I am potentially at huge risk from midday, next Wednesday. If you only had 5 days left to BE, to EXIST, what would you do?
Go on the holiday of a lifetime. Why worry about anything serious if I only have 5 days left? May as well enjoy them as much as I can.
Hope all is ok? Huge risk doesn't sound good!
Why worry about anything serious anyway? What exactly does worry add to the situation? Just curious ~ does it help in a way that if you didn't worry the solutions would never be found? It's just that for me, I found that if I worried about a situation, it didn't change anything and I couldn't find a solution because my head was too full of worries. So I gave it up and don't bother with it anymore.
And why not enjoy every day you have on this planet as we never know which one will be our last?
I find it curious that people would enjoy five days but not the whole of their lives!
Worrying is the most pointless thing in the world. But it is not something that I can just stop. I have tried. It doesn't work. Some people may have more control over their thought processes. I do not. Trust me, if I could stop myself from worrying, I would.
And yes it would be nice if we could enjoy every day on this planet. But I do have to think about things like mortgages and bills and other things which if I knew I only had 5 days to live, I wouldn't care about. I'd just spend all the money I wanted.
I cannot afford to do some of the things I really want to every day of my life. I'd end up bankrupt and homeless. I will do these things at times in my life. But they will be amazing moments. I can't do them every day.
Why do you have to think about things like mortgages and bills? It seems bizarre. I usually just pay them, or not, and leave it there. I don’t even know how I’d think about them ~ I’m trying now and I don’t know how to do it, nothings happening
I’ll see if I can find a thought process you can use to help you stop worrying, I think I’ve even got it in video form if you would prefer that? Either one, if practiced, will stop you from worrying.
Can you only enjoy life when you’re doing amazing things? If you believe that, then maybe that’s the reason you don’t enjoy every moment of your life? And it sounds like you would consider being homeless and bankrupt a reason not to enjoy life? At least you wouldn’t have to think about mortgages and bills.
Because I have to make sure I have enough money each month to pay them. So yes that is something I would think about.
You say you don't know how to think about things like that and you try and nothing happens. Well the same would be said for me and trying not to worry. Everybody's brains work differently and for some they may be able to change their thought processes. For me that is very difficult.
I'm not saying I don't enjoy any other day in my life but I would get considerably more enjoyment out of doing some of the things that I really want to do one day.
And yes I would certainly see being homeless and bankrupt as a reason not to enjoy life. How could you possibly enjoy that situation?
I loved being homeless and skint. I didn’t have to pay bills or do housework and I guess I just know that I am the same in any given moment, no matter where I am or what I’m doing, the only difference from one moment to the next, is what I’m thinking. So when I was homeless (one of the times), let’s say I was sat on the side of the road in the day time and I’m smoking a cigarette. I could sit and smoke the cigarette and enjoy it or I could sit and smoke the cigarette and think, I’m homeless. That thought would conjure up an image in my mind. The image would make me feel scared and worried. My mind would go into all kinds of scenarios. It would be terrible, I wouldn’t be happy at all. And I would still be sat there with the same cigarette as I am when I’m not thinking that thought. Nothing would have changed. I would still be without a home and I would still be sat on the wall.
And my mind doesn’t work like that anyway. It wouldn’t think ‘I’m homeless’ because why would it pick that one thing about me, to focus on, and what does that even mean anyway? To me, the earth is my home. A manager of a pub where I used to sleep in the day time sometimes, used to find me in all sorts of places and he would say I would get where water couldn’t! Of course I had no idea what he was talking about at the time, but I understand it now. I did find some great places to sleep etc because I don’t have the same thought patterns as most people. I don’t see how being homeless is any different to living in a mansion. I’m still the same person with the same option of enjoying the moment or not and of changing my situation or not.
I do understand that some people will only be happy if they have certain things in life, such as houses and jobs etc and that if they don’t have them they’ll be unhappy or not quite as happy. I can understand that intellectually but from the way I experience the world, I can’t understand it. I’m just grateful I’m breathing most of the time. Because without breathing, I wouldn’t be here to enjoy any of it.
I’m starting to realise as well, that most people really don’t experience the world like I do and that’s why people don’t understand me. It’s not because I’m autistic, it’s just because I experience the world differently. The autism just makes it more weird! Lol! And makes me to not be able to understand why everyone doesn’t see the world like I do! It just gets better! Lol!
I’m just watching a video though by a guy called gregg bradan and he understands how I think, he’s talking about it. It’s very interesting. I’m going back to it now. He says as well that it depends on if you know who you are.
It's great for you that you were able to be so positive about a situation like this.
I have heard people talk about how being homeless was a turning point in their life but never someone say they enjoyed the experience. This is interesting.
I personally would find it very difficult. Uncertainty and unpredictableness is something I find very difficult and their is not a lot that is certain or predictable about that situation. I have huge sensory issues with the cold and food so being outdoors and struggling for meals would be challenging. Sleep is also challenging for me. I think it would be a struggle without home comforts. And I would be very anxious about people I don't know coming near me. And there is so much more that would be challenging when homeless.
