Was my Christianity one of my obsessions?

It's natural to question your faith as you grow and evolve over time. Many people go through periods of doubt and uncertainty, and it's okay to explore those feelings. Maybe it's worth taking some time for introspection and reflection, considering what truly resonates with you spiritually. Also, If you are interested,I recently came across some beautiful Christian wall art created by a small studio. Their work spreads God's message of love in a visually captivating way, and it might offer you some inspiration or comfort during this journey of self-discovery.

Initially it was to please my parents in the Irish Catholic culture of the time, then I moved out of the faith for a time in my teens when I found out I was gay, then after a time I came back to my faith, which because of my experiences in the gay world I discovered was stronger than ever 

Hmmm

I get it.
But it's about what YOU believe.
You will only ever live a Happy life following a non-pressure  Belief in yourself.
The fact you are questioning it would suggest your mind is being pulled Two ways.
Please yourself, not others.
It's YOUR life.

I can relate to questioning whether an intense interest was actually an obsession. For me, studying astronomy felt that way in high school. Looking back, I think I took it to an obsessive level. Getting an outside perspective from a trusted friend or pastor could help provide clarity. Sites like offer scriptural wisdom too. I once spoke to a friend who felt similarly about his youth ministry involvement. He said reflecting on Christ's teachings about love and grace helped him have self-compassion and move forward in a healthier way. Questioning can lead to growth if we approach it with humility and openness.

Do you have faith or were you just trying to please you parents ?

hehehe

I’ve had many of these conversations with friends who are enclosed Catholic Nuns and these questions of faith when discussed with them online I’ve found thier responses very useful in my own life, especially after my diagnosis 

Coming from a traditional Irish Catholic background, when I was growing up in the 1970’s and 1980’s Rural Ireland we were encouraged to have the “simple” (unquestioning) faith until I reached my teens and realising that I might be gay, looking at various scandals that were happening and various protests (I’ve always disliked those who hide behind religious teachings to justify thier own hateful attitudes just as much as hypocrisy and double standards to this day, on any side of these arguments on all issues) I’d taken my faith for granted and for a time, Id stopped going to Mass and Confession for a long time, then after various issues of non-acceptance with the gays in which Id cut all ties with and support for them, I came back to my faith just over 15 years ago, this time to the Traditional Mass in Latin of my grandparents generation, even though Id been born in 1970 after Vatican II - Id also taught myself to pray the Rosary in Latin and I found that it was the best thing that I ever did - to be “obsessed” with religion and with the eternal truths of the Christian faith is the best “obsession” to have as aside from anything else, it shows how some are weak in thier own faith and how some are not really as committed to thier faith as they ought to be, exposing the evil of thier hypocrisy 

If you are intelligent you will question everything and anything.  It’s a healthy sign of a mind.  Just because I question anything doesn’t mean I have to disengage. 
As a teenager I questioned my senses.

I had a feeling of derealisation- everything felt and seemed unreal - and the shocking sense of conviction shook me to the core: I was alone and imagining all and had been forever.  In that moment everything I ever knew seemed to dissolve.  I was left existing only as a sensor of anxiety. 
Maybe PSTD?

Who knows? 
Anyway: others are more aware if I’m hallucinating it all because they will sense their reality in a way that I can’t. 
Similarly: if my lack of faith is the delusion I won’t ever know that it is because only that whose existence I doubt can know its existence in the very way which is impossible for me. 

Sometimes one needs to change churches in order to reinvigorate one's faith as well as asking the Lord to flood one with the holy spirit and was out any dirt from the crevices that may be getting in the way of one's faith

I relate to this. I've had a couple of periods of intense Christian faith - devoted so much time to it. With hindsight I was always more interested in the scaffolding of the faith - liturgy, theology, worship, church politics - than I ever was about the faith itself. I'm kind of agnostic now and have other intense interests. 

I'm not a big fan of talking about this topic because I go to church alone every week, and for me, it's a pretty painful topic when I see that there are still people who use the name of the church and make a fuss. I care a lot about the Pentecostal church https://firstchurchlove.com because they taught me so much and helped me get through some challenging times when everyone turned their backs on me. That's why we don't have to take all people in general, because everyone is different in their way. I hope you understood me correctly and understand what I am talking about.

I like being part of the community but I can't stand sitting through boring 40 minute sermons.

I definitely had Christianity as an obsession during my late teens/early twenties (now in my early forties). So much so that I seriously considered training to be a vicar (even undiagnosed I realised this would be stretching my limited social skills too far!). I am still interested in Christianity but this interest has developed into an interest in all religions including Buddhism, Hinduism and Paganism. Although I can appreciate aspects of all religions I don't actually identify with any in particular. They can be a force for good in the world but also a motivator for terrible acts. I do still occasionally go to church though, as I appreciate the routines and it is an acceptable way to get some space and peace. I think it is good to question your faith. Do you feel a benefit from going to church? 

I'm very pleased that you asked this question! I've been 100% convinced in the Christian message twice in my life; once from age 18 to about 21, and again from about age 36 to 40. Each time I threw myself into it completely, leading church youth groups & playing guitar in church etc, giving testimonies .... but each time I researched theology so deeply that I could bore the legs off vicars and pastoral workers in church! 

So - I suspect it was "one of my obsessions" for me too - twice!