Is it an autistic thing to find it so hard to stand up to people? If something happens I'll either be too scared to say something or not sure what's appropriate behaviour in said situation. After days or weeks of agonising I then am hard on myself for not saying or doing something
Yes absolutely. I feel that almost the bravest thing I've ever done was to tell our neighbour that I could hear his radio too much; it took a long time for me to get to this point (being annoyed about it on several occasions over months) and when it came to me thinking "I *have* to do something about this as it's impacting on my life and isn't fair" my heart rate must have been upwards of 120 for 15 minutes before and after.
Well done. I'd of found that so hard to do
I did find it hard too :-). I had to call on all of my determination to live my life according to my values and needs, strengthened by the idea that I may only have 20 years of prime life (or life at all) left, and create a strong thought that I deserve to be able to stand up for myself.
My user name is a metaphor for being fed up with dancing to other people's tunes where I don't have to :-)
Exactly - and the law and its application in this instance is all available on-line - too late for them now - they're just too dumb.
Their actions have a knock-on effect for something they want to do in future - that requires our permission - which has now been withdrawn. They lose.
I can't give details on here - but they have totally destroyed any possible relationship now. I have now stated what the new rules are - on a purely factual & legal basis - (they tried to forcibly quote their legal position - incorrectly (typical clueless mouthy barrack-room lawyers) - we are perfectly within the law) - all good will is now gone.
They have shot themselves in the foot - big time.
Their actions are based on a dumb knee-jerk for having their afternoon tv watching disturbed - no critical thinking involved.
I have stated that if we suffer any financial losses we will be recovering them via the small claims court.
I really thought they were better than that - typical aspie misjudgement of people's motives. And why do they want to create misery in the last years of their lives for no reason? Too stupid.
I've been really ill over it - totally unnecessary - we don't need them, they need us - and now all good will has gone - they're too stupid to understand the implications of their actions. And how much it's going to cost them.
Thanks - they're not awful, just entitled old people who think they can control everything around them - and their nutcase son who tries to throw his weight around on their behalf. This is a deviation to their dull lives and they've got nothing better to do but be outraged. Wife has got them back-tracking and regretting their actions (she's good at people-wrangling) - see what happens in the morning. It'll soon be done so it's just a bad experience I need to get through - then, as you say, get some peace & quiet for the weekend.
Your neighbours sound awful. It's good that the job will finish tomorrow - hopefully you'll get some peace and quiet when it's all done.
My best advice is to drink some water, have some food (if you haven't already), then go and lie down in a dark room, perhaps with a podcast or some music on to try and relax your brain. It sounds like you need some space and a break from all the stress.
Thinking of you - hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
It all went to Sh**. Neighbours kicked off within 2 minutes of work starting. I don't feel very well - blinding headache, heart racing, feel like I've run a marathon - wife had to go around and sort them out - they are threatening all sorts of things and hassling the contractor but they don't have a leg to stand on - and the job will be finished tomorrow lunchtime. I just need to survive that long and then they can go **** themselves.
I'm really tired but feeling wired because of the anxiety so I think I'll be up all night. I really can't function with dealing with unreasonable people.
I've gone the other way - I've spent so many years being bullied and manipulated when I wasn't able to do anything about it that my anxiety levels go through the roof in any high-stakes confrontation - to the point I feel faint like I'm going to have a heart attack. I avoid it at all costs.
I've got a contractor (stress) starting a job later that may cause problems with the neighbour (stress) and I'll be here alone to deal with any problems that may flare up. I'm already feeling ill.
I've gone the other way - I've spent so many years being bullied and manipulated when I wasn't able to do anything about it that my anxiety levels go through the roof in any high-stakes confrontation - to the point I feel faint like I'm going to have a heart attack. I avoid it at all costs.
I've got a contractor (stress) starting a job later that may cause problems with the neighbour (stress) and I'll be here alone to deal with any problems that may flare up. I'm already feeling ill.
Exactly - and the law and its application in this instance is all available on-line - too late for them now - they're just too dumb.
Their actions have a knock-on effect for something they want to do in future - that requires our permission - which has now been withdrawn. They lose.
I can't give details on here - but they have totally destroyed any possible relationship now. I have now stated what the new rules are - on a purely factual & legal basis - (they tried to forcibly quote their legal position - incorrectly (typical clueless mouthy barrack-room lawyers) - we are perfectly within the law) - all good will is now gone.
They have shot themselves in the foot - big time.
Their actions are based on a dumb knee-jerk for having their afternoon tv watching disturbed - no critical thinking involved.
I have stated that if we suffer any financial losses we will be recovering them via the small claims court.
I really thought they were better than that - typical aspie misjudgement of people's motives. And why do they want to create misery in the last years of their lives for no reason? Too stupid.
I've been really ill over it - totally unnecessary - we don't need them, they need us - and now all good will has gone - they're too stupid to understand the implications of their actions. And how much it's going to cost them.
Thanks - they're not awful, just entitled old people who think they can control everything around them - and their nutcase son who tries to throw his weight around on their behalf. This is a deviation to their dull lives and they've got nothing better to do but be outraged. Wife has got them back-tracking and regretting their actions (she's good at people-wrangling) - see what happens in the morning. It'll soon be done so it's just a bad experience I need to get through - then, as you say, get some peace & quiet for the weekend.
Your neighbours sound awful. It's good that the job will finish tomorrow - hopefully you'll get some peace and quiet when it's all done.
My best advice is to drink some water, have some food (if you haven't already), then go and lie down in a dark room, perhaps with a podcast or some music on to try and relax your brain. It sounds like you need some space and a break from all the stress.
Thinking of you - hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
It all went to Sh**. Neighbours kicked off within 2 minutes of work starting. I don't feel very well - blinding headache, heart racing, feel like I've run a marathon - wife had to go around and sort them out - they are threatening all sorts of things and hassling the contractor but they don't have a leg to stand on - and the job will be finished tomorrow lunchtime. I just need to survive that long and then they can go **** themselves.
I'm really tired but feeling wired because of the anxiety so I think I'll be up all night. I really can't function with dealing with unreasonable people.