My mind obviously works very differently to yours. I overthink everything. I see so many possible outcomes to a scenario and have no idea which is realistic. These thoughts play like a loop until the situation is over. There is little I can do about it. This is just how I am.
I wasn’t being positive, I was simply facing reality, the truth, and accepting it as it is instead of arguing or fighting with it.
I don’t do ‘positive thinking’ or ‘being positive’ I just accept things as they are without adding stories, or judgements or meanings. For example, some people might say to themselves in that situation, I’m homeless, this is terrible, this means I’m poor, etc etc ~ they make up stories, make judgements about it, add meaning to it and make themselves feel terrible because they believe the little stories they tell themselves and the judgements they make and the meanings they add to reality instead of simply accepting reality as it is.
And I didn’t see it as an ‘experience’, it was simply my life and that changes every moment so it was simply, oh, this is where I sleep tonight and no matter where I sleep, I’m still sleeping and I’ve always had a knack of getting comfortable no matter where I am. I was still eating, breathing, sleeping, waking etc etc just as I was when I was living in a house, my outer circumstances don’t change that and if I can eat, breath and move around etc, why wouldn’t I enjoy my life? Why wouldn’t I be grateful for what I have ~ eyes that see, legs that walk, a brain that works, love in my heart, hands that work, the ability to be kind, to see beauty, to give love, to help other people, why wouldn’t I be grateful and happy for all those things every single day of my life, no matter what my changing outer circumstances look like because they don’t change those things.
You can live a very certain and predictable life on the streets. You can sleep in the same place at night, go to the same place for food etc, it’s not as different from living in a house as you think. How do you know you would struggle for meals? You’ve already made an assumption and made up a story and believed it without even trying it out. You think it would be a struggle without home comforts but again, you don’t know that, but if you believed it, then sure you would struggle because that’s what you’ve decided you will do, regardless of the facts of reality. There are several people, that I know, living on the streets who are autistic and they do just fine. And don’t worry, you soon get to know people (if you want to) and why would they come up to you if they didn’t know you and you didn’t want them to? Just because people live on the streets, they haven’t lost the use of their senses, they can still tell if somebody doesn’t want them around. You seem to know an awful lot about living on the streets and yet you said you’ve never been in that situation. Don’t believe what people tell you about it. What we say to non street sleepers and to each other, is very different, so if you want to really know what it’s like, you’d have to do it. We’re not going to tell people not living on the streets what it’s really like because they’re judgmental and their support is conditional so we make sure we meet their conditions, from the outside, and we keep the rest to ourselves and each other.
My mind overthinks everything, if I let it, and I mean everything. None of the scenarios you see in your head are realistic, because they’re in your head. But I realised that when my mind was forever going over and over every last little thing and that it made me feel anxious, depressed and scared I decided that the solution was to stop over thinking stuff and I set off on the journey of how I stop it.
I’d say it’s taken me about 19 years (probably more) of hard work, but I managed it. The tendency is still there for my mind to jump in and start its cyclical thinking thing and I have to make sure I have no stress in my life, because that can get in the way and make it almost impossible if not impossible for me to have control of my mind. That’s why I’m so serious about creating my income in a way that serves me because if it doesn’t, I know that I’ll just get caught up in all the loop thinking, over analysing everything, coming up with terrible scenarios etc etc. I’d rather die than do a job that didn’t serve me and that caused me any amount, even the slightest amount of discomfort, even if it paid me hundreds of thousands of pounds a week.
I never accepted ‘this is just who I am’ and I’m glad I never because even scientifically, that’s not true. We have proof now that our genes don’t control us and that the brain isn’t a solid structure. There is something called brain plasticity that shows how we change our brain with the thoughts we think.
I went into a lot of areas, science, physics, astronomy, metaphysics, quantum physics and more, but I’ve enjoyed it and it was worth it because it’s my life, I wanted to be in control of my mind and my life and live in freedom, peace, unconditional love and happiness or I didn’t want to live at all. I decided I would keep going ‘until’ I got there or until it became obvious that I couldn’t achieve that and in that case, I would have been happy to depart this earth.
So no, I definitely do not do ‘postive thinking’ by any stretch of the imagination, I’m just happy and I don’t fill my head with silly stories or tv etc etc. I don’t watch tv and never have, even as a child ~ I don’t recognise faces or follow the story lines, even when they’re simple - I’m still processing the start of the film and it’s almost finished! I don’t watch modern films or listen to music (or very little and it’s usually meditation type music or Indian type devotional music or hymns), I don’t read newspapers or magazines or go online or go on social media, I don’t engage in gossip etc etc so I’m pretty much sheltered from a lot of outside influence. And I don’t subscribe to my life needing to look like others or that just because most people do it this way it’s the right way etc etc. And I have, and always have had, total unconditional love for every person, being, animal etc etc. I do not and have never loved my child more than another child, I wouldn’t even know how to do that. I don’t know how to not love people. I tried, as a way of ‘fitting in’ and being like others and it nearly killed me with depression and suicidal thoughts so I decided I wouldn’t try that again. But I learned a lot and learning is my special interest, so if I’m learning, I’m happy and I’m always learning. But happiness really is our natural state and we only come out of it or become separate from it when we believe our thoughts and the stories and judgements etc that the uncontrolled mind makes.
