I just cant figure people out. I really cant. I dont try I mess things up, i try and mess things up.
Started off someone feeling underappreciated on a project so i bought her a bottle of wine and messaged saying will leave it for her (social distancing) and said it's a thank you for all you do. Well this caused offence and i was told to keep it! I apologised saying I'm sorry I meant it as appreciation and no offence. I've never said anything about her I barely know her but I was organising the work
Then upset someone I've known for 5 minutes. I'd cancelled plans the other night explained I get anxious meeting new people etc. Then she explained she understood and if I ever want to talk shes there. Was really nice. Today I've not seen her at all but someone i thought was a friend, her husband who's meant to help with a medical issue knew that I was meant to be working today (never met him and decided not to use him as I cant find his credentials) anyway he turns up and this new lady was there. He starts telling her about why I'd called him! ! Blatant data protection issue for a start. She said I'll stop you there and she messaged me saying he told me about your issue! (Nothing disturbing at all but I dont want to disclose for my identity) anyway the lady I hoped to be friends with said I need distance from you (meaning me) my potential new friend gone. I asked my husband to check my messages but nothing untoward.
I ended up in tears as I try so bloody hard but mess up. Why cant I have 1 friend? I'm honest, caring, kind. I get hurt alot
From what you say, you've done nothing wrong - but most people are just nuts - don't blame yourself for their insanity.
Hope you feel better.
I honestly dont think I've done anything wrong. I even asked my husband to read the messages and he couldnt figure it out either :( I'm awful at people skills it gets lonely
Never stop trying to be nice to people - a clear conscience makes it easier to live with yourself.
Do you know any nerdy/sciencey types? They're often more accepting and interesting to deal with.
I think NTs somehow pick up that we're different and often are harsh with us and just want us to conform. I've no idea how these people think you've deserved this treatment and you really don't. I can't see anything in what you did that is wrong.
Thank you Roswell. I've left nothing out in my initial message. I simply don't understand. I hate being different sometimes. Icant think the way they do. I'm so confused all of the time. I had a bad meltdown over this and wanted to hurt myself yet I havent let in to any if these people. This evening I had a glass of the wine I bought for the gift. I dont drink often but I thought why not. It's been a really strange day. Plus someone is shooting a shot gun every now and again! Its close by but we dont know who! Theres flats in our rd which have people from prison or on drugs now so that's making me nervous as it's getting to be an incident daily. I hate people
That's scary someone firing a shotgun. Maybe consider moving in the future if you feel it would help. Not sure if I live near people from prison or on drugs but I wouldn't want to, though to be fair some people who've left prison will have reformed.
I've just about reached the end of my tether myself with my living situation too. I'm looking to move soon, I'm thinking of paying more to live somewhere better and spending less on other stuff because I just want a better life. And considering moving into a much smaller property as long as it's in a better area.
Take care mouse2.
No matter where I live theres issues. I seem to be a beacon for the towns weirdos. So even though theres the awful ones, theres also really good neighbours which are hard to find! It's so hard. What issues do you have? X
Think of them as other people who also have a few issues. If you or I can get over it, they almost certainly can too. ;-) If not, well we're probably better off keeping our distance. Give them some space and time to consider. It might take a bit longer with some.
Maybe you're too nice in a sense, where people see a chance to take advantage. I used to regularly give 50p or a pound to a homeless person I'd see in the town here but some of them began to then bother me, and even up to the point where one beggar threatened to have me robbed when I refused to talk to him when I walked past.
When I moved into the flat I'm in now I tried being reasonably friendly with the neighbour and feel it ended up backfiring. He smokes cannabis (the only neighbour I know of involved in drugs though) and seems a bit fishy. His ex-girlfriend comes around sometimes and they have loud slanging matches lasting an hour, he's also at times had these over the phone. When another neighbour had a mental breakdown and was talking to himself loudly, this guy banged on his door and threatened to beat him up while shouting at him.
I told a neighbour in another block I thought I could trust about this and I think she told this neighbour because he started slamming the door whenever he saw me and having an angry look on his face.
Then the neighbour downstairs, no idea why, as I've never even spoken to him except to say "You alright?" in return to him as he does in greeting, but he slams doors constantly which gives me a feeling of claustrophobia and panic attacks. These flats are nice inside, all new kitchens and bathrooms and spacious, look better than most social housing and are right near a busy high street but it doesn't seem worth living here with people like this.
I'm deffinatly too nice. I have the point of view that we should help each other if needed and not do anything to hurt each other. I cant shake that. Your housing situation sounds awful. I'd be stressed too living there.