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for all people suffering ,,,,,stop blaming others,,,,,,, zen

aidie

We humans can spend our life blaming other people , circumstances, or our bad luck and thinking about the way life should have been.

We can die that way if we want. That's our privilege, but it's not much fun.

We have to open up to the enormous game going on ( Life ),  that we're part of with all other humans, and species.

Until we see through the game that doesn't work ( blaming others ), we don't play the real game ( experience your life directly ).

Some people never see though it and die without ever having lived.

That's too bad.

Parents

  • I don't know that I agree. You can't fix a problem until you really know what a problem is. And sometimes there is a moment when after years of trying so many different things you realise you are not the problem. The situation you find yourself in is not merely indifferent to your aspirations it actively opposes them. And then you start quoting hamlet "To be, or not to be? That is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and, by opposing, end them?" Because if others really are to blame you have a choice, you can sit in a little pity party and give up trying to fix the broken things that frustrate you so. Or you can choose the path of conflict and 'take arms against a sea of troubles.' Maybe the real criticism we should have of ourselves as autistic people is not that we blame others for limiting our opportunities but that we've been too conflict adverse when they do.

  • in reply to Peter

    I feel culturally enriched from your reply peter, as well as agreeing wholeheartedly. I always dimly wondered what all that slings and arrows stuff was all about, as it appears so often. Great, I learned something!

  • in reply to I Sperg

    just to show you how far this is expected to go  ---- when the Tibetan monks while being tortured by their chinese guards would be polite to them and not blame them, not hold a grudge against them. "We are all one" prevails, we are all in the one big game together Slight smile

    I know its mind blowing

    somes days i "get it",,,  then another day i dont. I am trying to increase the number of "get it" days by applying this thinking it really changes the rest of your life

  • in reply to aidie

    In that respect, holding grudges won't change the actions of the guards, vengeance won't break the cycle either. Situations like that, blame is way too harmful.

    I suppose if blame is used, it should always be paired with reason. 'I blame you for this action, I wish you to acknowledge it and understand why I feel you are responsible so we can find a resolution and move forward'.

    Probably a hell of a lot better than 'I blame you and I hate you forever!'

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  • in reply to aidie

    In that respect, holding grudges won't change the actions of the guards, vengeance won't break the cycle either. Situations like that, blame is way too harmful.

    I suppose if blame is used, it should always be paired with reason. 'I blame you for this action, I wish you to acknowledge it and understand why I feel you are responsible so we can find a resolution and move forward'.

    Probably a hell of a lot better than 'I blame you and I hate you forever!'

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