I've just lost my best friend

All I can say is what a total *****. You are better off without people like that in your life. However, I realise that the shock is probably quite overwhelming right now. Try to have faith that it will pass and you will become stronger and realise that false friends like that are worth less than nothing.

I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart. But you know what, if she says these things to you, then, maybe she is not a "friend" material. 

I would feel upset in your situation too.

Making good friends does take a lot of time and work. This person doesn't sound like she was a good friend to you, especially as she has made hurtful comments and won't even give you any time to discuss your own feelings. Although she hasn't given you any right to reply it doesn't mean you can't ask if you want more information, it just means she might not reply.

Why do you think she said you were too emotional? If you could explain this then perhaps others on here could give you ideas for overcoming this if you wanted to. For example, where you crying a lot?

I've just moved to a new city and am trying to make friends, which I'm doing through volunteering, joining a running club and starting an evening art course in Sept. To help me narrow down what I wanted to do, especially volunteering wise, I made a list of what I like and don't like, as well as the kind of people I wanted to meet. Volunteering at Park Run was one of my ideas but it involves group socialising, which I hate so I was able to dismiss that one. Instead, I'm looking at volunteering at a cookery club for VI young people as I thought that would be a quieter and less intense environment. 

No, you are not overreacting. It’s not good that she will not discuss it with you or explain better. It may be she hasn’t any patience. The problem could be on her side even, or 50/50. If two people don’t gel it’s often nobody’s fault. Maybe you had differing ideas and expectations of the nature of your friendship.  It would be better if she told you what she meant. A true friend would. I hope you find someone who accepts you as you are. It really is worthwhile! 

Thank you all for your replies. I just feel it was really unfair she called me 'downright annoying'...am I overreacting or is that a mean thing to say?

Hi Angel Cake. Sorry to hear you’re going through something familiar to me. I would try perhaps too hard to keep friends, and that made them run away! I was too intense, too caring and perhaps suffocated our friendship. On the other hand, some were not good friendships. I was taken advantage of. In the long run the good friendship or two has persevered and we are still friends, but each have our own space and lives. Friendship was described to me like holding fine sand. Squeeze it and it trickles away.  Cradle it gently and it stays in your hands. 

I agree with what the other replies have said. It will pass. You WILL find someone who appreciates you. If this was a good friendship it will return to being so. Your friend might be having their own problems. Never give up. 

...Please excuse me, but it is me again. I forget to add something(s) rather more easy to understand...

If your friend understands you, then she may be currently going through something which she knows that you cannot help with. (Such things do exist, of course.)...

Another thing is if your friend understands you so much that she does not want to upset you considering whatever you yourself may be going through...

Of those two, I would say the former is most likely. Yet a problem for everyone is, as I hinted before, the waiting and what to do in the meantime...

Be strong, and always be yourself, AngelCake. (I may post no more here after this.)...

Glad Tidings to AngleCake from myself, certainly...!

I recall some of your previous Posts and so I for one am glad to see you are well and strong enough to Post again... well done to you. I voted up the other answers because this post from myself may not be all that helpful, but I support you anyway. When people do things like this, then you find out who your TRUE friends really are. Your friend may need some "space"/time alone, due to troubles they do want want to discuss...

My own Point-Of-View may seem bad: I have no "friends", for if they have troubles, I cannot always help them. Sometimes a "friend" may be feeling so very emotional that they feel better by taking out their troubles upon someone who understands/can take it... just listen, understand, and wait and see what happens to them...

Angel Cake said:

'she needs to concentrate on herself and I'm too emotional'. Which I suppose is fair enough...do I have a right to be upset?

...as I said, there. And YES, you are perfectly alright to "be upset". If she is a true friend, then once she is over whatever it is, then you may or she may... reinitiate your friendship. (The problem is what to do in the meantime...?) Good Luck to you from myself, anyway.

This is an awful situation for you and I am so sorry that you have lost someone you deeply care for.

Please be kind to yourself during this difficult time as it is all too easy to analyse everything that has happened to see how you could have fixed things.  It's not your fault and as cheesy as it sounds, time is a great healer, so whether your friend decides to contact you again or not, you will feel better able to cope with whatever happens.

From having experience of similar situations, I haven't always got the answers I craved to understand what went wrong, but I have learned to accept them and move on and you will do the same with time.  Respect your friend's wishes and give your friend the space they need.  Focus on your needs now and seek support should you need it here on the forums or from other networks available to you.

Take care.

I am sorry. I am terrible at keeping friends so I can’t offer you much advice. Only to say, maybe the fact you are upset suggests you are a caring friend. I understand it must be very difficult not being able to reply or even defend yourself. It does seem strange to me there can not be any dialogue regarding it all.Take good care of yourself and try not to blame yourself. I am sure there is more too it than just you.