I am at the end of the menopase journet for quite some time but I wonder what it was like for other people.
For me I was fascinated by it and it became my Special interest for a number of years.
One thing it did was make it harder to mask, which was liberating for me and baffling to some who did not really know me well.
I apologise if anything I say here in this discussion is deemed to be too graphic or triggering...
During the run-up to the menopause the first thing I became aware of was hot flashes, but they were so few and far between that it took me a while to join the dots. It wasn't until my periods started getting lighter and further apart that I realised I was hurtling towards menopause.
In terms of mood changes, it's impossible to say for certain if perimenopause and the menopause had caused any. Whilst I had been in the perimenopausal phase, my dad had died after being terminally unwell, and there had also been two other members of my family who had died, all within the space of six months, so mentally/emotionally I wasn't in a good place.
It was approximately a year after my dad's death that I had my last ever period, and that's when things notched up several gears and I found myself experiencing hot flushes and sweats throughout the day and night. It literally seemed to happen overnight with no gradual build up.
If you're easily triggered or particularly squeamish, then this is the point when you might want to stop reading...
TRIGGER WARNING
During the months leading up to my last ever period, I had become aware that when I was using the toilet (for a wee), there was also a lot of clear mucus-like discharge. In hindsight, it was as though my body was wanting to rid itself of natural lubrication before my biological clock completely stopped.
For a good many years prior to the menopause, my libido had been pretty much non-existent. I had assumed (incorrectly) that it would remain that way. Therefore, it came as quite a surprise when the menopause (or should I say post-menopause), switched my libido back on.
It has to be said that when I had been a young adult, the word 'prude' was not one that I had ever associated with myself. However, since becoming post-menopausal, I seem to be considerably more open-minded about certain sexual activities that previously would have caused me to feel horrified and repulsed.
Long before the menopause, I had been told things, read articles, and watched things on TV. I had done my research and genuinely believed there would be no surprises. I was as prepared for the inevitable changes as I thought I could be. I have now realised that even if one sails through the menopause with minimal issues, no amount of research prepares you for what the experience will feel like.
I was diagnosed a few yrs ago, I am 55. I feel like my emotions reverted to those I had as a teen and in my twenties.
I couldn't self regulate in my younger yrs and never understood why I was so different and found everything so difficult.
I realised that my menopause has left me feeling the same way. The privilege of having my diagnosis has helped me understand why I am finding things difficult and in turn put in place measures to help me cope.
Remedies are often in the form of a liquid, that you mix with some water, they don't always taste that great, but they did work. Sometimes they come in pills.
Unlike Chinese medicine a British medical herbalist will only use plants and no animal products.
Unfortunately, that's the case with this and other online forums. I know, that there's women’s FB groups, and possible paid subscription groups elsewhere. However, I don’t think any online group is safe and secure, as everything is hackable!
I'm so glad I found this site, and particularly, this thread! I was recently diagnosed autistic in Feb 2024 at age 55, and I just have a hunch that menopause is what finally brought my autism to light. Anyone else discover their autism in menopause?
I like the sound of this. I do struggle to trust people though. How do you ingest it? is it just herbs or potentially animal products? Don't worry if you don't know. Thanks.
If you don't get on with HRT, as many don't, then why not see a medical herbalist who can make you a potion designed just for you, taking in all your various symptoms? I did and never regretted it for a minute, she sorted out things I wasn't even aware were problems until I wasn't having them anymore.
I'm struggling. I now realise my symptoms started approx. 2021, but it was only recognised last year. I am on HRT, which is constantly being adjusted. I resorted to paying for a specialist who understands the menopause and ASC. My ASC symptoms have become increasingly tortutous during this time. My shutdowns and burnouts are closer together and I take longer to recover each time. I work full time. Thank you for listening.
This answers a question for me, which was is this room open to men and women, I see its open to men too and so does not feel like a safe space to talk about some issues.
I can't say what it will be like for you, honestly. I did not take the HRTs so my experience will have been considerably different. Perhaps some other women who did take them and are well past it can comment here about that.
I can say this, diet and a healthy gut bacterial population was key to my well being at that time.
I will also ask around of women I know who did take them and see what they experienced...
"meat suit" I love it.
Your story is very similar to mine. Very liberating. During menopause i had a book "Wise woman ways, the menopausal years" that was very helpful. I changed my diet and underwent a major intestinal cleanse. I had been looking forward to menopause to be free of the roller coaster ride that was menses. For about a year I lived on pop corn and watermelon, the only 2 foods that did not give me hot flashes.
I did not use hormone therapies. They felt wrong to me. I felt that because this was a natural phenomenon it was counter to that nature to try and mediate it with meds. I used herbs like Don quai, wild yam, black cohosh and the like.
I wanted to see what nature had in store for me. Also, I felt, the meds were to make men feel more comfortable with us as we aged into a stage in life they could not understand. This was the biggest reason other women gave me for taking them. It postponed the change with hormonal mimicry. It just felt wrong. I used foods and herbs and "forest" bathing instead.
I also started to feel more comfortable expressing myself more authentically, without feeling apologetic about it in front of others.
To myself: "OK, young crone, let's have at it!" (rubs palms together and claps).
thanks for sharing your story.
I will post here soon. It's interesting subject HRT. .Maybe later today I will have time. (I am 12 hours different from you)
I found perimenopause harder than the actual menopause itself. I didn't want to go down the HRT route and chose a medical herbalist to make me a tailor made brew to help, after a while I dropped that and just took sage tablets for the hot flushes. There are options that aren't hormonal, when I was in hospital the consultant was happy for me to keep taking the herbs and told one of his junior collegues off for challenging me about them. He said he wished he could prescribe them as he saw to many patients with hormone sensitive cancers that would benefit from them.
On the whole I love being post menopausal, I feel liberated from the monthly round of mood swings, pain and mess, I feel like myself every day of the month, I have no libido at all and I never realised how much brain space that took up, now I feel like I've got an extension in my head, more room for the things I want to do rather than the things my meat suit needs me to do.
Hi Uhane. I chose to go down the HRT route, so that has therefore limited my experience of affecting my autism and other things. I am 1 year into menopause and for me before HRT it was all about hot flushes at night keeping me awake.
What's it like at the end of the journey?
