False Promises and Lies

yeah I can't stand open ended ness. If I say I'm gonna do something then I will. And usually I will prioritise that above everything else (which I am coming to realise isn't terribly healthy...)

My boss (who is great) does have a habit of saying "catch you tomo" which really bugs me as it is far too vague for me. And if 'm on a paranoid day then the logical part of me that knows "it's just coz he is busy" gets relegated to the background and all the "i'm boring him". "he's fed up with me", "I'm being a pain", "that's just his way of fobbing me off" come to the fore. I also hate it when people don't answer emails or texts.

I have had that happen to me a few times one manufacturing place i worked had a engineering manager who was very large and a physical bully who had no qualifications for the job he got purely through intimidation i wanted to return some tool i had signed out of the foremans office who had finished early i caught said bully exiting his office and asked him if i could sign the tool back into foremans office he replied with a blunt "no" when i questioned why he just looked at me in a smirk and said sarcastically "tough" so i called him a C&%T he came right into my face poked one his fat little fingers in my chest and said "call me that again and i will pound the Sh&t out of you"  to which i said "Do it C&%T and i will be straight up to Human resources and get you fired then arrested for assault and sued all in that order" he just looked at me in a confused and bewildered way and stomped off i don't think anyone had ever stood up to him like that especially a skinny 16yr old but then ive always spoke my mind regardless to who it was and especially bullies

This brings back bad memories from my last job.  The managers openly accused me of black & white thinking.  Yet they were worse themselves.  They were unable to cope with my slightly unusual behaviour.  And were just looking for faults in my performance.  

I wasn't worse than other staff.  And a blind eye was turned to their faults.  But with me,. Any slight problem was treated as a serious situation and threats of dismissal.

Plastic said:

This is one of the major incompatibilities that I have when dealing with NTs. I had a manager that was so bad that my ability to talk to him was reduced almost to F*** OFF.

I find that as people reveal themselves to just be liars or bullsh*tting, my respect for them goes down the pan.  I have had this with previous bosses whose management style and competence has been questionable.  One incident resulted in a boss threatening to fight me outside of the work venue because I picked holes in his methods and then eventually his arguments towards me.  He was just a bully and a stupid one at that.

If someone said they will do something, then I expect them to do it in a timely manner and to a good standard.  Anything less and I will pull them up on it.  It may come across as antagonising, but it would just be easier if people only stated what they are actually going to do to save everyone's time and over-inflated expectations.

My temper is much calmer nowadays, but lying and bullying/manipulation still make my blood boil and I will challenge those responsible.

I find that NTs do this all the time. They also often seem to agree with whoever they are talking with which also drives me mad because it seems impossible to work out what they actually think about anything

I didn't know you'd even met my cousin! She's terrible for making arrangements and letting people down on the day. You put in loads of work to making a meal or organising your day around her, then you get the text saying 'sorry, I can't' with some lame excuse you know for a fact she used with someone else only the previous week. I've stopped seeing her for that reason. She's bipolar and I know things can be incredibly tough for her. I still love her but have had to break contact for the sake of my own emotional health.

An 'I'll do my best, let's talk on the day' is far better, taking pressure off each participant (I tried this with my cousin and it didn't work but with most people it probably would).

With professionals it's especially annoying. Their job, the thing they get paid for, is to help you and do what's needed. Yet so often they don't. Yes, I get angry, too. When I was able to work I would be on the dot with everything. If things had to be delayed (through other people's inefficiencies usually) I'd still keep the client or manager updated by the deadline. I find most people can forgive missed deadlines so long as we know the person is trying instead of simply ignoring us.

What i also have a problem with is people who tell me how to do something a ceryain way or pull me up on doing something wrong then flout their own rules they have created.

I often seem to never forget these things then sometimes bring them up at a later stage. 

I dont know if i have ASD but i suspect i do.

This type of behaviour is infuriating. I have a particular friend who when i suggest something says "yes we should" !then when i come to confirming, or even just ssying "rememver that time we said we wpuld......so why dont we" she has made other plans. Its only this past year and since ive been reading up on ASD that i have realised i have a different perspective.

If i say im going to do something i jolly well do it.

However i have also learned that because i think like this about myself i put that expectation onto other people. People have different capacities and ive realised she is just a flaky person.

I have also realised that i dont say anything to her. So as far as she is concerned she has done nothing wrong. I dont say anything for various reasons...maybe a) i just whinge to my partner instead....b) i dont want confrontation.she is one of my oldest friends and i would struggle in social situations without her and we do have a great laugh together c) i dont want to come across as arsey.

What ive started doing is using humour "oh im getting a complex you dont want to sed me anymore" etc

i just find it so annoying one of the people who does this is someone who knows how much it annoys me yet still does it

you did indeed

Neurotypicals have a very low say/do ratio - they promise a lot to everyone to make themselves feel good but continually fail to deliver. Get used to it. It's normal for all of them. They live this way being useless to each other and it doesn't seem to bother them. They don't even register it as lying.

ASD people tend to be a bit more methodical and precise about these details.

This is one of the major incompatibilities that I have when dealing with NTs. I had a manager that was so bad that my ability to talk to him was reduced almost to F*** OFF.

Luckily, I worked on my own most of the time so didn't have to deal with them.

Well, I'm not lying to you.

I promised that if we reported this morning's spam, it would be removed.  And it's gone.

me too it seems all kinds of people do it nowadays from call centres to banks the NHS it's just endless

Oh yes, I’m with you on this one. I very much see things like this:

I find this sort of behaviour most difficult when it comes from health ‘professionals’, and it leaves me rather distressed and untrusting of them.

oh and another thing texting ... you text someone and they take ages to reply or just ignore the text all together but when they text you they expect an immediate reply FFS as you may gather im having a minor meltdown stressful day