Published on 12, July, 2020
I walked 10 miles today until my legs and feet felt they would give way, that's the only way I could stop myself from screaming in despair.
While out walking I gesticulated wildly with my arms and hands and a few people laughed at me.
No surprises there. There isn't much compassion or intelligence in this world.
I saw Mark Lawrenson the football pundit chatting to his family then getting in his car and driving off, while on my walk.
Tried to talk to a few people but predictably NTs being NTs, they didn't want to as I was a stranger and I didn't follow the oh-so-stupid rules of small talk that are unbearable to me.
Now maybe this time will pass, in this moment this all seems so important, it's hard to believe I will ever find what I'm looking for, when at this juncture I feel this low.
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
All I feel right now is PAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
in head or where ?
The head. I called the Samaritans, they are eager to get off the phone, quite simply no one cares. I need someone to understand what this pain feels like. People don't want to. They can give advice but they can't feel it.