fed up 24/7

hi

im new to this site but saw it and thought id cast my story. so when i was younger, i was told that i was growing up with autism but they said mine, unlike many, is just a rare form but growing up, it affected my life and each day, this still happens. friends say it's just a bad day but if they were in my shoes, they would realize how depressing living my life was. things that happen are people letting me down in the last minute everytime because they can't tell me the proper truth, people saying the wrong things and claiming they're "trying to help" and arguments with people claiming they're always right blah blah (not saying i am). the main topic that makes my life hell are the tiniest little things that can cause me severe anger. i admit, at times, i have thought about taking my own life or hurting myself. i dont know how much longer i can go on. 

anyone else felt like this and if so, how did you get through it. i'm trying to get counselling but its the wait for an appointment that's bothering me. i hate being kept waiting on many things in life. to pass the time, i usually turn to sitting by myself with music full blast, screen brightness on tv's, computers etc on max and refusing to sleep till really late at night (sometimes, all night)

any ideas to help (positive only) would be grately appreciated