Published on 12, July, 2020
I sometimes find other people's perceptions of a situation absolutely baffling. And a recent situation is really bugging me because I really don't see how the other people's point of view made sense yet I was on my own with my point of view so evidently once again its me with the issue.
I'm quite protective of my possessions. They are very important to me. I guess this is an ASC thing. Because of this, I HATE lending people things. However, I found myself in a situation where a friend wanted to read a book I'd just read and asked if they could borrow it. I said they could even though I didn't really want to because I didn't want to appear like I was being awkward. She read the book and then said another friend who I also know had wanted to read it so she would pass it on to her. I was a bit uneasy about this but nothing I could do.
I let time go by for a bit and heard nothing about the book so asked the second friend if they'd read it yet. She said the first friend never gave it to her. I asked the first friend the next time I saw her. There was a group of us. She was very offhand and didn't seem to know whether she still had it or not. As the conversation went on, she quite bluntly said "Well did you want it back?" I said "Of course I did because it was mine." She seemed baffled by this. Someone else said "Well you're never going to read it again." And then another person said "If I leant someone a book, I'd just expect them to keep it."
My mind at this point was just repeatedly going "It's mine! It's mine! It's mine!" I couldn't even slightly understand their point of view at all. They didn't see why I had an issue with the situation. Am I the only one baffled by this situation? And does anyone else find themselves in these situations where there point of view is different but the other people's point of views make absolutely no sense?
And does anyone else find themselves in these situations where there point of view is different but the other people's point of views make absolutely no sense?
Well... I guess that's how the world is! A communist will never understand the thinking of a capitalist, and vice-versa. Likewise, a Christian with an atheist. It would be a pretty dull world, too, if everyone thought the same way. But I know what you mean. When I see injustices being carried out, and then people supporting it, it makes no sense.
I'm not good at arguing my corner on an issue if I'm with other people - even if it's something I know a bit about. I don't really have the courage to play through my convictions. Some people make their position very clear a lot of the time - like one chap I once worked with who took every opportunity to criticise anyone left-leaning in politics. I prefer not to get into those kinds of discussions if I can help it. Also, I've tended to end up in all sorts of knots when trying to explain a position and not doing it very well. Or I end up saying something I don't actually mean, then confusing myself. There's an art to it, and I don't have it. Even with the written word, which is my chosen form of communication. Misunderstandings about meaning can so easily happen. Often, it's because I simply haven't thought things through properly. In the week at work, one of the clients I was chatting to started leading off against the French - so I hastily changed the subject! Those are usually very difficult conversations to navigate without things becoming heated!
Ye I was thinking more the small every day sort of situations when I wrote that rather than bigger things like religion. It's not that I expect everyone to think the same but I do find a variety of beliefs etc fascinating as to how differently people can think. I find it really weird how often I seem to be the only one in a situation that sees things a certain way. In my diagnostic report my assessor wrote that I have significant difficulty mentalising (theory of mind) so I guess it's not surprising I find situations like this very difficult.
Ha Martian Tom you sound just like me. Even when I know I'm right about something, and have a lot of evidence, I struggle at getting that across in a discussion. I also end up saying things I don't mean which I guess is down to my brain trying to work too quickly and not accessing the right information quick enough (or something). I tend to pick up very quickly if someone has a "closed" mindset or an "open" mindset. There is no point even discussing things with closed minded people, nothing will change their mind. I do like debating with open minded friends though as I enjoy seeing the difference of opinions and we both leave the conversation with something to think about. I'm rambling again, apologies.