Published on 12, July, 2020
I think it's fair to say that the post diagnosis adjustment process has kicked in big style. My adrenaline levels have been getting higher the last couple of weeks but today they're very high. Just feeling all stressy and agitated. I've been trying to divert the energy into housework which is a distraction but hasn't really helped too much. Think I might go to the GP tomorrow and ask for something short term just to take the edge off of things. I can't stand any noise at the moment, it's just completely doing my head in. Half term isn't helping! My brain is so all over the place at the moment, it just feels really fragmented, I'm struggling to even gather my thoughts enough to write something vaguely sensible on here. What have other people found helpful when they've been going through similar?
I get where your coming from. I go through phases when I feel like this. I've always said I want a pensieve from Harry Potter so that I can take my thoughts out my head and look back at them later if i need to. If only!
I don't so much struggle with adjusting to the diagnosis. I had an idea for most of my life so it was never a shock. But there are things I'm having challenges with at the moment and I know that most people would not be as upset about them as I am. So the realisation that autism is forever and I'm always going to find small things challenging has hit me a bit this week.
Films and books are my go to at times like this. An escape to another world. I like to retreate to my room and curl up in bed. I know this is difficult when you have a family. Hopefully you can get some more you time when the kids are back in school. I do also find posting on here helps. Sometimes just putting some thoughts out there can be really helpful.
Going to the gp is probably a good idea if you are really struggling.
Wouldn't that be amazing if we could just remove our thoughts from our head! what an amazing idea! That would help me so much sometimes!
Yeah, I'm finding it difficult that I'm not just going to be able to 'snap out of it', it's here to stay.
My go to when I'm really stressed is to get in the car, turn the music up full whack (don't ask how I can be in a state where most noises are irritating but my own music turned up full blast is good!) go for a drive and daydream away.
Yeah the GP is on my hit list for tomorrow. I need to have something as back up if this anxiety/agitation is planning on hanging around for a while.
when I was 13 a member of staff and his 19 year old son beat me at the local leisure centre, properly beaten up. Guess what - the Police abused me phychologically then too. Physical abuse by a staff member in the form of punches and kicks to the head and body then police side with the adult who abused the child - me. The guy who did it was also a martial arts teacher for local kids and is still around today. I often see the old bully’s in my nasty small town. Most of them look as if they’re about to have a heart attack - old aged and look in pain. There’s no need to report them on historical abuse charges becasue they are walking pieces of pain
Honestly NTs with a bit of power are sick individuals.
I was listening to the radio yesterday about how the police are paid to rape
He hit you round the head with a piece of wood an the police took his side! That;'s terrible!
it's weird isn't it. I guess though that people chatting when I'm trying to concentrate is annoying because it's distracting but if I'm listening to my own music it helps me to get 'in the zone' and that is actually helpful
I know it’s a generalisation but it seems that a lot of building type people are ex school bullies
The attack was noise related..
I complained about noise levels at a building site - quite firmly as they were flouting the local laws regarding early morning machinery being used. The guy literally picked up the nearest piece of wood and without warning - swiped it fully round my head. To his disbelief - it snapped in half and I stood like a mountain.
Of course - at that point I exploded and there was a full on brawl. Him in PPE - steel boots etc, me in my pants, and nothing else.
I should’ve took it in the head literally and called the police but I defended myself. Turns out that they are local gypsy folk.
When the police arrived they took his side. I think the fact that I wasn’t dead or unconscious, meant that they simply didn’t believe me.
I have been meditating for almost thirty years obsessively really - I believe that’s why the wood snapped in half. I do a Standing Tree quigong practice too.
Spirtual enlghtenrment is the only way I believe but post diagnosed - it almost feels like, as you said, I’m a confused boy again. I’ve only done one session of quigong since my diagnoses. Thoughts race soooooooo much that it’s tricky
Kitsune - I can be similar to you - chitchat in the proximity of my desk is distracting/annoying, conversations are hard in busy places (trying to focus on the conversation when something louder drowns it out behind like hearing aids and possibly voices in your head - psychosis).
Get me in that car/house/venue, crank it up to 11 (Spinal Tap) and Party (singing along to the tunes and pets). I can do it in work, drowning it out with my earphones, but no singing.
For me it’s not so much the road rage side of things. But I have a white van so - folk just rage at white vans it seems. Even though it’s a camper van.
Im actually aching to hit the road to a far off uk arm, northwards as far as the road goes to Dunnet Head and the most amazing Point Of Ness
Other drivers can be a pain! They just have own agenda, to get where they want to get as quickly as possible, a bit like me to be fair. I can see how conflicting interests on the road could lead to trouble.
Sorry to hear that you were attacked! What happened?
Mostly because it feels as soon as I hit the road I get surrounded by angry people looking to hinder progress.
Folk are sooooooo infuriated at the mo!
I was attacked a while ago too - attempted murder. Of course - it was all my fault. Even though I had a wound to my head from where the 2x2 plank landed. The police took the side of the attacker.
I feel like I’m surrounded by evil bully’s
like - everywhere
Oh no! Why are you worried to drive your car?
Yeah I could do with a functional magic wand tight now :-)
I think that is the thing with noise, if other people are making it it annoys me but if I’m causing the noise then it’s ok.
My motor is sitting on the drive and has been since November. I’m too worried to drive it now.
I know. I've been obsessed with the idea since I first read the books. It would be the perfect solution for me. Pity theres not actually such thing as magic.
A drive is a good idea. Alone time is really important I think. It is for me anyway. I like music to drown out things too. I actually hate silence. Noise that you can control is different to noise you have no control over.