Published on 12, July, 2020
I wondered wether there’s something in being on the autism spectrum and having reduced sexual desire-not come across anything in my reading yet so wondered what people’s experiences are? Oh and asking as a woman too. Thanks
Finding this thread interesting. The more Ive understood about my autism the more my responses to sex have made sense. Reading through everyones posts on here has been very enlightening. I though i would share some of mine and see if other people have had similar experiences
To begin with, as a few other people have mentioned, I think I use masturbation as a stim. It is a huge stress relief and I can feel the need to do it without feeling any particular need for sexual gratification
My relationship with actual sex has always been confusing. I have always had a huge sex drive and desire for sex but have often found the actual act of it an anti climax (pardon the expression) I remember the first time I did it my first thought afterwards was "Is this it? Is this really what everyone makes such a fuss about?"
However I still really wanted to do it again if that made sense. Does anyone else find oral sex (giving or receiving) less pressurised than actual intercourse? i always have
I have a very healthy sex life in my marraige but I still get anxious at the thought of having sex sometimes and if I am lacking in confidence or have had a stressful day or a panic attack I simply cant do it. I sometimes feel with sex that I am acting out what Ive seen in the movies and what other people do rather than doing what I actually enjoy if that makes sense?
does anyone else also find kinky sex less pressurised than ordinary sex? maybe thats just me
Sorry for rambling, its just helps me understand things better to talk to other autistic people about this stuff
I can relate to the acting part rather too strongly. I wouldn't even be fully conscious of it but I'd be relying on lines I'd learnt from more popular schoolmates a decade or more before, plus what I saw as attractive roles from films and adverts. Sadly, I assumed this was how it was supposed to be, those were the rules and I was getting better at playing them, judging by my "success" rate.
And so I became one of those manic pixie dream girl types - free, quirky, hypersexual with a strange kind of projected confidence to deflect from my underlying anxiety. Almost child-like, dancing on the beach in a fluttering scarf like the girl on the tampon advert or acting out what I saw as the sexiest scenes from "What's New Pussycat?".
In reality I was out of control though, desperate for a sense of real connection, and extremely vulnerable. I just thought I had to pretend not to be. :(
I can totally relate to this! I was like acting out a role too as this loud, laddish womanising type which everyone then thought was the real me. In reality I just wanted a nice girl to settle down with. I just couldnt admit that and my anxiety made me mask the real me as a defence mechanism
Im glad youve realised now though, so have I. no one should have to pretend to be anything but themselves.. I think the world expects us auties to fit into their way of doing things
Yeah or like when your down local or something. Ironically I don't think the majority of Autistic people I've met in my life exsactly come across the Alpha type myself included even though I'm 6ft and relatively big in stature but as far as my voice goes I dont exsactly sound macho or anything. Sure my dress sense and fashion is a little scary but hey that's cause I don't like people anyway so it's my way of saying back off and leave me alone. And I know nothing about cars and hate talking football even though I watch it. Like regular NT guy stuff has never apeald to me. In person I'm fairly softly spoken and ironically most people assume I'm gay due to the fact I lack testosterone and have a fairly artistic and unique fashion senses.