Published on 12, July, 2020
Anyone else have a series of obsessions that seem to come and go in rotation?
When I get into a hobby, I throw myself into it fully and pursue it with passion whilst I'm learning at a decent rate. Then when the learning slows down because of the plateau that inevitably comes, I lose interest and move on to something else, often an old hobby.
Because I value efficiency, I'll often sell all of the hobby equipment - sometimes regretting it shortly afterwards.
I've been through astronomy, photography, shortwave radio, ham radio, electronics, hifi, religion, piano playing, guitar playing, motorcycling, advanced motorcycling (to the point where I was qualified to teach this). On the odd occasion that I find myself without a passion I get into a hell of a mess with addictive behaviours too.
Hi,Yes I'm very much in this mold too and have been since a kid, the main difference being I don't often sell the hobby equipment off hence we have quite a cluttered house but at least when I revisit a hobby I usually have some kit to work with. Like you I did short wave radio and have my amateur license (although I never got into the transmission side, I'm more into listening). I was massively into TV-DXing and still tinker with it but there arent many analogue VHF stations on air now so I'm more into FM radio DX these days. I also play guitar and tinker with their electronics, hot rod them, build my own pedal boards etc. I have played in bands on and off since my teens something I have a love hate relationship with as I love the actual playing but the interpersonal band dynamics have always been a nightmare, of course since my diagnosis l know why now. I'm also big into collecting music both on audio and video. Some hobbies have completely gone by the wayside and probably wont return such as fishing but that it more to do with my back problems than a loss of interest and if I were fitter I may still have been active.I have never had problems with addiction in the absence of a passion, I tend to fall into depression and become a hermit, I'm kind of in that phase now sadly.
Maybe your particular addiction is depression? You wouldn’t be alone, lots of people share this addiction.
I know depression is very common but I have never heard it described as an addiction before.
Yeah, most of my friends are dead through its use but it's usually by od or too pure a batch. I don't know how I was saved, but I was, so I just accept that now. The temptation to use again is always there though, because the benefits are so great. Heroin was, until I had a Ritalin, my favourite drug of all. It was my number 1 drug of choice.
Unfortunately some people can't cope with the pain and the endless cycle kills them or the drugs do depends on your perspective
... untill you get to the end and realise the other person didn't have a clue what you we're talking about ♀️
The pain and suffering or the 'ratling' as we call it, never caused me to not stop using heroin. For some reason, I'm ok with a lot of pain. I used to use it for the glorious comfort it gave me. It was by far my favourite drug which has only recently been replaced in the number 1 spot, by Ritalin.
I don't think anything can be cured by possitive thinking. I'm not even sure it can do any good at all and if it can, it must only be temporary. I've never seen the attraction to positive thinking. It seems more like trickery to me.
No a heroin addict is fulfilling a physical addiction as well as a mental one. They can choose to stop but the body causes them so much pain and suffering that it is almost impossible to stop despite what you are thinking, this in turn causes depression and makes it harder to stop.
I agree feeling down can be helped by positive thinking but depression can not be cured by it helped and managed yes cured no.
This is a very interesting discussion between BlueRay and Binary, which I must admit I've skimmed a little as there are lots of words!
I wanted to chime in as I've suffered both classic depression and some addictions, and I would say that whilst I think there are some differences, both depression and addiction are *adaptations* of a kind; responses to something.
Exercising choice in either case is hugely difficult, but part of the recovery.
In fact, in my depression (maybe not addiction) I found that exercising choice was one of the keys to recovery, starting with trivial choices like "I'm going to make a cup of coffee", doing it, enjoying it. Then building up to bigger choices.
Every time you do it, you are doing something called pattern interupt, with regards to brain plasticity. So don’t worry, the amount of effort you have to put in, fades over time.
Yes, in AA, we say that going into our minds, is like going into Beirut, don’t go alone and don’t go unharmed :) ~ and don’t let anybody live there, rent free ;)
My counsellor didn't say to stop thinking about it - sort of the reverse, ie stop *trying* and failing to stop thinking about it. She said to let feelings come, not be afraid of drowning, let the feelings take up all the space they need and eventually they will just naturally ebb and let you move on. I've found this to be true. I now use a meditation app - it starts by asking me to name what I feel [well, pass on that one], then talks you through just letting it be what it is. I find if I'm willing to ride out the storm of chaotic anxious feelings they gradually just fade and I'm able to stop obsessing mentally too. It's not a one-off, you have to do it every time feelings are getting out of hand. I find it's not actually necessary to understand *what* I feel as long as I give the nameless misery lots of room to just blow itself out.
