Published on 12, July, 2020
I've just realised, partly from coming on here and reading some of the threads and partly from getting my diagnosis I have more confidence than I realise.
It relates to just saying No, I still struggle greatly with arguing my point in a discussion and often crawl back into my shell but now if I'm asked to do something I don't agree with or go on a works night out and I don't want to go I now just say no, when I'm asked why I say because I don't want to. This has just come as a revelation, whats more people dont even bother to question it any more because well you just can't argue with No!
Or maybe I care less what they think? I don't know but I'm seeing it as a positive step forward.
Does anybody else get this?
I know what you mean about inappropriate laughing, through my job I've overcome this but otherwise yes its my default reaction, don't know why, maybe nerves? As far as somebody I care about being seriously injured or worse still killed, yea its a physical pain which I can't describe, I think you gave a pretty good description though. The way I see it is, we feel it deeply maybe more deeply than an NT we just can't verbalize or label it, and so NTs see us as cold and insensitive but truth be known, we feel things more than they do only we can't demonstrate or verbalise it.
My facial expression if I have one are either faked when I have to pretend to be proud of someone or not matching the situation. I remember a few years ago there was an accident on the road where somebody had crashed into a lamppost on a bike. When I first found out I burst out laughing and the guy had died.
I know kind of what I’m feeling but I can’t classify them because they seem to be multiple emotions mixed together and I can’t explain it. I use music to help with my emotions, I listen to therapy session by NF as it reflects the inner fire that’s inside me.
my emotion is often triggered by others like when it was my great grans funeral ( she was the nicest person ever ) I just felt neutral but then I turned and saw my dad and nan crying and I instantly turned to hug my mum. I didn’t cry cause it takes a lot more to force a tear from me but I felt like I’d been stabbed very hard in my chest, not repeatedly just one long deep puncture into my right lung.
Yea I have a permanent face like a slapped ass expression, even if I'm happy.
Same here, I've had work asking me to label how I feel and I can't, I know happy sad good bad but in between I'm lost. I feel it but just can't explain it.
I never know what I'm feeling so I don't tell people anything. I think I know situations when you're supposed to be angry / sad / happy etc but I don't ever feel these things. I only really feel emotions through music. Does anyone else struggle with their facial expressions? When someone tells me bad news, I end up having to try and hide smiling. I have no idea why. I know it's the worst thing to smile but for some reason my face just does it!
Do you tell people around you what you feel, it’s doubly hard for me because I’m alexithymic so letting my feelings known is one thing and explaining them is another.
I've thought some more. I guess If it's somebody I trust then I'd probably say yes, If its somebody I wasn't sure about then I think I'd start making excuses again, seems like one step forward 2 steps back doesn't it
Yea Im not sure about that? borrowing my stuff Id probably be like you, I've not got that figured yet, food for thought, thanks.
I try to limit the questions asked by others around me so they don’t find the truth about how I really feel as it would be difficult to deal with if they new how sh*t I feel sometimes
I’m really confused with myself because if it’s something I don’t want to do like you I will just say NO but if it’s something like someone wants to borrow something of mine I can’t help but say yes even though I really don’t want them to touch my stuff.
I suppose it’s because I don’t want to be questioned, it’s like when people ask if I’m ok. I will always say I’m fine even if i’d Been having certain bad thoughts a short time before.
Same its a revelation isn't it. Although hats off to you I think my mum is probably the one person I'd struggle to say no to. Hope you are feeling better now I know panic attacks can be awful
Same here. Some people here have inspired me. I love my mother dearly but today I agreed to meet her at midday but had a panic attack when I went out prior to our arranged meeting. So I ended up leaving the scene and I told her I couldn't cope so couldn't meet her. I don't think I could have done that without people here showing me that it's okay to be myself. I love my mother so much so I never want to disappoint her. But I guess people here taught me I have to look after my own needs as well.
It is but that little word No! really helps and I am beginning to not give a f**K what others think. It's quite liberating, hope it lasts....
YES as it is difficult in trying to please/help everyone and not helping yourself