Published on 12, July, 2020
The first place I was in (full time contract) held a meeting between management and HR and said I could leave the job there and then and be paid for the three months notice I would have worked. I hated the environment in that place so I was glad to go. I was told in the past while in this job that I wasn't productive enough. I worked here just under a year,
The second place did not renew my 3 month temporary contract citing performance and quality issues. This does not make sense as I focus a lot on detail so the quality should at least have been good. Four other temporary staff were kept on after their contracts ended. Out of the 5 temporary people, I was the only one not kept on.
Is this a pattern that's going to keep repeating itself? Saddening if so. Do they see the aspergers and make excuses to get rid of me? I thought my work quality was far better than others who were more pally with management (in other words the *** lickers).
I have always found I need to keep starting again in life. I'm in my 30s and it's back to the drawing board.
With aspergers and a pattern of being told to leave jobs ( for various reasons) or not getting accepted for them in the first place, what is the best line of work to get into and how can I make it more likely to get a job? I prepare for interviews but it's a case of always the bridesmaid never the bride.
What has worked for you? Thanks in advance.
You could look also look at that a different way, which I know is not easy for us aspies, but you could look at it from the point of view of how wonderful this is, this pattern is showing me something, what could it be? Maybe it's that I don't fit into the traditional workplace, maybe I just didn't like the work, maybe it's showing me that I don't yet know what I really want to do? It could be a pattern showing you many things. How much time would you like to spend working? How much money would you like to earn? Do you want your work to be something that you're interested in, for example, do you want to make one of your special interests your job? Or would you simply like a low paid job that you could do with the minimum of stress because that is what would be perfect for you?
If I had to go back to work, I would choose a 'medium' job where the money was ok with at a level I could excel at but with no further responsibility. I would want to be working on my own too. I don't mind being part of a team as long as my role has strong boundaries so I can't get 'used' by others. Working hard doesn't stress me, it's poor management and obvious manipulation that burn me up.
I never ignore lying and don’t tolerate it and I would never let it get in my way of my work and I most definitely would not allow another person to crush my soul with their lies. Another person’s lies can only impact on yours if you allow them to. Putting the blame on the liar simply lets you off the hook. Why on earth would you let somebody manipulate you and mess you around?
You're completely missing it - working WITH a liar is easy - you just treat them like the fool they are.
Working FOR a liar is soul crushing while they manipulate and mess you around. You CANNOT ignore it because it continually impacts upon your life.
Oh, I worked with somebody who was a compulsive liar once, she was also notoriously impossible to work with.
This was such a gift to me. I had just been given the weekly exercise, from my practical philosophy course, and it fit this situation perfectly.
The exercise was to meet everyone you meet as if you were meeting them for the first time in your life. It’s a very powerful exercise which had striking and astonishing results in relation to this situation. In fact, it’s pretty astonishing no matter who you use it with.
In this situation, I was the social worker on a busy older people’s ward and she was the nurse liaison officer. It was her job to make sure that patients were discharged from hospital swiftly and that they didn’t go over their time.
Her reputation proceeded her and I witnessed her bare faced lying on many occasions. So I used the exercise. Every time I saw her ~ which was usually several times a day as it was our job to do the ward rounds and meetings etc and work together to discharge patients ~ I would meet her as if I had never met her before, so of course I’m unaware that she tells lies etc and in the meantime, I simply concentrated on my role.
We built up a working relationship that worked for both of us. She could continue with her lies etc and I got what I wanted for my patients. And one day, she even invited me to take a coffee break with her and she actually confided in me that she had been passed over for a position in the hospital that she had really wanted (this was the rumour going around). I wouldn’t say we ever became best friends, but the relationship worked, when I applied the exercise and she did show me photos of her beautiful little girl one day.
Whenever I was off work, my managers would dread it, because all hell would break loose. They would be getting charge sheets (social services get the charge for patients staying longer than their predicted time) left right and centre, where as when I was there, we got none, and my patients regularly stayed longer because I wouldn’t agree to discharge until they were ready, but I made sure the hospital paid the bill.
Because the other social workers reacted to her lying, they couldn’t do their jobs properly, so they couldn’t either delay discharges or get the hospital to pay. It was chaos and all anybody focussed on was this woman’s lying and deceiving and nothing got achieved but even more separation between social workers and hospital staff.
So her lying was a gift to me. I was able to experience, first hand, that when we don’t react to the behaviour and thoughts of others, we’re free to do our own thing.
I simply gave that woman the same love, respect and consideration that I would give to anybody else, my attitude towards her wasn’t clouded by judgements of her. Where as the others all treated her like she was a liar. Whether they did it openly, which they actually never did, or they did it through passive aggressive behaviour, they singled her out even more and nobody was happy although it gave them something to gossip and complain about. When I brought love into the equation, it never changed anybody, but everybody was happy and the lady herself must have got something out of it because she did work with me and in a manner I like, which isn’t always to the book. I treated her well and in return, in her way, she worked with me and we each did a good job. She knew how to get things done so she was a good ally to have yet nobody would work openly with her because they all treated her as a liar, which I always thought was their loss, because true to her reputation, she really could get things done because of her seemingly tough exterior. Inside she was quite lonely at work and it was because she had got this reputation so nobody was ever genuinely friendly towards her. It took a while for her to let her guard down but once she knew I was genuine, she reciprocated the friendship in her own way, which thank god, wasn’t to get all best friendy with me!
My speciality and reputation, which I’ve built up over the years, is in dealing with the angriest of people. I simply treat people with love and no judgement and you’d be surprised how far that gets you. The managers call me in with a gift ~ even they call it a gift now ~ when they have somebody they just can’t deal with! Lol! I guess I was never going to get normal gifts, being that I’m not normal!
The problem was my direct manager - he just lied all the time.
In the company tree, I was on level 4. I was very friendly with the level 1 and worked in a project team with level 2. I knew the truth about what was really going on. My manager, level 3, was a bottleneck stopping truth and information going either way.
I would find out from level 1 & 2 that things were supposed to have happened for me but my manager was stopping it - with lame excuses - but basically abusing my work ethic and my great abilities because it would show up his lack of managing the rest of the team - who were bone-idle and incompetent - I was covering all their work because it needed doing.. I was doing 90% and all the others combined were only doing the last 10%. From the outside, all looked fine - 100% done.
He needed me there to cover his incompetence.
It took a major meltdown & a grievance to blow it all up. That got me instantly moved out of that department for my safety.
When I left that department, their true output - only 10% - was obvious.
Fat hit the shin.
I told you to be careful with gamma ray dosages and where you were aiming the gamma rays at you David!
I don’t understand that last sentence but I do understand that where there is no effective two way conversation and trust, disaster follows in one way or another. For effective communication, at least one person has to be skilled at it and exceptionally skilled if the other person isn’t and I haven’t met that many people in life who are effective communicators so I am never surprised at how things don’t run smoother than they could.
Not so much - managers are always trying to cut the budget to increase their bonus - but when they are telling lies to upper managment and faking numbers and I end up on the receiving end of the damage it causes I have difficulty interfacing to that manger. All trust is gone. The don't pee on me and say that it's raining situation.