Sometimes I kinda resent the constant effort but find it worthwhile.
Think meditation app helps, I just ignore techniqes I can't do and just do what I can - but I just find the instructor's voice makes me feek safer. Joan Rivers once quipped she needs a shrink cos "my mind is like a bad neighbourhood - I'm not going in alone" ;)
All I’m basically saying. Is I discovered, through overcoming several addictions and other things, including depression, that when I believe my thoughts, I suffer. And when I don’t, I don’t suffer. I experience the opposite. But only, 100% of the time :)
I know it’s difficult for most people to understand. I don’t try and get people to understand me. They either do or they don’t. This is just how I experience the world. And if people really want to know what I’m talking about, they hang in there, until. That’s the magic word ~ ‘until’. If we want something. Anything. Whether to be free from depression or heroin or anything else, if we want something, we keep going ‘until’ we get it, no matter how long it takes.
I wanted to be free from crippling drug addiction. I was homeless, on the streets. I had had my son taken off me. And one day I had simply had enough. And from that point on. I turned my life around. It’s taken 13 years, but all the hard work was worth it.
I am so confused. Sorry. I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say.
I never said I could stop myself from having emotional responses to things. Why would I even want to do that? I love my emotions. They’re often what direct me in life. I wouldn’t want to control neither my feelings nor my thoughts.
EVERYTHING we do, has a benefit. You might not see it. But it’s there. We are benefits driven creatures.
Many people enjoy the secondary benefits of depression. Such as, entry to an exclusive club, something that non depressives can’t be part of. For as long as you are depressed, you have friends in your group, who will empathise with you. Keep you company etc. This might be the most company a person has ever had. Even if they don’t actually speak to a person. Depressed people often find it comforting to read stories of other depressed people. There are lots of benefits.
It means you never fail. Because if you’re too depressed to do anything, you will therefore, avoid the risk of failure, that engulfs all of us when we think about doing something new. So depression can help us by not allowing us to even try something new.
I am simply no longer depressed. I discovered the cause of my depression, and removed it. I didn’t gloss over it. I didn’t play tricks by using positive thinking and other such methods. I simply found the cause and removed it. It wasn’t anything outside of me. I removed the cause from within me. So these things can never return.
You obviously have a lot more control over your feelings and thoughts if you can stop yourself having an emotional response to everything.
The downs are a huge part of addiction. Those downs are what cause you to want to do what ever the addiction is. So you don't feel the down anymore. This again is where I don't see how depression fits into addiction. What do we get out of feeling depressed other than feeling depressed. Why would we want to continue that behaviour? It's not getting rid of the down, it just is down.
Drugs and alcohol have massive links with depression. Is it that you have decided not to be depressed or is that you have changed the behaviours that caused it?
I guess if you think you can’t control your emotions or not react to every thought, you won’t.
As Henry Ford said. If you think you can’t, you won’t. And if you think you can, you will. Either way you’ll be right.
I came through heroin addiction, which is still to this day my favourite drug. Actually, since I had a Ritalin, I would now say my number one favourite drug is Ritalin. By far.
I came through alcohol addiction. I come from a long line of alcoholics, on both sides of my family, and I’m the only one to break free. I’m the first one amongst my large family, to do many things. And overcoming depression was another. Although that’s not to say I come from a long line of depressed people, because I don’t. I guess a lot of mine came as part and parcel with the huge amounts of drugs and alcohol I was taking. You can’t have all those ups, without downs. And I don’t do things by halves.
I never said it’s as simple as stopping and you’re no longer addicted. But if you are no longer repeating the behaviour, whatever it might be. You can’t be said to be addicted to it any more.
I was what we in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) call, a hopeless alcoholic. They honestly thought I would never make it. But they never told me that. And instead, they kept on loving me and after my last hopes of hanging on had gone. I got what they call the gift of desperation. And from then on, it took me about 12 years to break free. And now I can take or leave a drink. I recovered.
