Looking for Support for Young Adults with Autism

What part of the UK do you live in? The NAS has various branches in different locations. You might be able to join an adult social club?

www.autism.org.uk/.../group.aspx

Hi, thank you for replying to my post. I live in the Wirral area. I don't drive and neither does my parents. I have just looked at the link you put in your reply, and all the support groups are either in London, Manchester or places that are too far for me to travel. I am looking for support near me, and ways that could help with my Autism. I stay in 24/7 unless I need to go out, but if I do go out my mum comes with me every time. I have no friends, I don't work (atm) I am just struggling to find support for young adults with autism x

> what I could do next

It's easy to get sucked into negatives but I prefer to try and think of things as being like a card game - you can't change the hand you're dealt, but you can try and play it the best you can.  You might not always win but I think there's some satisfaction in trying to do as well as you possibly could.  Potentially there's always room for improvement.

So what sorts of things would you like to do next?  What things interest you or are you good at?  What things do you currently struggle with that you'd like to get better at?  Pick a few of those things that you think are most important / would help you the most and try and break them down into small steps.  As you get improvements on some things then you can start to work on other things.  Just remember the cliches "Rome wasn't built in a day" and "Life is a marathon not a sprint."  As long as you're slowly moving forwards you're doing OK.

Once you have some ideas, ask if people have any suggestions / advice on how you might break those things down into small steps and move them forward.

> what I could do next

It's easy to get sucked into negatives but I prefer to try and think of things as being like a card game - you can't change the hand you're dealt, but you can try and play it the best you can.  You might not always win but I think there's some satisfaction in trying to do as well as you possibly could.  Potentially there's always room for improvement.

So what sorts of things would you like to do next?  What things interest you or are you good at?  What things do you currently struggle with that you'd like to get better at?  Pick a few of those things that you think are most important / would help you the most and try and break them down into small steps.  As you get improvements on some things then you can start to work on other things.  Just remember the cliches "Rome wasn't built in a day" and "Life is a marathon not a sprint."  As long as you're slowly moving forwards you're doing OK.

Once you have some ideas, ask if people have any suggestions / advice on how you might break those things down into small steps and move them forward.

I will have a look at that YouTube video soon. I know it's hard to not get sucked into feeling what you can't do, because it is difficult when you see people doing things that you would like to do. But yesterday, I got an email from Chester Zoo and they say they do an internship that I wouldn't need experience. Only problem for me there is that I have to be there for 8am and I need to wake up around 5:30am to be able to get the buses I need to arrive on time. I am leaving that as an option just in case I don't find anything else. I said to my parents that if this is something I would like to do then I have to put the effort in and get myself up for that time etc.

With drawing I only like drawing in my spare time, I wouldn't consider a career in it. I only like drawing cartoons too as they are a lot easier to draw lol xD Yes there is a library and I probably be able to find things online but I think I would stick to keeping it as a hobbie.

Yeah just like my drawing, I like to keep them as a hobbie when I don't fancy playing sims or on my PlayStation.

What do you mean? You have confused me on this part?? x

>  It's difficult to find a career with animals as it is so popular but also to find an employer

> who would employ someone who is disabled as well as having good transport for me to

> get there (e.g. bus and train routes etc).  

I don't think of myself as "disabled" so much as "differently or unusually abled".  There's actually I lot I can do that "norms" seem to find difficult.  Have a look at this video for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At4Vmo13vJE.

Also, try not to get sucked into what you feel you can't do.  Try and look for things that you can do.  If there are no opportunities nearby, can you find a way of making those opportunities for yourself?

>  I am not a really good drawer

Most people aren't that good at most things when they start out.  If you enjoy doing something, you can spend time practising at it until you get good at it.  Do you have a local library that might be able to get you books for ideas and suggestions for exercises to help improve?  What can you find on the Internet?

> And there isn't anything for colouring or diamond painting. 

I guess people are always looking for new colouring books or diamond paintings?

> With adult things it would be understanding what people are talking about. In college I sat

> with a group of people and they were chatting about normal things.

A lot of the time they are talking about complete nonsense of no real use to man nor beast.

Thanks for writing all that out and trying to explain money to me lol xD but tbh it was all confusing haha xD I find it difficult to do sums in my head and even if I write it down i feel anxious because I am trying to figure out my money for the staff member while other people are waiting in line and I just feel really overwhelmed it's just how I am really, that's why I prefer to use my card all the time haha xD x

The easiest way to make change if you don't have a fancy electronic cash register that does everything for you is by "counting on".  You can also use the same technique for checking that the change they gave you is correct after you've checked the receipt to make sure it has the right products and quantities on it.

Let's say I buy some things that end up costing £3.37 in total and I give the shop keeper a £5 note, how can the shop keeper easily give me the right change without having to do the subtraction in their head?

