Standing up to people

me too by the time iv understood iv been insulted times passed and its too late for me to do or say an think and when i have done after some time they normally lie about whats been said  or done to cover up , iv agonised over things for years not that im unforgiving which is what some have said its just i that i dont understand how people can sometimes treat others and not see what they do and i dont like being rude either i just cannot figure out how to reply in time so i am  trying  say to myself thats your problem either at the time or after im trying to figure out a way to deal with these issues so it does not  hurt me afterwards 

i feel same, agree with you. want peace and quiet , ... 

Exactly - and the law and its application in this instance is all available on-line - too late for them now - they're just too dumb.

Their actions have a knock-on effect for something they want to do in future - that requires our permission - which has now been withdrawn.   They lose.

I understand - you have to be careful what you share online. 

They sound very volatile. At least you know where you are from a legal standpoint.

I can't give details on here - but they have totally destroyed any possible relationship now.   I have now stated what the new rules are - on a purely factual & legal basis - (they tried to forcibly quote their legal position - incorrectly (typical clueless mouthy barrack-room lawyers) - we are perfectly within the law) - all good will is now gone.

They have shot themselves in the foot - big time.   

Their actions are based on a dumb knee-jerk for having their afternoon tv watching disturbed - no critical thinking involved.

I have stated that if we suffer any financial losses we will be recovering them via the small claims court.

I really thought they were better than that - typical aspie misjudgement of people's motives.   And why do they want to create misery in the last years of their lives for no reason?   Too stupid.

What have they done?

I've been really ill over it - totally unnecessary - we don't need them, they need us - and now all good will has gone - they're too stupid to understand the implications of their actions.    And how much it's going to cost them.

What a nightmare! Hope it resolves itself soon - it all sounds very stressful.

Sh** has hit the fan today - so we've now gone to volume 11 to convince them they are starting a war they cannot possibly win.   They have seriously F******d up.

The son sounds very annoying. Hope your weekend's going better

I also have this issue. In school I would just look down and feel awful but never said anything. Even as an adult the thought of confrontation brings me out in a cold sweat. Then I go over and over everything.

When I do get the courage to argue my point, it sometimes comes across as overly emotional or aggressive as I get so frustrated.

Well I too was defrauded out of £250,000 and should have taken the guy to court but instead tried to understand the matter and worked on computer artificial intelligence to change my negativity. Then I got arrested and had a life threatening cycle accident just before I was due in court. It’s all been terrible and I am now disabled and fighting autistic suicidal ideation thoughts.

so bad and unlucky things do happen and there isn’t always a good solution.

Thanks - they're not awful, just entitled old people who think they can control everything around them - and their nutcase son who tries to throw his weight around on their behalf.  This is a deviation to their dull lives and they've got nothing better to do but be outraged.     Wife has got them back-tracking and regretting their actions (she's good at people-wrangling) - see what happens in the morning.    It'll soon be done so it's just a bad experience I need to get through - then, as you say, get some peace & quiet for the weekend.

Your neighbours sound awful. It's good that the job will finish tomorrow - hopefully you'll get some peace and quiet when it's all done.

My best advice is to drink some water, have some food (if you haven't already), then go and lie down in a dark room, perhaps with a podcast or some music on to try and relax your brain. It sounds like you need some space and a break from all the stress.

Thinking of you - hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

It all went to Sh**.   Neighbours kicked off within 2 minutes of work starting.   I don't feel very well - blinding headache, heart racing, feel like I've run a marathon - wife had to go around and sort them out - they are threatening all sorts of things and hassling the contractor but they don't have a leg to stand on - and the job will be finished tomorrow lunchtime.     I just need to survive that long and then they can go **** themselves.    

I'm really tired but feeling wired because of the anxiety so I think I'll be up all night.   I really can't function with dealing with unreasonable people.

Hope everything goes okay with the contractor. It's not nice when you're so anxious that you feel physically ill too. Take good care of yourself and remember to take time out to relax when you can.

Hopefully you'll feel better once the tooth situation improves then :) xx

I can be like this too but since I've got older,  I tend to just lash out as I can't deal with kicking myself later for not doing so, I can't find a balance as of when or when not to stick up for myself 

I've gone the other way - I've spent so many years being bullied and manipulated when I wasn't able to do anything about it that my anxiety levels go through the roof in any high-stakes confrontation - to the point I feel faint like I'm going to have a heart attack.     I avoid it at all costs.    

I've got a contractor (stress) starting a job later that may cause problems with the neighbour (stress) and I'll be here alone to deal with any problems that may flare up.    I'm already feeling ill.

I did find it hard too :-). I had to call on all of my determination to live my life according to my values and needs, strengthened by the idea that I may only have 20 years of prime life (or life at all) left, and create a strong thought that I deserve to be able to stand up for myself.

My user name is a metaphor for being fed up with dancing to other people's tunes where I don't have to :-)