Published on 12, July, 2020
I just cant figure people out. I really cant. I dont try I mess things up, i try and mess things up.
Started off someone feeling underappreciated on a project so i bought her a bottle of wine and messaged saying will leave it for her (social distancing) and said it's a thank you for all you do. Well this caused offence and i was told to keep it! I apologised saying I'm sorry I meant it as appreciation and no offence. I've never said anything about her I barely know her but I was organising the work
Then upset someone I've known for 5 minutes. I'd cancelled plans the other night explained I get anxious meeting new people etc. Then she explained she understood and if I ever want to talk shes there. Was really nice. Today I've not seen her at all but someone i thought was a friend, her husband who's meant to help with a medical issue knew that I was meant to be working today (never met him and decided not to use him as I cant find his credentials) anyway he turns up and this new lady was there. He starts telling her about why I'd called him! ! Blatant data protection issue for a start. She said I'll stop you there and she messaged me saying he told me about your issue! (Nothing disturbing at all but I dont want to disclose for my identity) anyway the lady I hoped to be friends with said I need distance from you (meaning me) my potential new friend gone. I asked my husband to check my messages but nothing untoward.
I ended up in tears as I try so bloody hard but mess up. Why cant I have 1 friend? I'm honest, caring, kind. I get hurt alot
Hey mouse2 so sorry your going through this, people can be butt heads, I come from a privilege position, I've worked in leisure and with public for a long time, so I'm conditioned to say hey how are you doing, smile at people.
Most of my clients I feel appreciate havnig someone to listen to them, or get on a subject we can have a good chat about.
But socialising with people hmm, tricky most times i just listen in ask questions, show genuine interest in people,
I find people warm to having someone show interest in them.
Now and again i get people checking in on me and asking me about me, I mostly say good, or if someone I know well talk about the hard things going on for me.
But now try to make an effort to look at the good things going on for me and share these with people , just being careful not to go too overboard and watch for when i'm losing peoples interest or get back on track with the conversation.
As a culture i feel its not cool for men to talk about their feelings.
Basically life seems overly compliacted, you have to have rules for each person, its exhausting.
Keeping talking seems you have friends here that will listen and have your back :)
Yes I think your right with rules for different people. I get confused and treat them all the same without thinking