Really struggling to handle things

I think it's fair to say that the post diagnosis adjustment process has kicked in big style. My adrenaline levels have been getting higher the last couple of weeks but today they're very high. Just feeling all stressy and agitated. I've been trying to divert the energy into housework which is a distraction but hasn't really helped too much. Think I might go to the GP tomorrow and ask for something short term just to take the edge off of things. I can't stand any noise at the moment, it's just completely doing my head in. Half term isn't helping! My brain is so all over the place at the moment, it just feels really fragmented, I'm struggling to even gather my thoughts enough to write something vaguely sensible on here. What have other people found helpful when they've been going through similar?

  • when I was 13 a member of staff and his 19 year old son beat me at the local leisure centre, properly beaten up. Guess what - the Police abused me phychologically then too. Physical abuse by a staff member in the form of punches and kicks to the head and body then police side with the adult who abused the child - me. The guy who did it was also a martial arts teacher for local kids and is still around today. I often see the old bully’s in my nasty small town. Most of them look as if they’re about to have a heart attack - old aged and look in pain. There’s no need to report them on historical abuse charges becasue they are walking pieces of pain 

    Honestly NTs with a bit of power are sick individuals. 

    I was listening to the radio yesterday about how the police are paid to rape 

  • Try Don Fiore quigong on YouTube. 

    Its the easiest to follow instructional ive found in the last 30 years or so. Don Fiore 4 minute Quigong. 

    Love to post it here but this forum can’t do video - OMG :(

  • He hit you round the head with a piece of wood an the police took his side! That;'s terrible! 

  • it's weird isn't it. I guess though that people chatting when I'm trying to concentrate is annoying because it's distracting but if I'm listening to my own music it helps me to get 'in the zone' and that is actually helpful

  • I'm getting eye strain from examining the telly!

  • I know it’s a generalisation but it seems that a lot of building type people are ex school bullies

  • The attack was noise related.. 

    I complained about noise levels at a building site - quite firmly as they were flouting the local laws regarding early morning machinery being used. The guy literally picked up the nearest piece of wood and without warning - swiped it fully round my head. To his disbelief - it snapped in half and I stood like a mountain. 

    Of course - at that point I exploded and there was a full on brawl. Him in PPE - steel boots etc, me in my pants, and nothing else. 

    I should’ve took it in the head literally and called the police but I defended myself. Turns out that they are local gypsy folk. 

    When the police arrived they took his side. I think the fact that I wasn’t dead or unconscious, meant that they simply didn’t believe me. 

    I have been meditating for almost thirty years obsessively really - I believe that’s why the wood snapped in half. I do a Standing Tree quigong practice too. 

    Spirtual enlghtenrment is the only way I believe but post diagnosed - it almost feels like, as you said, I’m a confused boy again. I’ve only done one session of quigong since my diagnoses. Thoughts race soooooooo much that it’s tricky 

  • - I can be similar to you - chitchat in the proximity of my desk is distracting/annoying, conversations are hard in busy places (trying to focus on the conversation when something louder drowns it out behind like hearing aids and possibly voices in your head - psychosis).  

    Get me in that car/house/venue, crank it up to 11 (Spinal Tap) and Party (singing along to the tunes and pets).  I can do it in work, drowning it out with my earphones, but no singing.

  • If you have a smart phone, I have been using Headspace most and never tried Calm once I started the former.  Note - only use the free elements of these apps otherwise it can soon mount up.

  • A new thing I learnt - Rectangle breathing lol (oops I'm confusing Bookworm - I do that a lot with people until they realise how eccentric I am especially as my stress/anxiety fluctuates)

  • For me it’s not so much the road rage side of things. But I have a white van so - folk just rage at white vans it seems. Even though it’s a camper van. 

    Im actually aching to hit the road to a far off uk arm, northwards as far as the road goes to Dunnet Head and the most amazing Point Of Ness 

  • Other drivers can be a pain! They just have own agenda, to get where they want to get as quickly as possible, a bit like me to be fair. I can see how conflicting interests on the road could lead to trouble. 

    Sorry to hear that you were attacked! What happened?

  • I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve been in a similar state for about 10 months. Yeah yesterday I was wondering: so why did I actually seek this diagnosis again? 

  • Mostly because it feels as soon as I hit the road I get surrounded by angry people looking to hinder progress. 

    Folk are sooooooo infuriated at the mo! 

    I was attacked a while ago too - attempted murder. Of course - it was all my fault. Even though I had a wound to my head from where the 2x2 plank landed. The police took the side of the attacker. 

    I feel like I’m surrounded by evil bully’s 

    like - everywhere 

  • Oh no! Why are you worried to drive your car?

  • Yeah I could do with a functional magic wand tight now :-) 

    I think that is the thing with noise, if other people are making it it annoys me but if I’m causing the noise then it’s ok. 

  • I’m considering getting some MDMA rather than potions from the doctor. The way one of the doctors was talking about prescribed drugs..? Well - he sounded like a salesman peddling wares for his pharmaceutical company. 

  • My motor is sitting on the drive and has been since November. I’m too worried to drive it now.

  • I’ve been pretty much in this state for ten months. 

    Getting diagnosed...? Possibly the worst thing I’ve ever done! 

    Harder than grieving for death of both parents. MUCH harder. It’s like a family Death that nobody gives a shite about! Then ‘they’ abandon you! 

  • I know. I've been obsessed with the idea since I first read the books. It would be the perfect solution for me. Pity theres not actually such thing as magic.

    A drive is a good idea. Alone time is really important I think. It is for me anyway. I like music to drown out things too. I actually hate silence. Noise that you can control is different to noise you have no control over.