Standing up to people

I don't know if it's an autistic thing, but I definitely have a problem with this. Oddly enough, if I see/hear someone else being victimised/bullied, I will speak up and stick up for them. However, I find it much harder (often impossible) to stand up for myself. I was recently bullied at work and although I did eventually say something to the person in question and my manager, I made far too many allowances before getting to that point, and even then, I don't feel I did enough. I feel like they got away with it. Sometimes, it's a processing issue (e.g. by the time I've processed what the person's said, they've walked away and I've lost my chance to respond). Other times, I don't realise that I'm being victimised until after the event (e.g. when I reflect on it later, or when someone else points it out). I also hate being rude, so I'll sometimes refrain from standing up for myself if I can't think of a way to do so respectfully (even if they've been disrespectful to me).

I can fully relate to what you're saying about agonising over it for days or weeks. I'll often replay conversations and wish I'd spoken up or been stronger.

I'll stick up for others - no problem at all. I'm just not good at sticking up for myself.

me too by the time iv understood iv been insulted times passed and its too late for me to do or say an think and when i have done after some time they normally lie about whats been said  or done to cover up , iv agonised over things for years not that im unforgiving which is what some have said its just i that i dont understand how people can sometimes treat others and not see what they do and i dont like being rude either i just cannot figure out how to reply in time so i am  trying  say to myself thats your problem either at the time or after im trying to figure out a way to deal with these issues so it does not  hurt me afterwards 

me too by the time iv understood iv been insulted times passed and its too late for me to do or say an think and when i have done after some time they normally lie about whats been said  or done to cover up , iv agonised over things for years not that im unforgiving which is what some have said its just i that i dont understand how people can sometimes treat others and not see what they do and i dont like being rude either i just cannot figure out how to reply in time so i am  trying  say to myself thats your problem either at the time or after im trying to figure out a way to deal with these issues so it does not  hurt me afterwards