Published on 12, July, 2020
This is quite a broad subject and there is a lot of information available on this nowadays in the form of books and video.
However, I'm unable to access these due to an inability to read factual matter nowadays (I've tried 2 books on autism and gave up on both) and I simply can't process the spoken word properly.
So part of the reason for this thread is to learn from others.
It's not exclusively for women to post here.
It was sparked by comments on another thread about beauty and people's perception of how a 'beautiful' woman should behave.
I've had a disagreement with another member here before who felt that an autistic woman who was attractive could just dress a certain way and the men would follow.
However, my personal experiences of this is very different.
I don't want to make this introduction too wordy but I'm hoping that others here will want to contribute.
Women present differently to men and I read on this forum quite a lot of comments (based on incorrect assumptions) that appertain to men, not women.
'The different way in which girls and women present under the following headings have been identified below; social understanding, social communication, social imagination which is highly associated with routines, rituals and special interests. Some examples are:
The presence of repetitive behaviour and special interests is part of the diagnostic criteria for an autism spectrum disorder. This is a crucial area in which the male stereotype of autism has clouded the issue in diagnosing girls and women.'
https://autismhampshire.org.uk/about-autism/women-and-girls-on-the-autism-spectrum
Girls are more socially inclined and many have one special friend.
When I was a child I had one friend, a boy, until the age of 12.
Then I had one friend until I left home and went to live in a shared flat.
There was quite a social life within the flat, but I found living with a group of people hard.
I've maintained a couple of friendships, one male, one female.
However, I've never felt accepted by women and in actual fact, have never wanted to be.
I have had a few very close 'friendships' with women, but generaly I have I felt very much outside of every female group (apart from to some degree, here).
I was bullied throughout my school and working life, and it was always by females, so it's led to a distrust of females.
I think part of it may have been a bit of jealousy due to my looks BUT I now feel that the vast majority was due to being so very different.
I am wondering if this is similar to anyone else's experience?
I've been really lucky in the people I've had in my life from mid teens. I've tended to gravitate towards similar people. The ones who were not have flaked away. It seems that people who I have clicked with right away become lifelong friends of mine, the ones who have taken any kind of "work" have not lasted. The women I have in my life are not conventional and pretty open minded so there's usually a bond that way. Friendships are very much on my terms and I run a mile if it's imposed on me. I tend to get on better with women who are more direct and also men. It's just easier with less nuance.
out_of_step said:Friendships are very much on my terms and I run a mile if it's imposed on me.
Interesting.
True of me too.
I do find people being friendly towards me, even nowadays, when I have little social contact, but I tend to withdraw.
In fact, one of my junior school reports actually said (memory here): 'Debra will enjoy spending time with her few chosen friends'.
I threw away all my school reports, which is rather a pity, as when I was young, teachers weren't adverse to being blunt.
Their comments could have been quite enlightening with regard to autism.
Thank you for sharing.
me too so we can be friends so lets get to know each other