Published on 12, July, 2020
I am beginning to wonder whether Christianity was one of my obsessions when I was in my twenties? I am now forty and I still go to church but it is starting to feel like I go because that is what we do. It has became routine. I am questioning my faith and don't quite know what to do.
I'm very pleased that you asked this question! I've been 100% convinced in the Christian message twice in my life; once from age 18 to about 21, and again from about age 36 to 40. Each time I threw myself into it completely, leading church youth groups & playing guitar in church etc, giving testimonies .... but each time I researched theology so deeply that I could bore the legs off vicars and pastoral workers in church!
So - I suspect it was "one of my obsessions" for me too - twice!
I can relate to questioning whether an intense interest was actually an obsession. For me, studying astronomy felt that way in high school. Looking back, I think I took it to an obsessive level. Getting an outside perspective from a trusted friend or pastor could help provide clarity. Sites like offer scriptural wisdom too. I once spoke to a friend who felt similarly about his youth ministry involvement. He said reflecting on Christ's teachings about love and grace helped him have self-compassion and move forward in a healthier way. Questioning can lead to growth if we approach it with humility and openness.