Women's experience of autism

This is quite a broad subject and there is a lot of information available on this nowadays in the form of books and video.

However, I'm unable to access these due to an inability to read factual matter nowadays (I've tried 2 books on autism and gave up on both) and I simply can't process the spoken word properly.

So part of the reason for this thread is to learn from others.

It's not exclusively for women to post here.

It was sparked by comments on another thread about beauty and people's perception of how a 'beautiful' woman should behave.

I've had a disagreement with another member here before who felt that an autistic woman who was attractive could just dress a certain way and the men would follow.

However, my personal experiences of this is very different.

I don't want to make this introduction too wordy but I'm hoping that others here will want to contribute.

Women present differently to men and I read on this forum quite a lot of comments (based on incorrect assumptions) that appertain to men, not women.

'The different way in which girls and women present under the following headings have been identified below; social understanding, social communication, social imagination which is highly associated with routines, rituals and special interests. Some examples are:

  • Girls are more able to follow social actions by delayed imitation because they observe other children and copy them, perhaps masking the symptoms of Asperger syndrome (Attwood, 2007).
  • Girls are often more aware of and feel a need to interact socially. They are involved in social play, but are often led by their peers rather than initiating social contact. Girls are more socially inclined and many have one special friend.
  • In our society, girls are expected to be social in their communication. Girls on the spectrum do not ‘do social chit chat’ or make ‘meaningless’ comments in order to facilitate social communication. The idea of a social hierarchy and how one communicates with people of different status can be problematic and get girls into trouble with teachers.
  • Evidence suggests that girls have better imagination and more pretend play (Knickmeyer et al, 2008). Many have a very rich and elaborate fantasy world with imaginary friends. Girls escape into fiction, and some live in another world with, for example, fairies and witches.
  • The interests of girls in the spectrum are very often similar to those of other girls – animals, horses, classical literature – and therefore are not seen as unusual. It is not the special interests that differentiate them from their peers but it is the quality and intensity of these interests. Many obsessively watch soap operas and have an intense interest in celebrities.

The presence of repetitive behaviour and special interests is part of the diagnostic criteria for an autism spectrum disorder. This is a crucial area in which the male stereotype of autism has clouded the issue in diagnosing girls and women.'

https://autismhampshire.org.uk/about-autism/women-and-girls-on-the-autism-spectrum

Parents
  • In my early childhood I was a headstrong girl, I was quite fearless as well and my dad describes me as being a bit stubborn. I was also a bit of a tomboy and had behavioural issues in primary school. I kept on being reported home, where I did get punished, but it didn't bother me.  I also really just had boys as friends. I struggled with sensory issues and I think it at times caused me behavioural issues.  I didn't have much toys. I actually behaved more like a classical boy with autism and although I was a bit naughty, I was quite sweet as well with it and quite principled. I never got involved in things that had nothing to do with me. We moved when I was 8 1/2 and I found the new school a bit of a change. My dad would often state about my inappropriate questions which I learnt to moderate. I started to talk to more girl's, by secondary school I tried to fit in more, but could see that I really felt at home with the boys when I was around them. I am not very emotional in style, so that could have something to do with upbringing as well. I liked arts in school, but I wasn't allowed to develop my special interests as I was told there was no future in it. I have had lifetime interests as well. I was born in 73 when Autism wasn't diagnosable until 1980 and ASD came out in 94. I started being treated as ASD in 2015 by the NHS and diagnosed in 2022 with a mix of one and two's. My childhood I would say was level 2.

Reply
  • In my early childhood I was a headstrong girl, I was quite fearless as well and my dad describes me as being a bit stubborn. I was also a bit of a tomboy and had behavioural issues in primary school. I kept on being reported home, where I did get punished, but it didn't bother me.  I also really just had boys as friends. I struggled with sensory issues and I think it at times caused me behavioural issues.  I didn't have much toys. I actually behaved more like a classical boy with autism and although I was a bit naughty, I was quite sweet as well with it and quite principled. I never got involved in things that had nothing to do with me. We moved when I was 8 1/2 and I found the new school a bit of a change. My dad would often state about my inappropriate questions which I learnt to moderate. I started to talk to more girl's, by secondary school I tried to fit in more, but could see that I really felt at home with the boys when I was around them. I am not very emotional in style, so that could have something to do with upbringing as well. I liked arts in school, but I wasn't allowed to develop my special interests as I was told there was no future in it. I have had lifetime interests as well. I was born in 73 when Autism wasn't diagnosable until 1980 and ASD came out in 94. I started being treated as ASD in 2015 by the NHS and diagnosed in 2022 with a mix of one and two's. My childhood I would say was level 2.

Children
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