I still work the 12 steps in my life today. They are, without doubt, divinely given. I never broke free by my own efforts. But I did break free. I didn’t know if I could or I couldn’t. But I decided to give it a try anyway, and be open minded about it. And it worked. I no longer get depressed.
I worked the 12 step program. But apart from that. I’m not particularly into theories. This was just my experience, seen through my eyes, so therefore, the way I see the world. My life experiences alone are vastly different to most people’s, without how differently I see the world. So I’m not talking about theories or anything, just about how it is that I don’t get depressed any more.
By thinking away I just meant controlling your thoughts. Deciding not to be depressed.
If I tried to stop having depressing thoughts, I would have more, because I'm thinking about them.
I see depression as being linked to emotions and I don't see emotions as being choices. I hate crying, I would never choose to cry, but sometimes I do. Why? Because it's an emotional response. One that I can't control.
It isn't as simple as stopping and you're no longer addicted. For drugs it involves a withdrawel period. Alcoholics can give up alcohol for a long while and one drink will cause them to drink again.
Decide for the next 5 minutes to not think any depressing thoughts, and see what happens. I’m not even sure what you mean by ‘thinking away’ thoughts ♀️
Yes, the brain is at the centre of our physical being. It’s the control centre. It gives and receives and processes messages.
Whether it’s a drug or shopping or anything else, we are addicted because we are doing something repeatedly that isn’t doing us good, and we’re not stopping. If we stopped. We would no longer be addicted. Whatever it is. It’s as simple as that really.
But this isn’t a theory or anything. It’s only my experience. I’m sure every other living person has a different experience. But in my experience, when I stopped thinking depressing thoughts, I stopped feeling depressed.
What is the difference between thinking away and stopping thinking specific thoughts?
An addiction I would say is something you become dependent on. In the case of drugs you become physically dependent. Other things like shopping or gambling I suppose you become addicted to the way it feels. It then becomes hard to stop. People don't actively choose to become addicted to drugs but at some point they did choose to take drugs.
You say that we control our brain with our thoughts. But our brain is responsible for many things that we do not think about like breathing and pain response.
I'm no expert. These are just my opinions from the knowledge I do have.
Touché. It’s not easy, but the rewards are priceless and in my experience, life just gets better and better, when I allow it.
I never said think away the depression. I said stop thinking specific thoughts, that keep the depression alive. There’s a difference.
What is an addiction, if it is not in some way, a way to avoid reality? Whether you’re thinking depressive thoughts or taking drugs, you’re still out of reality, which ever method you choose. People don’t actively choose to be drug addicts, just like they don’t actively choose any other addiction. But if you look at the quality of it, depression comes under it.
Science has proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the brain is not a fixed structure. And that it is infact our thoughts, that shape it. It’s called brain plasticity.
It both sends and receives messages, and it is controlled by thought. If you never had a depressing thought, you could not be depressed, no matter how you get to that conclusion. I got to it because of my history with addiction to drugs and alcohol, amongst other things. And my depressing thoughts came under that. So just as I over came my addiction to drugs and alcohol, I overcame my addiction to depressing thoughts, and I no longer entertain them.
I used to get bad bouts of depression and 'self medicating' before I knew about the AS, had a really good counsellor yonks ago who taught me to cope much better. It took 2 years, I think the thing that swung it was her telling me that my anxiety about feeling bad was 'trapping' me into focusing on bad feelings rather than just allowing sad or despairing thoughts to flow and ebb away. It sounded stupid to me but I found it did work. Finding out about the AS really helped with self acceptance but it took another few years to really get the hang of it.
It's seriously not easy but it was possible for me to learn to stay more or less level despite AS and co diagnosis of anxiety disorder - but it's still overwhelmingly hard work a lot if the time.
I just don't think depression is as simple as thoughts. I'm no doctor or scientist so I have a limited understanding of how it works. But I think thinking away depression would be about as effective as thinking away a cold. And in that sense I do not think it works the same way as an addiction. It is all very complicated and I may well be wrong.
I don't know enough to explain why people feel depressed if they don't choose to be but I imagine it must be something to do with the way the brain sends messages.
The brain is incredibly complicated. I'm not comparing autism to an illness but I don't think people choose to feel depressed any more than we choose to be autistic. I think people can be genetically predisposed to depression and life events can trigger it.