Published on 12, July, 2020
I sometimes find other people's perceptions of a situation absolutely baffling. And a recent situation is really bugging me because I really don't see how the other people's point of view made sense yet I was on my own with my point of view so evidently once again its me with the issue.
I'm quite protective of my possessions. They are very important to me. I guess this is an ASC thing. Because of this, I HATE lending people things. However, I found myself in a situation where a friend wanted to read a book I'd just read and asked if they could borrow it. I said they could even though I didn't really want to because I didn't want to appear like I was being awkward. She read the book and then said another friend who I also know had wanted to read it so she would pass it on to her. I was a bit uneasy about this but nothing I could do.
I let time go by for a bit and heard nothing about the book so asked the second friend if they'd read it yet. She said the first friend never gave it to her. I asked the first friend the next time I saw her. There was a group of us. She was very offhand and didn't seem to know whether she still had it or not. As the conversation went on, she quite bluntly said "Well did you want it back?" I said "Of course I did because it was mine." She seemed baffled by this. Someone else said "Well you're never going to read it again." And then another person said "If I leant someone a book, I'd just expect them to keep it."
My mind at this point was just repeatedly going "It's mine! It's mine! It's mine!" I couldn't even slightly understand their point of view at all. They didn't see why I had an issue with the situation. Am I the only one baffled by this situation? And does anyone else find themselves in these situations where there point of view is different but the other people's point of views make absolutely no sense?
And does anyone else find themselves in these situations where there point of view is different but the other people's point of views make absolutely no sense?
Well... I guess that's how the world is! A communist will never understand the thinking of a capitalist, and vice-versa. Likewise, a Christian with an atheist. It would be a pretty dull world, too, if everyone thought the same way. But I know what you mean. When I see injustices being carried out, and then people supporting it, it makes no sense.
I'm not good at arguing my corner on an issue if I'm with other people - even if it's something I know a bit about. I don't really have the courage to play through my convictions. Some people make their position very clear a lot of the time - like one chap I once worked with who took every opportunity to criticise anyone left-leaning in politics. I prefer not to get into those kinds of discussions if I can help it. Also, I've tended to end up in all sorts of knots when trying to explain a position and not doing it very well. Or I end up saying something I don't actually mean, then confusing myself. There's an art to it, and I don't have it. Even with the written word, which is my chosen form of communication. Misunderstandings about meaning can so easily happen. Often, it's because I simply haven't thought things through properly. In the week at work, one of the clients I was chatting to started leading off against the French - so I hastily changed the subject! Those are usually very difficult conversations to navigate without things becoming heated!
Ye I was thinking more the small every day sort of situations when I wrote that rather than bigger things like religion. It's not that I expect everyone to think the same but I do find a variety of beliefs etc fascinating as to how differently people can think. I find it really weird how often I seem to be the only one in a situation that sees things a certain way. In my diagnostic report my assessor wrote that I have significant difficulty mentalising (theory of mind) so I guess it's not surprising I find situations like this very difficult.
Yeah, sorry, I tend to get off topic easily. I do experience being the odd one in the room quite frequently. Like last week a colleague asked me what I thought about a pair of trainers, I just said they look like any other pair or trainers, at which point everyone chimed in with "how can you say that, they're *insert brand name which I've forgotten* " bear in mind I work with men. I thought it was just women that talked about shoes all day! Anyway, apparently I was odd for pointing out that all trainers are the same. Also, why would you ever need more than one pair? Haha, people can be very confusing at times.
See I don't mind spending money on clothes I know I will wear over and over again because to me this is worth the money. I have a massive issue with having to spend money, usually a lot of money on something smart which I'm not actually going to like, or find comfortable or want to wear ever again because it makes other people happy.
When my brother got married, I was chosen as best man. So I had to go and buy a suit, which I couldn't really afford because I was unemployed at the time. I remember it cost me £80, and this was in the early 1980s. I couldn't hire one because of my very 'not off-the-peg' dimensions. I still have that suit (and it still fits!). But I've hardly ever worn it since.
This makes far more sense to me. Even though I wont wear dresses. Like people remember what you wore unless it was something really unusual. And in all honesty, why on earth does it matter if you wear an outfit to more than one special occasion.
I have one dress that I wear for all occasions. I went to 6 weddings last year. No one made a comment, no one probably even noticed. It's a self constructed illusion.
Admittedly I actually like trainers and do have a few pairs but they are very different to each other. I'm not big on the whole brand thing. It's more a smart pair (I don't wear proper shoes - they're annoying), a pair to run around in, a pair I don't mind getting muddy. Proper shoes however I think all look the same and can't understand why some people have silly numbers of pairs.
I also don't understand this concept of having to buy a new outfit for every special occasion like wedding. Yes I can see you're not always going to wear the same outfit every time but the concept that you just wear it once baffles me. Especially when they are often very expensive. I know so many women that spends hundreds on dresses and wear them once. I guess it's a bit easier for guys.
Yes, they can. Television is a big topic of conversation at work. When I say I don't have a TV, I get some very odd looks. 'What do you do in the evenings, then?' Well... I read, I write, I watch films. I don't get bored. Phones are the other thing. Everyone's going on about this model, or that app, and it simply doesn't interest me. I'm practically the only person there who follows the Foundation's policy on 'no personal phones when on duty'. I guess it helps that I'm of a generation that can remember when no one had or needed them. But even staff my own age are on them all the time. I guess it's just the times we live in. You can't un-invent the wheel!