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Are you a parent?

M
over 3 years ago

I'm interested if other people are parents. I have two daughters, age 3 and 7. They are part of what prompted me to speak to my GP about autism as I found myself often being very blunt and cold towards them. My 7yr old told her dad that I love my dog more than her because I give it more attention. I do find stroking my dog soothing, whereas I really struggle with my children trying to grab me all the time. I also feel an aversion to their voices if they speak too loud or too much. It feels so horrible to say that as I do love my children. I can't stand being around young children generally because of the noises that they make, so it isnt just my own children. My 3yr old also told her childminder that I don't like her sitting on my knee, which is true but it sounds absolutely awful when she says it to other people so I just laughed it off. 

I dont want my children to think I don't love them. 

Parents
  • over 3 years ago
    M said:
    I also feel an aversion to their voices if they speak too loud or too much.

    "Made from silicone, Calmer sits barely visible in the user’s ear and cleverly reduces the ‘unpleasant’ audio frequencies known to cause most stress (think babies crying, children shrieking, traffic sirens and chairs scraping along hard floors), perfect for anyone who lives or works with children.

    The device offers a natural way to reduce today’s barrage of environmental noise stressors, and the negative impact they have on our mental and physical well-being. Calmer diminishes mid and high frequency distortions which trigger the human ‘fight or flight’ response. While experts say this response was a vital part of our evolution to alert us to the slightest sound or threat, it is an overactive mechanism in today’s modern world where we no longer need to be alert to the snap of a twig, and this added resonance is loading us with unnecessary stress.

    Living in the fight or flight mode for much of daily life results in increased cortisone levels, a reduced vagus nerve function, and high stress and anxiety levels.  We’re so used to the barrage of unpleasant audio bombarding our ears on a daily basis we don’t realise just how much these sounds put us on edge.  When first wearing Calmer you’d be forgiven for not noticing much change, but after wearing the device then removing it, you immediately see what a huge difference it makes.

    You can still hear every sound, but the unpleasant edge is taken off sharp noises. Calmer provides a mellowness; removing the anxiety inducing properties of our surroundings and resulting in a calmer environment."

    https://www.flareaudio.com/blogs/press/calmer-a-breakthrough-solution-for-school-and-home

  • over 3 years ago in reply to Deepthought

    Have you tried these? They come up on my targeted adds a lot but they seem expensive for something so small.

Reply Children
  • over 3 years ago in reply to M
    M said:
    The specsavers link says to not use ear plugs as it can make sensitivity worse.
    That seems to be a different strokes for different fo'kes sort of thing perhaps. 
    M said:
    I have ordered some of the flare ones so I will see how they go. 
    Hopefully they will work a treat or at least get you on the path to that which does, and obviously the more reports of what works can really help others suffering like yourself also.
  • over 3 years ago in reply to Deepthought

    The specsavers link says to not use ear plugs as it can make sensitivity worse. I have ordered some of the flare ones so I will see how they go. 

  • over 3 years ago in reply to M
    M said:
    Have you tried these? They come up on my targeted adds a lot but they seem expensive for something so small.

    I have not tried them as I learnt to filter sound myself by focusing on background noise and the spaces between words as a focal distraction ~ as I can when stressed get a bit overwhelmed by lots of different types and layers of sound overloading me rather than by frequencies so much, whereas you seem very much to suffer from what can referred to as misophonia, selective sound sensitivity syndrome, hyperacusis or some such. I have though met and written with others who have the very same issues you describe and hence me passing on suppliers for the sort of things they go for. 

    I did though phone a friend today who has a friend I have met who uses the much cheaper earbud options that cost between £3 to £6 from most chemists, which basically reduce the midrange (voice) frequencies very well apparently and make things in general more bearable ~ without costing loads and are not as such upsetting to lose or difficult to replace.

    Also such earbuds can be revitalised a number of times by washing them under a hot tap with antibacterial washing-up liquid, keeping in mind the earwax thing. I did not think to ask if the washing up liquid is an essential ingredient in the revitalisation process, or whether any antibacterial soap will work, but if I recall I will ask next time I get the opportunity.

    Here also follows a link listing from this site from other community members with hypersensitive hearing issues:

    community.autism.org.uk/search

    If you fancy an infranet trawl here with user feedback rather than on the great expanse of internet perhaps.

    Just as extra also ~ maybe read the following Specsavers advice on hyperacusis and how to deal with it potentially:

    https://www.specsavers.co.uk/hearing/ear-health/hyperacusis