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Battling with imposter syndrome

NAS64098

From reading a few posts on here it seems like this is pretty common but im struggling hard with feeling like a fraud while waiting for my assessment. Im doubting and second guessing whether i have asd or not and the not knowing is bothering me. Some times im absolutely convinced, other times im afraid its all in my head and im seeing things that arent there, this isnt helped by my anxiety issues

As the wait is so long i looked into going private and found a viable way to have an assessment within the next few weeks, but due to the feelings im having im hesitating to book the assessment as im afraid that i may not be asd and then i will have spent a large amount of money on the assessment for nothing. Particularly as i dont have an informant, so this could complicate the assessment. But the NHS list is extremely long and the wait may drive me crazy!

How do i get over these feelings? Im so confused what i should do

  • in reply to NAS65554

    Its kinda reassuring that this seems a common problem among us

    I just got back from my screening appointment, i met with a clinical psychologist and he went through my questionaires and did a screening interview.

    The result is he is pretty sure i have aspergers, and said if id gone through nhs i definately would have been put forward for a full assessment. Apparently as well as the things we talked about he got indications just from our interaction when he answered the door/hand shaking etc

    Its was kinda overwhelming to accept that its actually happening and there is more going on than just anxiety

  • Yes, I've been diagnosed three times and still often think I'm a fraud, or there's nothing wrong with me and I ''need to belt up and start being responsible and everything will be fine''. Don't worry about the informant thing, I didn't have one either, these people are professionals and know and understand  a lot, so they can work around that. The best thing you can invest in is yourself !

  • I don't think you ever get over these feelings, especially if you are good at masking :) 

    I've been diagnosed by a Psychiatrist and by a Psychologist team and I still cant quite believe my diagnosis.

    I know I am somehow different,  but I always assumed that I was a born worrier and shyed away from any stressfull social situations and always preferred to be self reliant. 

  • in reply to NAS64098

    That's good news! Hope the appointment goes well.

    Exactly - you might as well put your mind at rest one way or the other. At least you'll know for sure if you're autistic or not. Personally, I'm really hoping they diagnose me, because it'd explain so much about my life.

    Good luck with the screening appointment Slight smile

  • in reply to DuckBread

    Thanks both for your replies. Well i have heard that the waiting list is 2 years on NHS in my area, sooo i plucked up the courage and have a private screening appointment this saturday!

    Very nervous and still battling with the imposter syndrome but i guess i wont know until i try. I figured the screening apt will at least help me find out if i need a full assessment or not. Ill then decide about weather to go private for the assessment after ive had the results of the screening

  • I have the same feelings from time to time (I'm waiting for my assessment), but someone on this forum told me that nobody suspects they're autistic without very good reason - I found that comforting. Whether your experiences are related to autism or not, they're all real and valid. The way I see it, if I don't get a diagnosis, I'll always be wondering and I might miss an opportunity to get to know myself better.

    I hope you get your answers soon.

  • Sadly you have to sit out these feelings. I was driven to distraction by the same thoughts so in the end I stopped reading anything about it and just tried to put it out of my mind. I was not very succesful but it is a passing thing as one way or another you will find out at some point and this phase will be in the past. I'm sorry you are there now though - I remember the anxiousness well. I almost didn't go to my second appointment even as I'd convinced myself I was wasting everyone's time. I'm glad I did now.