ASD traits or ASD?

I have read this thread with interest. I too am female and mid-thirties. I haven't pursued a diagnosis yet. I am concerned that I've convinced myself im on the spectrum and if this happened to not be the outcome of the diagnostic process then i don't know what I would do. I certainly have traits. I just don't know where the line is between AS and non-AS. I also go through phases where I talk myself out of it. But it always comes back. I've tried to talk to two non-AS people about it to see how my processes and thoughts differ but quite often it's difficult to explain and get my point across. It's all there in my head but not in my mouth. Then they say "well i do that too". I try to say 'but how much of a problem is it to you?" to make them hopefully realise. 

Reading about AS yes there are parts of it which don't fit. I know a lot of info on AS seems to be about stereotypical autistic behaviours which I don't have but from reading different accounts of people who have been diagnosed, this has given me insight into other ways it can present. 

I don't know what I would get out of a diagnosis other than validation.  But that's a huge thing for me. Which is why it's a risk if I don't get that validation. I've read so much and can identify with so much of it, I am able to analyse my own thought processes and put coping strategies in place which have worked well.

Hang in there.  18 months is a long time but it'll come round eventually. Hope you get the outcome which is best for you.

I have read this thread with interest. I too am female and mid-thirties. I haven't pursued a diagnosis yet. I am concerned that I've convinced myself im on the spectrum and if this happened to not be the outcome of the diagnostic process then i don't know what I would do. I certainly have traits. I just don't know where the line is between AS and non-AS. I also go through phases where I talk myself out of it. But it always comes back. I've tried to talk to two non-AS people about it to see how my processes and thoughts differ but quite often it's difficult to explain and get my point across. It's all there in my head but not in my mouth. Then they say "well i do that too". I try to say 'but how much of a problem is it to you?" to make them hopefully realise. 

Reading about AS yes there are parts of it which don't fit. I know a lot of info on AS seems to be about stereotypical autistic behaviours which I don't have but from reading different accounts of people who have been diagnosed, this has given me insight into other ways it can present. 

I don't know what I would get out of a diagnosis other than validation.  But that's a huge thing for me. Which is why it's a risk if I don't get that validation. I've read so much and can identify with so much of it, I am able to analyse my own thought processes and put coping strategies in place which have worked well.

Hang in there.  18 months is a long time but it'll come round eventually. Hope you get the outcome which is best for you.

I know exactly what you mean about being worried they might say we don't have ASD. But I think that's also something I would like to know. So I could stop wondering and over analysing everything. I don't like uncertainty, I like knowing what is going on, and I feel like this is a big part of me and I should know one way or the other. That said if you are finding a way to analyse yourself in a way that helps that awesome!

One thing that has been bothering me recently which seems totally trivial is that I am in a very friendly working environment and every Monday, any time I bump into someone in the kitchen or when I arrive to a meeting, they ask me how my weekend was. And I hate this. Because every time this starts an avalanche of thought processes in my head. Are they saying this as a way of saying hi and therefore don't expect or want anything past "it was good thanks, and you?", if so and I start elaborating on my weekend will I annoy them? Or are they genuinely asking about my weekend, in which case if I reply "good thanks, and you" are they going to think I'm shutting them out and get offended? So I get really stressed and never know how to answer, so I usually go for the "good thanks and you" so it can be over with as quickly as possible but feel guilty about it.

I asked my best friend today (who I'm 100% sure is neurotypical) if she has the same thought process with that question, and she was just really confused and didn't understand my question, she said sometimes she asks to get a bit of info, sometimes she asks just to be polite. And I was like "but how are people supposed to know what you're expecting?" So clearly her mind is working differently than mine and she just gets a feeling for it, to the point that she doesn't even ask herself that question. She did give me some good advice though, she said I should ask them first and see how much detail they give about their own weekend. Then I'll know how much they're expecting. Or I could just pick a really short description, like: we went for a hike and enjoyed the sun. If they want to chat, they'll ask questions about it. If not, it wasn't too long. I feel much calmer about next week thanks to her.