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Women's experience of autism

Deleted user
8 months ago

This is quite a broad subject and there is a lot of information available on this nowadays in the form of books and video.

However, I'm unable to access these due to an inability to read factual matter nowadays (I've tried 2 books on autism and gave up on both) and I simply can't process the spoken word properly.

So part of the reason for this thread is to learn from others.

It's not exclusively for women to post here.

It was sparked by comments on another thread about beauty and people's perception of how a 'beautiful' woman should behave.

I've had a disagreement with another member here before who felt that an autistic woman who was attractive could just dress a certain way and the men would follow.

However, my personal experiences of this is very different.

I don't want to make this introduction too wordy but I'm hoping that others here will want to contribute.

Women present differently to men and I read on this forum quite a lot of comments (based on incorrect assumptions) that appertain to men, not women.

'The different way in which girls and women present under the following headings have been identified below; social understanding, social communication, social imagination which is highly associated with routines, rituals and special interests. Some examples are:

  • Girls are more able to follow social actions by delayed imitation because they observe other children and copy them, perhaps masking the symptoms of Asperger syndrome (Attwood, 2007).
  • Girls are often more aware of and feel a need to interact socially. They are involved in social play, but are often led by their peers rather than initiating social contact. Girls are more socially inclined and many have one special friend.
  • In our society, girls are expected to be social in their communication. Girls on the spectrum do not ‘do social chit chat’ or make ‘meaningless’ comments in order to facilitate social communication. The idea of a social hierarchy and how one communicates with people of different status can be problematic and get girls into trouble with teachers.
  • Evidence suggests that girls have better imagination and more pretend play (Knickmeyer et al, 2008). Many have a very rich and elaborate fantasy world with imaginary friends. Girls escape into fiction, and some live in another world with, for example, fairies and witches.
  • The interests of girls in the spectrum are very often similar to those of other girls – animals, horses, classical literature – and therefore are not seen as unusual. It is not the special interests that differentiate them from their peers but it is the quality and intensity of these interests. Many obsessively watch soap operas and have an intense interest in celebrities.

The presence of repetitive behaviour and special interests is part of the diagnostic criteria for an autism spectrum disorder. This is a crucial area in which the male stereotype of autism has clouded the issue in diagnosing girls and women.'

https://autismhampshire.org.uk/about-autism/women-and-girls-on-the-autism-spectrum

Parents
  • 28 days ago

    I relate a lot with a little exception- my special interests in childhood were more like male stereotypical - trams and magnets. But also Barbie dolls, I didn’t play them, I just created for them - dollhouses, clothes etc. I could also read encyclopaedia for hours just for pleasure. Otherwise I had a very rich inner world, imagination, if I liked some movie, I imagined that I was in that world. With girls I felt lost and often insecure because they bullied me and I felt like I called it that they had some secret language hidden behind words that only they understood but I couldn’t and I was always left behind. I also lacked malice and ability to compete with them which combined with blindness to social cues made me vulnerable. I have only one lifelong friend for 20 years already. She was the only one who didn’t ask me to go for parties, shopping restaurants etc - places I hate and feel bad at. We had great time like hiking, swimming, bicycle rides etc. there are always some activities with her so I don’t have to spend too much energy on analysing and decoding the conversations. I tried to make some more friendships but it failed and then I decided I don’t need anyone else, I’m fine as I am. I have some repetitive behaviours, such as pacing room with a music on earphones, or without music just in silence, I also stem with my hands, twirl fingers, do the rocking. The main reason I went undiagnosed was my mom refusing to get me tested, as the teacher suggested. She said that I’m normal just like her. Till today she says that we are the normal ones and the rest of the world is crazy like a whirlwind. I also feel that way. 

Reply
  • 28 days ago

    I relate a lot with a little exception- my special interests in childhood were more like male stereotypical - trams and magnets. But also Barbie dolls, I didn’t play them, I just created for them - dollhouses, clothes etc. I could also read encyclopaedia for hours just for pleasure. Otherwise I had a very rich inner world, imagination, if I liked some movie, I imagined that I was in that world. With girls I felt lost and often insecure because they bullied me and I felt like I called it that they had some secret language hidden behind words that only they understood but I couldn’t and I was always left behind. I also lacked malice and ability to compete with them which combined with blindness to social cues made me vulnerable. I have only one lifelong friend for 20 years already. She was the only one who didn’t ask me to go for parties, shopping restaurants etc - places I hate and feel bad at. We had great time like hiking, swimming, bicycle rides etc. there are always some activities with her so I don’t have to spend too much energy on analysing and decoding the conversations. I tried to make some more friendships but it failed and then I decided I don’t need anyone else, I’m fine as I am. I have some repetitive behaviours, such as pacing room with a music on earphones, or without music just in silence, I also stem with my hands, twirl fingers, do the rocking. The main reason I went undiagnosed was my mom refusing to get me tested, as the teacher suggested. She said that I’m normal just like her. Till today she says that we are the normal ones and the rest of the world is crazy like a whirlwind. I also feel that way. 

Children