I just cant figure people out. I really cant. I dont try I mess things up, i try and mess things up.
Started off someone feeling underappreciated on a project so i bought her a bottle of wine and messaged saying will leave it for her (social distancing) and said it's a thank you for all you do. Well this caused offence and i was told to keep it! I apologised saying I'm sorry I meant it as appreciation and no offence. I've never said anything about her I barely know her but I was organising the work
Then upset someone I've known for 5 minutes. I'd cancelled plans the other night explained I get anxious meeting new people etc. Then she explained she understood and if I ever want to talk shes there. Was really nice. Today I've not seen her at all but someone i thought was a friend, her husband who's meant to help with a medical issue knew that I was meant to be working today (never met him and decided not to use him as I cant find his credentials) anyway he turns up and this new lady was there. He starts telling her about why I'd called him! ! Blatant data protection issue for a start. She said I'll stop you there and she messaged me saying he told me about your issue! (Nothing disturbing at all but I dont want to disclose for my identity) anyway the lady I hoped to be friends with said I need distance from you (meaning me) my potential new friend gone. I asked my husband to check my messages but nothing untoward.
I ended up in tears as I try so bloody hard but mess up. Why cant I have 1 friend? I'm honest, caring, kind. I get hurt alot
If it’s any consolation - I’m in a similar boat, it’s wearing me down so damn much that I don’t know how much more I can take.
People are so complicated arent they. Hopefully one day we will figure it out