Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m relatively newly diagnosed (in my early 40s) and recently been reflecting on the extent to which I mask. Some posts in other threads have questioned people’s masking at diagnostic assessment as if the person can choose when to mask and when not to. For me it’s not that simple - there’s masking I’m conscious of and ‘could’ stop if I tried/had to, but there’s other masking I definitely do that has been ingrained since childhood. I can’t just choose not to do this latter type and I’m working hard to identify all aspects of it at the moment as I haven’t been conscious of it but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t caused me problems - main thing being residual stress. Just wanted to share these thoughts. Has anyone else thought about this?
I completely resonate with your experience, it's only through focused reflection that I'm starting to piece together what is masking (conscious and unconscious) and what is authentic.
I've recently read Ellie Middleton's book (Unmasked) which talks about this topic and I found it really useful. She talks in part about the level of masking she has with different people. Strongly recommend!