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I've just lost my best friend

Angel Cake

I've just received a message from who I thought was my best friend of over a year saying that, although she thinks I'm 'kind' and 'always want to do my best for everyone' I'm also 'too emotional' and 'downright annoying' (these are all direct quotes) and she never wants to speak to me again; she's asked me to not to contact her. This has come out of the blue; I swear I have done absolutely nothing...or at least I don't think I have. She didn't say I'd done anything, just that she 'doesn't like my personality' and she hopes I'll 'cherish the memories of our friendship, even though she doesn't want to be friends anymore'.

This has sent me into a spiral of despair, but I know she has every right to end the friendship if she's not happy. Am I overreacting? How will I get over this? Am I going to fail every friendship I'm in for the rest of my life? It's devastating, and all the worse for having been given no right of reply and no clear explanation, apart from the fact that 'she needs to concentrate on herself and I'm too emotional'. Which I suppose is fair enough...do I have a right to be upset?

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  • I would feel upset in your situation too.

    Making good friends does take a lot of time and work. This person doesn't sound like she was a good friend to you, especially as she has made hurtful comments and won't even give you any time to discuss your own feelings. Although she hasn't given you any right to reply it doesn't mean you can't ask if you want more information, it just means she might not reply.

    Why do you think she said you were too emotional? If you could explain this then perhaps others on here could give you ideas for overcoming this if you wanted to. For example, where you crying a lot?

    I've just moved to a new city and am trying to make friends, which I'm doing through volunteering, joining a running club and starting an evening art course in Sept. To help me narrow down what I wanted to do, especially volunteering wise, I made a list of what I like and don't like, as well as the kind of people I wanted to meet. Volunteering at Park Run was one of my ideas but it involves group socialising, which I hate so I was able to dismiss that one. Instead, I'm looking at volunteering at a cookery club for VI young people as I thought that would be a quieter and less intense environment. 

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  • I would feel upset in your situation too.

    Making good friends does take a lot of time and work. This person doesn't sound like she was a good friend to you, especially as she has made hurtful comments and won't even give you any time to discuss your own feelings. Although she hasn't given you any right to reply it doesn't mean you can't ask if you want more information, it just means she might not reply.

    Why do you think she said you were too emotional? If you could explain this then perhaps others on here could give you ideas for overcoming this if you wanted to. For example, where you crying a lot?

    I've just moved to a new city and am trying to make friends, which I'm doing through volunteering, joining a running club and starting an evening art course in Sept. To help me narrow down what I wanted to do, especially volunteering wise, I made a list of what I like and don't like, as well as the kind of people I wanted to meet. Volunteering at Park Run was one of my ideas but it involves group socialising, which I hate so I was able to dismiss that one. Instead, I'm looking at volunteering at a cookery club for VI young people as I thought that would be a quieter and less intense environment. 

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