Are you a parent?

The specsavers link says to not use ear plugs as it can make sensitivity worse. I have ordered some of the flare ones so I will see how they go. 

M said:

Have you tried these? They come up on my targeted adds a lot but they seem expensive for something so small.

I have not tried them as I learnt to filter sound myself by focusing on background noise and the spaces between words as a focal distraction ~ as I can when stressed get a bit overwhelmed by lots of different types and layers of sound overloading me rather than by frequencies so much, whereas you seem very much to suffer from what can referred to as misophonia, selective sound sensitivity syndrome, hyperacusis or some such. I have though met and written with others who have the very same issues you describe and hence me passing on suppliers for the sort of things they go for. 

I did though phone a friend today who has a friend I have met who uses the much cheaper earbud options that cost between £3 to £6 from most chemists, which basically reduce the midrange (voice) frequencies very well apparently and make things in general more bearable ~ without costing loads and are not as such upsetting to lose or difficult to replace.

Also such earbuds can be revitalised a number of times by washing them under a hot tap with antibacterial washing-up liquid, keeping in mind the earwax thing. I did not think to ask if the washing up liquid is an essential ingredient in the revitalisation process, or whether any antibacterial soap will work, but if I recall I will ask next time I get the opportunity.

Here also follows a link listing from this site from other community members with hypersensitive hearing issues:

community.autism.org.uk/search

If you fancy an infranet trawl here with user feedback rather than on the great expanse of internet perhaps.

Just as extra also ~ maybe read the following Specsavers advice on hyperacusis and how to deal with it potentially:

https://www.specsavers.co.uk/hearing/ear-health/hyperacusis

Have you tried these? They come up on my targeted adds a lot but they seem expensive for something so small.

M said:

I also feel an aversion to their voices if they speak too loud or too much.

"Made from silicone, Calmer sits barely visible in the user’s ear and cleverly reduces the ‘unpleasant’ audio frequencies known to cause most stress (think babies crying, children shrieking, traffic sirens and chairs scraping along hard floors), perfect for anyone who lives or works with children.

The device offers a natural way to reduce today’s barrage of environmental noise stressors, and the negative impact they have on our mental and physical well-being. Calmer diminishes mid and high frequency distortions which trigger the human ‘fight or flight’ response. While experts say this response was a vital part of our evolution to alert us to the slightest sound or threat, it is an overactive mechanism in today’s modern world where we no longer need to be alert to the snap of a twig, and this added resonance is loading us with unnecessary stress.

Living in the fight or flight mode for much of daily life results in increased cortisone levels, a reduced vagus nerve function, and high stress and anxiety levels.  We’re so used to the barrage of unpleasant audio bombarding our ears on a daily basis we don’t realise just how much these sounds put us on edge.  When first wearing Calmer you’d be forgiven for not noticing much change, but after wearing the device then removing it, you immediately see what a huge difference it makes.

You can still hear every sound, but the unpleasant edge is taken off sharp noises. Calmer provides a mellowness; removing the anxiety inducing properties of our surroundings and resulting in a calmer environment."

https://www.flareaudio.com/blogs/press/calmer-a-breakthrough-solution-for-school-and-home

lawrence said:

I have been autistic since a child but never diagnosed. My son is 15 and it seemed we had a loving relationship until recenty. Now I cant relate to him, he cant relate to me. I ask him to do somehting, he says no. I ask where somehting is, he ignores me or says something that gets me angry. I feel like a failure at being a dad.

Dude ~ you are as such totally succeeding as a dad, as your son's 'preadolescent' will-to-power has gone from wanting to be as big, strong and clever as you involving parental allegiance ~ to 'adolescent' will-to-power as involves being bigger, stronger and clever than you via teenage rebellion ~ as a precursor for individual autonomy, and making his own way into the world.

Basically the hypertensions and moods at home lead to staying at other peoples places and then their own place and all that and thereafter.

Anyway, rather than excessively stressing out about your sons teenage rebellion ~ get wise to it instead perhaps by reading the entirety of the following step-by-step stage-by-stage what and wherefor article:

Rebellion in Late Adolescence (15-18)

Many high-school rebellions I see occur as a result of delayed adolescence, the young person dramatically rebelling at last to liberate himself or herself from childhood dependency on parental approval for always being the "good child."

For example, only children are often slower to separate from parents because of strong attachment and protracted holding on by both sides. Finally in high school these young people, with graduation into more independence looming, may need to initiate late-stage rebellions to get the separation, differentiation, and autonomy they need to undertake this next momentous step.

This is painful and scary for parents. At this older age, risk taking can be more dangerous, while they miss the loss of closeness and compatibility with their son or daughter that they have enjoyed for so many years.

What parents need to remember at this point is that the young person is just as scared and pained as they are. So their job is to allow more independence while expecting commensurate responsibility, staying empathetic during disagreements, and providing calm and clear guidance about any significant risk taking that may going on.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/200912/rebel-cause-rebellion-in-adolescence

They aren't actually loud very often, I just don't like to hear them much more than anything. My friend has a little boy is ten times louder than my children and his voice seems to really make me wince. I don't like to be near him at all. 

I’m 21 and I have a 2 year old I get what you mean sadly we aren’t allowed pets so I can’t stroke anything but I often hate the sounds she makes still offer them hugs when you feel like it half the time kids don’t want allot of that well I can’t speak for all I guess it depends, I try and have fun with my little girl and explain about being loud it hurts peoples ears teach them that you have feelings to eventually they will see and understand xx

repeat post - reported

You can talk to us though and hopefully that helps. I think teenagers are difficult to communicate with at the best of times.

It is happening virtually in my area. I don't know whether this affects the quality of the assessment though. 

I hate being interrupted as well! So I feel that. I've found that how I treat my son, he treats me and maybe we're a lot alike. They do require much attention at a young age and I definitely struggled, so it's not easy. 

Are you able to chat to your son about other stuff - holiday planning, new car purchase or any other non-confrontational stuff?    What does he like?

I was told by my GP there are no diagnosis or testing for autism until after covid. Ive been waiting over a year

I have been autistic since a child but never diagnosed. My son is 15 and it seemed we had a loving relationship until recenty. Now I cant relate to him, he cant relate to me. I ask him to do somehting, he says no. I ask where somehting is, he ignores me or says something that gets me angry. I feel like a failure at being a dad. I feel bullied at work too. Lockdown so noone to talk to. I really dont know where to turn.