Published on 12, July, 2020
I've just realised, partly from coming on here and reading some of the threads and partly from getting my diagnosis I have more confidence than I realise.
It relates to just saying No, I still struggle greatly with arguing my point in a discussion and often crawl back into my shell but now if I'm asked to do something I don't agree with or go on a works night out and I don't want to go I now just say no, when I'm asked why I say because I don't want to. This has just come as a revelation, whats more people dont even bother to question it any more because well you just can't argue with No!
Or maybe I care less what they think? I don't know but I'm seeing it as a positive step forward.
Does anybody else get this?
I’m really confused with myself because if it’s something I don’t want to do like you I will just say NO but if it’s something like someone wants to borrow something of mine I can’t help but say yes even though I really don’t want them to touch my stuff.
I suppose it’s because I don’t want to be questioned, it’s like when people ask if I’m ok. I will always say I’m fine even if i’d Been having certain bad thoughts a short time before.
That is my problem in Work, everyone knows me for my knowledge and when they need help then come to me. The Bully says to stop and it is up to me to do as I am told. The local manager says it is up to me to decide if I can help or not. I am verbally reprimanded again for not doing as I am told (I am confused by the contradictions and which manager I need to listen to). Plus they will not communicate this to the business and have reprimanded me for telling everyone.
Then they wonder why my mood in through the floor and my head is a complete mess.
Yea Im not sure about that? borrowing my stuff Id probably be like you, I've not got that figured yet, food for thought, thanks.
I try to limit the questions asked by others around me so they don’t find the truth about how I really feel as it would be difficult to deal with if they new how sh*t I feel sometimes