Newly Diagnosed

I feel some resentment, but no real anger. I was a child in the 1960s and 1970s, when virtually no one was diagnosed with autism who didn't also have obvious intellectual disability. So even my lengthy spells of selective mutism at infant school were not picked up on.

I was a child then too and it was rare to get any accurate, useful diagnosis. I was labeled "shy" but being well-behaved/an ideal student guaranteed that no teacher would report any concern about me. Instead, those who acted out and disrupted classes got reported and seen by professionals at that time.

"Never says anything in class", was on most of my school reports. I was shy and as compliant as I could possibly be, and also fairly good academically. I didn't cause any problems for anyone else, I suffered all the problems.

I changed school for 2 terms at the age of 15, to a single-sex one I often wonder what life would have been like if I'd stayed at the original (co-educational) school. Certainly, my experience of motorcycles would have been different.

Swimming was the one physical activity I was good at. I swam a mile, aged 11. Of course I was mostly made to play football and other team sports - which I loathe and hate to this day. It seemed to me, with little ability to even catch a ball and poor gross motor skills, like a repeated ritual of humiliation.

oh wow... I think I was very lucky... my mum regularly let me skip a few hours of school especially when I was older... We started having these 'free/study' periods and if I skipped the classes before those it meant I could only go in at 11 or even later. Same for going home early sometimes. Oh and swimming lessons, I had less than 10% attendance in those..... My mum even wrote me 'fake' excuse letters for all of this. I am very grateful. School was tough enough and I was doing very well academically and a lot of school is not very efficient anyways... It was much better for me to rest sometimes and just catch up quickly in my own time. Thankfully I had a mum who encouraged skipping school- I think that is probably quite rare. 

I also had lots of 'tummy aches' before school when I was in 5th Grade - I had a particularly bad teacher that year.... Luckily my mum took action and I was able to change school the next year. School was still very challenging but I think the new school probably was also better suited to my needs. I still hated it but I think I still managed to avoid even bigger issues.

I can actually understand that. When I was younger, I'd think I'd rather have root canal surgery than go to a "social event". I wasn't joking, I meant it. My middle school years were my worst with bullying and having children make fun of me. Nothing was done of course.

Most of my work life was total hell. Quietly sitting at my desk working made me "different" - even though that's what I was being paid to do! I couldn't and didn't want to discuss my personal life (as my colleagues did) with people I didn't like or respect. I couldn't take listening to their inane chitchat over 7-8 hours a day so I wore earplugs, covered by my hair so nobody knew. I didn't want to add to their unfair judgements about me.

People interpreted my quietness as being "snooty" or a snob. I wasn't, I just wanted to do my work in peace. Like I was being paid to do.

I once complained of a sore tooth to get out of school, even though it was not giving me any pain, I had it extracted. The pain of unnecessary dentistry was better than going to school. A couple of days off school was worth a hole in my jaw. I thought it a good swap. School was, and is, such a miserable and/or hellish place for so many of us.

Yes, we suffered in silence. I also would tell my mother I was "sick" just so I could stay home from school. I did it a lot but nobody from the school ever looked into it. Another possible missed opportunity for help.

Yes, we suffered in silence. I also would tell my mother I was "sick" just so I could stay home from school. I did it a lot but nobody from the school ever looked into it. Another possible missed opportunity for help.

I changed school for 2 terms at the age of 15, to a single-sex one I often wonder what life would have been like if I'd stayed at the original (co-educational) school. Certainly, my experience of motorcycles would have been different.

Swimming was the one physical activity I was good at. I swam a mile, aged 11. Of course I was mostly made to play football and other team sports - which I loathe and hate to this day. It seemed to me, with little ability to even catch a ball and poor gross motor skills, like a repeated ritual of humiliation.

oh wow... I think I was very lucky... my mum regularly let me skip a few hours of school especially when I was older... We started having these 'free/study' periods and if I skipped the classes before those it meant I could only go in at 11 or even later. Same for going home early sometimes. Oh and swimming lessons, I had less than 10% attendance in those..... My mum even wrote me 'fake' excuse letters for all of this. I am very grateful. School was tough enough and I was doing very well academically and a lot of school is not very efficient anyways... It was much better for me to rest sometimes and just catch up quickly in my own time. Thankfully I had a mum who encouraged skipping school- I think that is probably quite rare. 

I also had lots of 'tummy aches' before school when I was in 5th Grade - I had a particularly bad teacher that year.... Luckily my mum took action and I was able to change school the next year. School was still very challenging but I think the new school probably was also better suited to my needs. I still hated it but I think I still managed to avoid even bigger issues.

I can actually understand that. When I was younger, I'd think I'd rather have root canal surgery than go to a "social event". I wasn't joking, I meant it. My middle school years were my worst with bullying and having children make fun of me. Nothing was done of course.

Most of my work life was total hell. Quietly sitting at my desk working made me "different" - even though that's what I was being paid to do! I couldn't and didn't want to discuss my personal life (as my colleagues did) with people I didn't like or respect. I couldn't take listening to their inane chitchat over 7-8 hours a day so I wore earplugs, covered by my hair so nobody knew. I didn't want to add to their unfair judgements about me.

People interpreted my quietness as being "snooty" or a snob. I wasn't, I just wanted to do my work in peace. Like I was being paid to do.

I once complained of a sore tooth to get out of school, even though it was not giving me any pain, I had it extracted. The pain of unnecessary dentistry was better than going to school. A couple of days off school was worth a hole in my jaw. I thought it a good swap. School was, and is, such a miserable and/or hellish place for so many of us.