Published on 12, July, 2020
hi
im new to this site but saw it and thought id cast my story. so when i was younger, i was told that i was growing up with autism but they said mine, unlike many, is just a rare form but growing up, it affected my life and each day, this still happens. friends say it's just a bad day but if they were in my shoes, they would realize how depressing living my life was. things that happen are people letting me down in the last minute everytime because they can't tell me the proper truth, people saying the wrong things and claiming they're "trying to help" and arguments with people claiming they're always right blah blah (not saying i am). the main topic that makes my life hell are the tiniest little things that can cause me severe anger. i admit, at times, i have thought about taking my own life or hurting myself. i dont know how much longer i can go on.
anyone else felt like this and if so, how did you get through it. i'm trying to get counselling but its the wait for an appointment that's bothering me. i hate being kept waiting on many things in life. to pass the time, i usually turn to sitting by myself with music full blast, screen brightness on tv's, computers etc on max and refusing to sleep till really late at night (sometimes, all night)
any ideas to help (positive only) would be grately appreciated
Hi
im sorry to hear how you are feeling, I too feel so confused with life I want it to end but so far I have got through each episode.
advice I get given is tell somebody and I would urge you to do the same if you feel you are going to hurt yourself. I can not guarantee you the help you need will be the help you get but you will be safe and that is the main thing.
just remember you have a lot to offer and people do care xx
thanks for your reply, at least you know you to get through life. alright for some.
i dont know who can talk to and to be honest? no-one cares
Hello
Your replies ARE helping, it's just extremely difficult to know what will go right as everything goes wrong for me.
I'm on the isle of Wight and getting appointments here are very difficult for anywhere. I physically struggle to get anything when it comes to appointments so I just give up with it. I need to find some way of getting some sort of help but it's finding the time around my working hours
Even if my issues would still be there, id rather someone by my side for support, y'know. X
I’m so sorry I feel my replies are not helping and possibly making you feel worse this is not my intention.
The NHS have been fantastic with my physical health I just feel let down by them due to they way they have dealt with my MH / autism diagnosis. This does not mean they are no good and won’t help you, we all have different experiences. I’m sure some on here have been well supported. As much as I feel let down if it wasn’t for my GP I wouldn’t be here now so I have to give them some credit. Please contact them for help.
I am very concerned with you saying you are on the brink of doing something you will regret, the positive to take from that sentence is you will regret it so please stop and think before you do anything. It sounds like you need help now and most services are closed but you can call 111 or there is the crisis team. I don’t know where your based and only have the crisis team number for local to me but you could look it up or get it off 111.
if you call them they will put you through to a medical professional who will discuss everything with you until you feel well enough to end the call. The good thing about this service is they will then source help for you from the relevant NHS teams without you having to go through it lol again.
Dont think that finding a partner will make things go away it won’t, i would love to meet a new guy and start a relationship as it has been a while since my last one broke down but I can’t make it happen. If you met somebody it would be great but your underlying issues will still be there.
like I said I am worried my replies have not helped, I am sorry. Please co tact somebody and ask for help......... it’s hard I know, I do understand x
hi again
so nhs is no good then? i need some sort of extra special medicine. all my friends tend to recommend counselling but i dont know who to turn to. i dont want to pay for services that dont work because like my life, it'll end up being a waste of time and air.
i wish i had a lovely woman by my side thats supportive and helpful but that will never happen. i hear the term "you'll find the right one soon" or "the right one will come along" but no-one has in over a year. i can see my life in the future being a sad lonely old man because people don't care or arent interested. to be honest? i dont blame them, someone like me who's life is pathetic sad miserable and useless seem to be a laugh to most.
i hope they are, im on the brink of doing something i highly regret. work will be fun doing a 7 hr shift when i dont sleep till 3-4am. luckily, a half 1 start but will be a struggle! ah well, my life is a contsant struggle. i have no choice but to suffer alone these days
Hey
I wish I did know how to get through life, it’s not easy and really do understand your struggling.
i have been in some bad places and the NHS mental health teams ‘help’ made it worse. Things got to the stage where I did something daft and was sorted out by somebody who realised what was going on. The problem is I’ve gone back to feeling that bad so many times the person who sorted me out just gets angry and does not deal with me well at all, however whilst they are getting frustrated with me it distracts me from the road I was going down. What I would really like is somebody who can be sympathetic and understand and I’m sure that’s what you want too.
I replied to you as I feel I understand how you are feeling, I know when I feel like that I believe everybody is in a better place and lash out.
People on this group are really helpful and I’m sure you will get more supportive messages. Please don’t suffer alone
xx