Discovery 2 - Let's talk about communication

It sounds nuerotypical to me, just because most of my autistic friends could never in a million years achieve that level of communication but if I read it without that question in mind, I wouldn’t think anything, other than what it was saying, meaning it wouldn’t occur to me to guess who it could have been written by in terms of an nd or nt person, because how would you know, unless you asked them? 

I recognise the traits you listed. I recognise them in me as well, however, we (meaning you and I), tend to have a different way of relating to them. For example, you listed them as difficulties, whereas I don’t see them as difficulties, I just see them as autistic traits. And some of them, or the way you relate to them, or explain them, or rather the way I process/understand information, are confusing, to me, for example, who says you speak too loud and too fast?

How did they even work that out? I’m not sure that I understand that one. Are you saying that there is a speed limit in speaking and a sound limit? How did you find out about it? Who made this rule up and who conforms to it? Do you?

I’m guessing you’re not taking about when you are in places such as libraries etc, where people are asked to speak quietly, or maybe you are and that’s why it’s a difficulty, because you’re not able to talk in a quiet voice?

I can understand that, if that’s the case. I know some people who speak very loud, as their only volume, and who would struggle in a library or similar quiet place. So maybe that’s it? If it is, I understand, I would find that difficult as well. I am a loud speaker (not literally, lol) compared to most people but it’s not a problem because I can be quiet if needs be.

I don’t have any difficulty delivering monologues. Are you saying you have difficulty doing this and would like to improve on it?

Difficulty interpreting lies etc, I generally never do this but it’s not usually a problem for me.

I’m very blunt, honest and insensitive in regards to most people’s sensitivities so that’s how I come across. I don’t think it’s that I’m interpreted that way so much as, I am that way, so I’m not sure what you’re saying. Are you saying your not blunt or insensitive but that  people interpret you that way and that’s a problem for you, because you’re not, it just seems like it? And I’m guessing people don’t like it and you want them to like you so that’s why it’s becoming a problem for you and they won’t believe you when you say you’re not being blunt or insensitive? It all sounds a bit tricky. I think life is much easier when you are blunt and honest, but of course I would say that, lol, being of the blunt and honest variety myself.

I never know if people are being rude or kind to me, lol. I say I’ve only been bullied three times in my life but it could have been happening a lot more than that for all I know, stuff like that goes right over my head, so I don’t know who’s being nice or not, but I don’t see it as a problem, although I am wising up a bit in some ways so I can spot stuff happening, but I see learning to do that more as a benefit than a problem.

I have the other traits that you have also, but again, I don’t see them as problems. I guess it’s because I kind of see them as part of who I am, like they’re part of my identity or something, so for me to see them as problems, it would be like saying I’m a problem because I see them as part of who I am. And I’m learning how to change the ones that cause me distress, such as catastrophic ocd thinking etc. I guess I just see them as part of who I am so of course I don’t therefore see them as problems. 

Yes, I have been told to "slow down" and I am often asked to be quiet at work, due to people trying to concentrate or talk to a customer on the phone. I'm not loud all the time, but when I'm excited/highly interested in something/trying to join in with jokes or 'banter" I get louder without realising it, and then feel bad that I've disturbed some people trying to work. 

I don't have any trouble delivering monologues, quite the opposite. But as I've got older I've learned to read the "glazed over" expression that says a polite person is no longer listening. And at work if I start to talk at length about a special interest the guys will say "oh, here she goes again!'

If I respond without thinking, sometimes I get told "that's not very nice' (although usually said with a grin) - sometimes I have to explain that I didn't mean to offend or I was trying to make a joke which failed.

None of these are really "problems", just social faux Pas which make me feel a bit awkward, but the people I work with are not unkind. I described them as "difficulties" because that's how NT profiles of autism describe them, and other people I work with don't exhibit these behaviours like me. But yes, it is just a difference, which is what autism is all about.

All of these points are very much the same with me.  I can get louder without realising it.  I can also get so engaged with it that I miss other things going on, or it can get out of hand in some other way so that someone has to say 'Steady on' or 'I think that's enough of that' or 'Okay, maybe we should rein it in now.'  I'm also very quick-witted when it comes to something someone has said and I'll come up with some rejoinder that will get people laughing.  Especially if it's innuendo.  I can then come out with something that can be quite rude or smutty and raise some eyebrows.  But my brain doesn't filter things out in that way, and I say it before I even realise.  I'm always looking for double-meanings.  It's one of the things I love about words, all the ambiguities and flexible meanings.  I am also a bit of a film buff, and the other day at work we had a huge delivery of donated DVDs to sell at a fete.  There was maybe 2,000 of them.  I got completely carried away going through them and making recommendations to some of my co-workers, many of whom hadn't seen most of the films I dug out.  In the end someone came up to me and smilingly said 'Alright, I think we have enough recommendations now.'  I thought he was just kidding and carried on for a few more minutes, until he came up with a stern face and very firmly said 'Can you STOP now, please.'  I was like a child in a toy shop though and had been off in a world of my own.  When he said this, though, I looked up and saw that some of the others were sniggering about me.

All of these points are very much the same with me.  I can get louder without realising it.  I can also get so engaged with it that I miss other things going on, or it can get out of hand in some other way so that someone has to say 'Steady on' or 'I think that's enough of that' or 'Okay, maybe we should rein it in now.'  I'm also very quick-witted when it comes to something someone has said and I'll come up with some rejoinder that will get people laughing.  Especially if it's innuendo.  I can then come out with something that can be quite rude or smutty and raise some eyebrows.  But my brain doesn't filter things out in that way, and I say it before I even realise.  I'm always looking for double-meanings.  It's one of the things I love about words, all the ambiguities and flexible meanings.  I am also a bit of a film buff, and the other day at work we had a huge delivery of donated DVDs to sell at a fete.  There was maybe 2,000 of them.  I got completely carried away going through them and making recommendations to some of my co-workers, many of whom hadn't seen most of the films I dug out.  In the end someone came up to me and smilingly said 'Alright, I think we have enough recommendations now.'  I thought he was just kidding and carried on for a few more minutes, until he came up with a stern face and very firmly said 'Can you STOP now, please.'  I was like a child in a toy shop though and had been off in a world of my own.  When he said this, though, I looked up and saw that some of the others were sniggering about me.