Published on 12, July, 2020
Looking back over my childhood and considering various experiences within my wider family, I can trace not only what I believe to be the "path of autism" but also a fair amount of poverty, to varying degrees.
Now I'm not suggesting that there's a straightforward link between autism and poverty - certainly I can see many positives to my neurodivergent mind which have enabled me to make a fair living over the years - but the patterns do seem intertwined. I can see lots of issues with anxiety, depression and addiction too but increasingly I suspect these might be related to undiagnosed (and therefore unsupported) autism. The patterns seem to involve difficulties in the workplace (choosing and staying in jobs), education (especially higher education where independence and social factors seems to become increasingly important), accessing healthcare and applying for benefits (a stressful process in itself).
During my teenage years in particular, we went through a lot of poverty and our living conditions were quite poor, to the extent that we didn't dare invite people round and our social isolation became ever worse. Dad did what work he could, but was trapped in a low paying job and neither of my parents had much knowledge of the benefits system (I was quite shocked recently when my now elderly mother said that we probably could have claimed something to help).
And going back a generation, my grandmother's house was something of a disaster. No housework ever done, not much with which to do it, no repairs carried out, not much washing, a LOT of hoarding, alcohol consumption and gambling. It was like that with my uncles too, although they were very intelligent people and obviously quite talented in many ways.
Is this all necessarily to do with autism? Probably not. But I'm suspicious. Especially now that my sons are having major difficulties making their way in the world and a lot of our money seems to go on false starts in education and work. There's some good stuff in there too no doubt, but I'm worried.
Any thoughts?
Are we talking of just financial poverty here, or all flavours? I.e emotional, psychological self
Your question beat me to it.
Are we discussing just financial poverty or emotional/psychological as well?
For me the emotional damage is even worse than lack of money.
I went to normal local schools where we were all poor. But I was still treated badly, no friends, in the bottom classes.
At home, my father in particular made it very clear that I was an embarrassment to him and people mustn't find out that I even exist because it would affect his reputation and standing in the community.
Then as I got older things changed. But didn't get better. Just different.
At school I improved academically and when I was transferred to different classes. The new class didn't really accept me. And the old class shunned me totally.
Enough rambling for now.
Robert, you’re not rambling but just self-negating as you’ve been hard wired to feel rejected. You certainly aren’t here on the forum.
Yes, poverty whether financial, emotional, psychological can all be deeply damaging and can make the journey to a better and more contented space more challenges and prone to more hurdles.
We've all got our stories but I seriously love the way you tell yours. You have a truly captivating way of seeing the world and you're a gifted writer. And you have a way of imparting how you experienced it at the time while keeping an observers perspective. You're a very talented writer. I wish I could put my experiences into words the way you do.
More rambling from me on how financial poverty and emotional poverty are linked.
Children go through growth spurts, where there is a period of rapid growth followed by stability.
When I was around 12, I outgrew my existing clothes ( and I looked ridiculous with trousers looking like drain pipes etc.) And my mother was so ANGRY that she had to buy new clothes for me ( financial poverty). She bought new clothes which were all a size or two sizes too big for me. Saying I would grow into them. Again I looked ridiculous with trousers looping around my shoes etc. But I had stopped growing and the clothes wore out without me growing into them.
Yes, for me it began with financial poverty but then radiated out as the lack of money led to even more exclusion from social events, school trips and even just the costs of getting about and attending free stuff. Plus accentuated the feelings of difference when my clothes were a bit scruffy or strange, I didn't have the same magazines as other girls, no access to the music they all started discussing or even to my parents' booze (they had none). I even felt I couldn't accept others' invitations out of fear that I'd have to invite them back (not that I got many).
So I'd say that financial poverty brought emotional damage in its wake. Feelings of anxiety, insecurity, difference, shame and lack of autonomy or choice were never far away anyway, but having no money made them worse.