You obviously do do positive thinking if you say you enjoy every single day of your life. I have never met a single person that has never said they've had a bad day.
I may not know everything about being homeless but I know enough to know it is not a situation I would feel comfortable with and I'm certainly not going to try it out to see it from your point of view. Why should I? There are many people's situations I have not been in and so couldn't completely know but I can't be going and trying every single one of those situations to see what it is like.
I would disagree that happiness is our natural state. Being ok/satisfied is our natural state. Happiness/enjoyment is a level up from that. We actually had training on this in work and they said one of the contributors of depression is people seeing how "happy" others are on social media and feeling their lives weren't as good. In reality we only post on social media if it's something really good. There aren't many people who post their average day.
I'm well aware that all the scenarios in my head are not realistic. But you can't think that because you have managed to change your thought patterns that everyone else can just do the same. We wouldn't have a mental health crisis if they could. I'm not saying everyone else's brains are unchangeable but other people may find it far more difficult and need help in order to do it.
I never do positive thinking. When you take away all the negative thinking, you are simply left with what is, which is love, life, compassion etc etc, all the good stuff.
Exactly! Why would you become homeless just to understand what it’s like? Why do you need to understand it? But you’ll never understand it by reading about it or talking to somebody about it. That would get you, at most, just an interpretation of somebody else’s experience of it and trust me, we do NOT tell anybody, who’s not on the streets, what it’s like, regardless of their motives.
I experience happiness as my natural state. What you’re describing is what I would call having an enjoyable experience with something outside of myself. There is nothing outside of me that can make me happy but I can certainly get a lot of enjoyment and pleasure from things outside of me, but happiness comes from within and nobody and nothing, apart from my own thinking and believing, can take it away.
People are NOT seeing how happy someone is on social media. They’re simply ‘believing’ that they’re seeing other people happy. I could post a photo of me looking all happy and inside I could be suicidal but somebody might look at my photo and believe that I’m happy, but it doesn’t make it true. And when we compare our lives to somebody else’s, we loose, but only 100% of the time. Because how can we compare our insides to somebody’s outside? It makes us feel either less than, more than or just average! Who can feel happy when they believe they are either less than, more than or plain average? And it’s not even true. There is not a person on this planet who is any better than anybody else.
I certainly can think that somebody else can change their thought patterns because I have and it’s backed up by science ~ read up on brain plasticity. They need only find the tools that work for them and I haven’t met a person yet whose mindset has not changed after they have come to me for help. And it’s definitely NOT positive thinking. I simply help them to see, for themselves, the truth in the situation and at that point, there mindset has changed. I have even changed the mindsets of people diagnosed with schizophrenia and multiple personalities with disassociation disorder. We ALL need help with changing our mindsets, and not just autistic people. And for many of us, me included, it takes a lot of practice, focus and commitment.
I think you completely missed my point about the social media. My whole point was that it isn't real but people believe that it is.
At no point have I said people can't change their way of thinking but your making it sound as easy as deciding to change my jumper.
What you are describing as seeing the truth is basically what I would describe as positive thinking. Not seeing the negative so therefore positive. I'm not sure what you call positive thinking.
You can live a very certain and predictable life on the streets. You can sleep in the same place at night, go to the same place for food etc, it’s not as different from living in a house as you think.
I can't believe that you're still peddling this nonsense. You have had an experience that many, many people who are homeless do not have. Your safety and security is at risk, you don't know from one day to the next whether you are going to eat properly. People freeze to death on the streets. My father became ill living on the streets because he wasn't eating properly and was vulnerable to the elements. You make it sound like a lifestyle choice.
I give up. I thought I was living on a strange planet.
And that was my EXACT point too. We are in TOTAL agreement. My job, is to help people to SEE that truth, so they can STOP BELIEVING that thought that others are happy and they’re not.
You told me that just because I’ve changed my thoughts I can’t say everyone can and I merely answered with, yes I can say that. And if you read any of my posts, you will see that I regularly talk about the amount of hours, days and years I have put into changing my thoughts and at a huge cost. I have never said it’s eaay. But it is, just one decision. That’s the easy part. I decided one day that I was going to change my thinking and god knows how many years later, I did.
There is no ‘positive’ in Truth. Sometimes the truth is very painful indeed and it has no opposite. Positive is simply the opposite of negative, just two sides of the same coin. Truth transcends opinions. It has no opposite and no equal. It stands by itself. You might say, isn’t a non truth the opposite. But no, a non truth is simply the abscence of truth.
Yes, it's from a tabloid newspaper - and you can't always believe what you read in the papers.
This, though, reflects the experience of people I worked with at a homeless shelter a couple of years back.
Homeless people reveal the brutal reality of living on the streets
I literally have no understanding over this conversation. I think I may just have to agree to disagree.