People downplaying autism

My experience of suffering from neurological disorders per se (abi + autism) is that most people do one of 3 things in response to my displaying or description of my symptoms.

1. Trivialise “oh but you’re not THAT bad, I mean you can still do X”.
2. Normalise “Oh yeah, me too, I do that ALL the time”.
3. Invalidate “I think you’re making out it’s a lot worse than it is”.

I still haven’t managed to work out which one is more annoying

My experience of suffering from neurological disorders per se (abi + autism) is that most people do one of 3 things in response to my displaying or description of my symptoms.

1. Trivialise “oh but you’re not THAT bad, I mean you can still do X”.
2. Normalise “Oh yeah, me too, I do that ALL the time”.
3. Invalidate “I think you’re making out it’s a lot worse than it is”.

I still haven’t managed to work out which one is more annoying

they all are its a joke really when you think of it its game playing which im not into 

I'm pretty sure it's usually meant well, as a way of expressing solidarity / support, but it does *so* minimise what's going on:

Me: "I struggle to remember things that my brain doesn't naturally attach importance to": Other: "Yeah I know! It comes to us all as we get older!"

Me: "I can't bear to touch fine emery paper": Other "Yeah feels rough doesn't it " (Or, "Don't be silly!" - mother and ex-wife, separately and often)

"I can't hear what you're saying with all this noise in the background" -> "Yeah my hearing's getting like that a bit - age again!"

"I'm 95% sure I'm autistic" -> "I think we're all a bit, in one way or another"

"I've been diagnosed as autistic" -> "You're still the same person though & you've achieved so much! / You're coping really well / (It can't be that severe then)" (Yeah it nearly killed me)

"I find interacting with people face to face exhausting. I've always wondered why I can't do superhuman hours at work like others do" -> "Yeah those meetings do drag a bit don't they?"

"Now I've realised what's going on and given myself permission to be kind to myself, I've reached a level of stress that feels low to me but I now realise is the normal healthy level. Things like not travelling for meetings" -> "That's good, and who knows, you might be able to travel again one day! (get back to the normal person we knew, when you've recovered from your autism)"

"I'm feeling much happier nowadays mum, now I know what's going on; I understand why I hate travelling and interacting with people, and love my daily routine." -> "That's really good, we were *so* worried about you! Maybe you will come [hundreds of miles] and see us soon?"

"Could you please wash up as soon as you've finished cooking that [disgustingly smelly teenager food]?" -> "You don't have to be full-on Aspie all the time just because you've been diagnosed!"

I'm sure there are more. I'm thinking of writing a phrase book "Don't take it to heart, they mean well!" :-).

It is even more annoying when your own mother does all three, because they are a narcissist. By that I mean someone that downplays the abuse I suffered as a child and my condition, in order to accentuate and magnify their own abuse and condition to obtain sympathy.