* First they give me 3p change.  If we add 3p to £3.37 that makes £3.40.

* Next they give me another 60p.  If we add 60p to £3.40 that makes $4.00.

* Next they give me another £1.  If we add £1 to £4.00 that makes £5.00.

So in return for my £5 note they would give me £1.63 in change.

In ye olden dayes of the 70s / early 80s before electronic cash registers that did all the sums for you they would count on as they were giving you the coins/notes:

[First they say how much the goods we're buying cost to establish the starting point:]

"£3.37,"

[Then let's say they give me a 1p then a 2p:]

"£3.38, £3.40,"

[Then let's say they give me a 10p then a 50p:]

"£3.50, £4.00,"

[Then let's be really olde skoole and say they give me a £1 note:]

"£5.00."

So there you go - the wisdom of the ancients on how to make change without having to think too much and where both parties are confident that they gave and received the right change.

With making friends, I found it easy to make friends but because I didn't understand and didn't really fit in with the "friends" that I had I just felt left out. When I was doing childcare there was an autistic child and I loved playing with her, it was so much fun. I enjoyed playing with other children as well but it was really fun to include her.

I haven't contacted a career adviser as I am currently on the sick for two years. I see my work coach in November so I would be talking to them then. There aren't many things around were I live, just charity shops galore. I have looked up apprenticeships on the gov website and used the disability button and it didn't show any that would interest me. I find it difficult with careers because I'm not qualified, but I am a level 3 childcare practitioner. However, when I finished my training I realised that even though I enjoy the children's company I wouldn't feel happy pursuing a career with children. (I had a meltdown in a nursery for my first job, that's how I ended up on the sick for two years). It's difficult to find a career with animals as it is so popular but also to find an employer who would employ someone who is disabled as well as having good transport for me to get there (e.g. bus and train routes etc).  

The things I am good at would be good working with children, however like I mentioned above I feel like I would not be happy in that career. I am not a really good drawer so finding a career in art won't work. And there isn't anything for colouring or diamond painting. 

What ways I struggle with money is ages ago when I had a placement in a school they were doing a cake sale. They asked me to assist which I agree, it was going great since people were giving me the correct money. Until, and adult wanted four cakes and handed me £5 which then I froze. I had no idea how much to hand back or anything. The same thing happened when a girl younger than me handed me a £5 and I froze and i thought that she would be thinking what's taking her so long. My mum also said that when I am in the shops and I hand in money and I get change back, I don't check to see if I got the right change I just place it in my purse thinking they gave me the right change.
With adult things it would be understanding what people are talking about. In college I sat with a group of people and they were chatting about normal things. When they laughed I would laughed so it would make it look like I understood. I have always done that. There are probably other things that are difficult for me but I can't remember them right now x

I don't know how much you've done already, but here are some random thoughts as suggestions for how to get started:

> - Make friends who really understand me and actually want to be my friend and not use me.

Myself and my partner's experience is that find it's not that we can't make friends, it's that we often find making friends with "norms" difficult.  Whereas making friends with other people who are also "muties" or at least similar to us is a lot easier.

> - Find a way to start a career with animals

I guess the first thing is to find out what sorts of options there are in that area.  Have you tried the national careers service and arranging to see a careers advisor?  https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/.  Once you have some idea of what options there are you might then contact your local job centre disabilities person - https://www.gov.uk/looking-for-work-if-disabled to see what advice they can provide you. 

It's worth looking around and seeing what's in your local area that you think might be interesting.  Contact them to see if they will let you observe what they do and if they might have any advice.  I'd avoid mentioning ASD etc. until you have some idea of how receptive they might be to that information.  In the first place you're just interested in seeing what they do and trying to suck their brains dry for advice.  No need to mention anything that might put them off until you've achieved that objective :-D.

Once you have some idea of what you might want to do, and what you might need to go down that path then you can work out what you need to get there.

> - I am good at creative things like drawing, diamond painting, colouring.

I'd suggest thinking about how you can mix the things you're good at and enjoy doing with the sort of career you'd like.  Can you come up with a combination that's different to what other people are doing so that you can find yourself a niche?  

The other thing is to get really good at the things you enjoy doing so that you can develop a career in those areas.

> - I struggle with money and understanding mostly adult things.

In what sort of way do you struggle with money?  For the adult things you say you don't understand, which are the ones you would say impact you the most or which you'd most like to improve on?

Thank you for replying to my post. Yes it is easy to get suck into negatives especially when every time you try something all the doors close in your face. I know there is always room for improvement but I just hope that one day I will get some positives out of it.

Well I would like to...
- Make friends who really understand me and actually want to be my friend and not use me.
- Find a way to start a career with animals
- I am good at creative things like drawing, diamond painting, colouring.
- I struggle with money and understanding mostly adult things.

Thank you for your advice I will keep this in mind, maybe this could help me :) x