Standing up to people

Is it an autistic thing to find it so hard to stand up to people? If something happens I'll either be too scared to say something or not sure what's appropriate behaviour in said situation. After days or weeks of agonising I then am hard on myself for not saying or doing something 

Parents
  • Yes absolutely. I feel that almost the bravest thing I've ever done was to tell our neighbour that I could hear his radio too much; it took a long time for me to get to this point (being annoyed about it on several occasions over months) and when it came to me thinking "I *have* to do something about this as it's impacting on my life and isn't fair" my heart rate must have been upwards of 120 for 15 minutes before and after.

  • I did find it hard too :-). I had to call on all of my determination to live my life according to my values and needs, strengthened by the idea that I may only have 20 years of prime life (or life at all) left, and create a strong thought that I deserve to be able to stand up for myself.

    My user name is a metaphor for being fed up with dancing to other people's tunes where I don't have to :-)

  • Exactly - and the law and its application in this instance is all available on-line - too late for them now - they're just too dumb.

    Their actions have a knock-on effect for something they want to do in future - that requires our permission - which has now been withdrawn.   They lose.

  • I understand - you have to be careful what you share online. 

    They sound very volatile. At least you know where you are from a legal standpoint.

  • I can't give details on here - but they have totally destroyed any possible relationship now.   I have now stated what the new rules are - on a purely factual & legal basis - (they tried to forcibly quote their legal position - incorrectly (typical clueless mouthy barrack-room lawyers) - we are perfectly within the law) - all good will is now gone.

    They have shot themselves in the foot - big time.   

    Their actions are based on a dumb knee-jerk for having their afternoon tv watching disturbed - no critical thinking involved.

    I have stated that if we suffer any financial losses we will be recovering them via the small claims court.

    I really thought they were better than that - typical aspie misjudgement of people's motives.   And why do they want to create misery in the last years of their lives for no reason?   Too stupid.

Reply
  • I can't give details on here - but they have totally destroyed any possible relationship now.   I have now stated what the new rules are - on a purely factual & legal basis - (they tried to forcibly quote their legal position - incorrectly (typical clueless mouthy barrack-room lawyers) - we are perfectly within the law) - all good will is now gone.

    They have shot themselves in the foot - big time.   

    Their actions are based on a dumb knee-jerk for having their afternoon tv watching disturbed - no critical thinking involved.

    I have stated that if we suffer any financial losses we will be recovering them via the small claims court.

    I really thought they were better than that - typical aspie misjudgement of people's motives.   And why do they want to create misery in the last years of their lives for no reason?   Too stupid.

Children