Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm not really sure what to write if I'm honest...
So I had an assessment via Right to Choose on Tuesday and the psychiatrist gave me a diagnosis of 'ASD'. It explains so much of why I've always felt like an outcast (sometimes even amongst the other 'outcasts') but my overwhelming feeling is of anger - why it wasn't picked up when I was younger and why I had to struggle so much through High School and the horrendous bullying I've gone through in work places. I'm already in therapy for neurodivergent people or those suspected to be neurodivergent which has helped somewhat but I still can't shake the anger side of things.
Has anyone else experienced this?
I feel some resentment, but no real anger. I was a child in the 1960s and 1970s, when virtually no one was diagnosed with autism who didn't also have obvious intellectual disability. So even my lengthy spells of selective mutism at infant school were not picked up on.
I was a child then too and it was rare to get any accurate, useful diagnosis. I was labeled "shy" but being well-behaved/an ideal student guaranteed that no teacher would report any concern about me. Instead, those who acted out and disrupted classes got reported and seen by professionals at that time.