to do it without a grievance for my own health but I also need for them to take responsibility and acknowledge that change needs to happen. 

It is possible to get so focused on something that it seems to envelope everything. I have a step back policy for myself. Step back, maybe focus on something else for a few days, then look at things and see if I have missed something. Try and think of the situation from a different point of view, perhaps talk to someone who doesn't know the situation and see how they perceive it. If I feel myself getting worked up, this usually helps me to find some clarity.

What he said!

Difficult one, that. I didn't know I was Autistic until last year. Now that I do, and can put a lifetime of abuse and bullying into perspective, I DO blame others for a lot of it! I certainly didn't beat thr crap out myself as a child. I certainly didn't slyly enjoy it, it was imposed on me against my will and despite me doing my utmost to be "good" and compliant, so hell yes I DO blame others for some of my experience.

We live in a dog eat dog culture, where if we do not hold others accountable for their actions, we will get endless *** simply for being ND, (even when they know you can't help it, it seems) and I didn't create that culture, so yes it is someone else fault for not including us in their planning.

But, hell yes, as a group we do need to take responsibility for ourselves, man up, and find workarounds for our limitations and find ways to make their system work for US for a change.

The OP is right that simply blaming others is no solution. We need to take our righteous anger and use the energy to make change.

I don't know that I agree. You can't fix a problem until you really know what a problem is. And sometimes there is a moment when after years of trying so many different things you realise you are not the problem. The situation you find yourself in is not merely indifferent to your aspirations it actively opposes them. And then you start quoting hamlet "To be, or not to be? That is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and, by opposing, end them?" Because if others really are to blame you have a choice, you can sit in a little pity party and give up trying to fix the broken things that frustrate you so. Or you can choose the path of conflict and 'take arms against a sea of troubles.' Maybe the real criticism we should have of ourselves as autistic people is not that we blame others for limiting our opportunities but that we've been too conflict adverse when they do.

That's the main theme of Jordan Peterson's lectures - self acceptance and self reliance - solve your own problems and stop blaming everyone else.

I believe strongly in this philosophy - I've had a lot of bad things happen to me over my life and I could get very angry - but it's ancient history so it seems a waste of energy.     

I'm also a great believer in Karma.     The world will equalise everything in the end.

After whatever setback, I just get up, dust myself off and move forwards - you all know my current situation - but I refuse to go out on my knees. 

here endth the lesson